Lost my interest in dating, and being with any one.

[Red_Lauren.]

I noticed this last summer. I dont know what to think of it. Part of me loves it, and the other part is confused. As I am still relatively young at 37. 

 

My levels were great in July when they last checked them. I love that sex is not a major factor in my life any more, but I also would love to have a partner to a degree. 

 

I have talked to my female friends about this, and they don't seem to understand what in talking about. They don't understand how munch that rawness of a male sex drive. Can push a man to date or find a partner, and with out that. I don't have that interest in dating. As I said I don't feel bad it's gone, but I still want a sex life, and a partner once and a while. Even of that means I don't use what God gave me.

[Carolyn Marie]

Could it be that you're not as "out and about" as much as you used to be, @Red_Lauren.?  I'm certainly no love guru, but if you aren't meeting people, as in prospective partners, or as much as you used to, then the opportunities to find anyone to spark your interest won't be there.  Perhaps just casually socializing, as in hobbies, special interest groups, exercise classes, hiking groups, would reduce the pressure and anxiety of "dating," and allow you to just be yourself.  Then running into someone you find pleasure in being around would come naturally.

 

You could also talk to a therapist and find out if it might be related to anxiety about dating-while-trans or something.  That would make me nervous, for sure.

 

Dang, I sound like Dear Abby.  😆

 

Carolyn Marie

[Susan R]

5 hours ago, Carolyn Marie said:

Perhaps just casually socializing, as in hobbies, special interest groups, exercise classes, hiking groups, would reduce the pressure and anxiety of "dating," and allow you to just be yourself.  Then running into someone you find pleasure in being around would come naturally.

@Red_Lauren., I have to agree with Carolyn Marie. Getting out and enjoying yourself with no expectations is a great way to combat stagnation. This can happen with married couples too if you aren’t changing things up from time to time. Getting into a rut can cause you to lose interest in life itself not just sex.

[Red_Lauren.]

On 1/27/2023 at 11:49 PM, Carolyn Marie said:

Could it be that you're not as "out and about" as much as you used to be, @Red_Lauren.?  I'm certainly no love guru, but if you aren't meeting people, as in prospective partners, or as much as you used to, then the opportunities to find anyone to spark your interest won't be there.  Perhaps just casually socializing, as in hobbies, special interest groups, exercise classes, hiking groups, would reduce the pressure and anxiety of "dating," and allow you to just be yourself.  Then running into someone you find pleasure in being around would come naturally.

 

You could also talk to a therapist and find out if it might be related to anxiety about dating-while-trans or something.  That would make me nervous, for sure.

 

Dang, I sound like Dear Abby.  😆

 

Carolyn Marie

I'm 100% fine dating as a trans person. I just never had had a any luck in the dating pool. Even as man with a good paying job. 

 

I think after 20 years since I moved up here. I'm just burnt out trying. Dating apps have proved to be a waste of time. People I Meet in person only treat me like a fetish. I also work when most people don't. So meeting people is kinda hard. It also dosn't help I work with the general public, ans while I like my job, and clients. After 50 hours a week of being around people. I'm burnt out with people 

 

[Kasumi63]

Yes, I know the feeling. I've had trouble with dating, too. Actually, I just broke up with my boyfriend, and even though, I'd love to have a boyfriend, the whole process isn't very encouraging. On top of being an older transgender woman, I live in Japan, where people are not as accepting. Thank you for the advice about joining groups. That's been tough with COVID-19, so hopefully things will change soon. I think it's okay to take a break from dating, too, though. You'll probably feel differently later, so why rush?

[Red_Lauren.]

On 1/29/2023 at 7:28 PM, Kasumi63 said:

Yes, I know the feeling. I've had trouble with dating, too. Actually, I just broke up with my boyfriend, and even though, I'd love to have a boyfriend, the whole process isn't very encouraging. On top of being an older transgender woman, I live in Japan, where people are not as accepting. Thank you for the advice about joining groups. That's been tough with COVID-19, so hopefully things will change soon. I think it's okay to take a break from dating, too, though. You'll probably feel differently later, so why rush?

For me as a 37 year old trans woman its not easy either, and I pass 95% of the time. To even cis woman. I live in a small town of about 50k people. Most of which is very conservative thinking. I dont feel scared here. Small towns or cities are my thing. I'm honestly more comfortable here then in larger ones. 

 

After I posted this topic. A woman reached out to me on a dating app. We are going out Sunday. I don't know how I feel about if yet, but so far she seems cool, and Intresting.