Hi everyone

[Raphael Siewen]

My name is Raphael,

I am a 17 year old amab gay guy who only learned about the trans community two years ago. For most of my life I never thought about my gender. I didn’t really care about gender or knew there was a difference between sex and gender. Once I new of trans people and their struggles I wanted to be an ally for them. Last year I was questioning my gender for the first time. I realize so far that I don’t think I’m a women because when I think of being a women, I get a headache. I can’t really try dresses because of my environment, but I have wore a high slippers that my mom owns and allows me to wear. At first I was uncomfortable with it because I thought someone would judge me. But now I sore of like them. My parents aren’t really fans of gay let alone trans people(their does the types that « ok » with other people being that way but not « their children » and I’m afraid of telling my cousin who accepted me as being gay because I fear that she would see this as me stealing the spot light of trans people.(even though she believes that invalidating trans people’s identities is wrong) Right now I’m wander if I fall somewhere in the masculine area. (Maybe I’m cis and I’m just confuse about my gender) I trying to say to myself that « I’m a man » or « I’m a cis man » to see if I like it but I don’t know how I feel about it. Sometimes I like it but usually don’t feel anything about it. I also like agender and non-binary but I’m not sure if I’m that. I try hypnosis to see what my gender is but I still don’t know how I feel. (I do feel better after doing hypnosis though) so does anyone have any advice for this or a clue about what my gender could be??? 

[Jackie C.]

Welcome @Raphael Siewen! Lovely to have you!

 

I'd suggest You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery as a precursor to whatever you want to try next. A gender therapist (that would be a therapist that specializes in gender issues) would be the logical next step if you're still looking for answers. There's a whole, wide world of alternate gender expression. In my friend group personally, I have people from binary trans, to agender, to gender-fluid, to bigender, to non-binary trans and a pile of people who just identify as queer. I wouldn't worry about labels so much as just working out what makes you feel comfortable.

 

Best of luck and we're always here if you have questions or need support!

 

Hugs!

[Delcina B]

Welcome Raphael! Glad you're here. It sounds like you've found gender isn't binary, this is the beginning of a journey where you get to find for yourself who you are. I hope you find the wonderful support, advice & acceptance here as I have. 

 

Hugs!

Delcina 

[Susan R]

On 1/13/2023 at 7:14 PM, Raphael Siewen said:

does anyone have any advice for this or a clue about what my gender could be???

Welcome @Raphael Siewen! It’s very nice to meet you. IMHO, it takes some time and experience in the world to figure out exactly where you fit on any of these gender, sexual orientation, and gender expression spectrums. Even then, your core identity can seemingly change with a single new relationship or new experience unleashing new feelings and new understanding about what you want and need. You may even find your place on these spectrums just to find out you’re more fluid that you thought. Some are luckier than others and find their authentic selves early in life. Others, like myself, have taken a lifetime to figure it out. I wish I could answer your question more specifically but I think it’s something you’ll have to experiment a little to figure it out on your own. Have fun out there and stay safe!

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷