Hello from the land of Hobbits

[Ashley A]

Hello everyone.

 

I'm would like to known as Ashley

 

Even typing an intro while still being anonymous I'm finding difficult.

 

Thinking about recent thoughts is confusing, but looking back on the last 40 years at key points is painful now.

I started to type the events of my life but that's in the past I can't change those outcomes.

 

About 18 months ago I had breakdown and the day I got to see my GP I had intended to come out, but I chickened out and I was put on anti depression meds. I have spent the last 5 months winging slowly off the meds until last week when once again these feelings have resurfaced and I had another breakdown.

this last week i have been watching some of the inspiring women who have started their journey on YouTube and reading what health services are available to Kiwi's.

https://www.ccdhb.org.nz/our-services/a-to-z-of-our-services/gender-affirming-services/gender-affirming-hormone-therapy-gaht/

 

Now for first time not only am I admitting to myself but to others. I don't have to be envious of the women I interact with everyday.

 

 

 

[VickySGV]

Welcome to the Forums.  You are not alone in what you describe here.  I too was put on powerful anti-anxiety drugs WHEN I came out to my GP instead of sending me to Behavioral Health help.  It becomes easier to speak about it each time you do write or talk about it, especially someplace where you are fully accepted as you are here with us. 

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Ashley.  Welcome!

 

What an auspicious day to join the forum: International Women's Day! 

 

I know that this stage of your journey is difficult and confusing, but even just signing up on Trans Pulse is a big step forward.  You can ask questions, vent, try out ideas, whatever you need to move forward.  I would encourage you to open up to your health care professionals.  In particular most of us find that talking to a qualified gender therapist is extremely helpful when it comes to figuring out your goals and how to achieve them.

 

Regards,

Kathy

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Ashley,

 

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

[Charlize]

Welcome dear.  Finding comfort in myself took such a long time.  Vicky is quite right.  Writing about myself here, despite my fears, has helped me immensely.  We do our best to keep this space secure.  Over time my fear has gone and i live my life openly and honestly.  I never could;ld have done that without the steps i took here.

You are not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[April Marie]

Welcome, Ashley! Great advice for you above from women who have so much experience to share about their journeys. Like you, I'm just at the beginning and truly understand the emotional struggles - finding a qualified therapist to help you sort through the emotions and plan a path forward will help greatly.

 

Enjoy your time here among people who understand and care.

[Ashley0616]

Hi Ashley! It's a difficult process to go through even just coming out because you know who really loves you and accepts you for who you are. Hugs!