Drivers License Renewal Time

[MirandaB]

I have yet to do anything to trans what the government says my official legal gender is. 

 

Just got my driver's license renewal form in the mail. Here in Blue Jersey it's easy to switch, with one additional form, as long as you aren't changing your name, but wondering what people's take is on this.

 

I am too old to get 'carded' and as yet you don't have to show an ID to get into a public bathroom, so what are the benefits of having one's proper gender on such a thing other than the validation one might feel?

 

Of course I'm lazy and can renew the license for free without going into the MVC office (what many states call the DMV) which I'm wondering if I'd have to do to change that M to an F. 

[Charlize]

I went to the DMV in Flemington when i got my first picture drivers license after going full time.  The lady there was so sweet.  After taking my picture she asked if i wanted the old picture.  Her big smile was so accepting.  I have found that it's great to have an id as myself.  While i'm not sure it also seems that when i was a bit over the speed limit my smile and old lady license got me off the hook.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[KathyLauren]

I had that dilemma for a couple of years.  I wanted to have all my ID match my identity.  I am not sure why it was so important; perhaps I foresaw the persecution happening now in the US and wanted to be prepared for when it would inevitably start here.

 

Changing my name was easy, and I had that done within a few months of going full-time.  But a procedural oversight in the regulations prevented me from officially changing my gender.  So, for two years, I had a driver's license with a half-decent (for a DL 😉) picture of me, my name as Kathleen Lauren ______, and "Sex: M"!  Argh!

 

I actually got pulled over for random spot checks twice during that time.  In both cases, the cop looked at my license, but didn't say anything, just wished me a good day. 

 

But I really didn't like having to worry about that.  So when they eventually changed the regulations, making it possible for me to change my gender officially, I was near the front of the line.  (The serial number on my gender change document is less than 20!)

 

My main concern was to have nothing in my possession that would indicate that I ever was considered male.  Call me paranoid, but I do think they will eventually be out to get us, even here.  Having all my documentation updated means that someone would have to a very deep dive in some very obscure archives to find evidence of my transition.  Other than my ugly mug, of course, but that is not definitive.

[Ivy]

My legal name change went through last year.  After that I was required to change my ID.  But once I had the court order, the name change was routine.  Getting the court order was the hard part.  It didn't address gender although my name was obviously a female one.

The gender marker (DL) here was surprisingly easy.  Just a short form with my VA therapist signing off on it.  I did the name and gender change at the same time.  I also did the SS at the same time since in NC they're kinda linked.  SS gender was simply showing my new ID with "F" on it.

The worst part is the DL picture.  They insisted on me uncovering my very bald-on-top head.  

 

It was important to me to have my real name & gender on my ID,. (although now that they're taking names maybe it wasn't such a good idea)  There's no way to go back into the closet now -- not that I would want to.

 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

I haven't changed anything legally or on my DL.  My appearance is androgynous enough that it doesn't matter to me.  While my state is not very friendly, no medical documents are required to change gender here.  you can choose "X" instead of "M" or "F."  Even a name change is cheap, as long as you don't have college degrees or advanced certifications to worry about. 

 

Based on those things, I'm assuming that if I went through the legal name change process, the DMV wouldn't give me any trouble at all.  However, since the DMV is in my tiny county where everybody knows everybody, that would start the gossip chain going.  🙄 

[MirandaB]

I think I'm shifting from 'why bother' to 'why not'. It would be something to show to people who think it's just a whim or a momentary lapse in judgment or whatever. 

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, RhondaS said:

It would be something to show to people who think it's just a whim or a momentary lapse in judgment or whatever. 

This.   We don't do it on a whim. 

It's kinda weird how people think transitioning is like changing your socks or something.  There is a lot involved that isn't obvious from the outside.  Deciding to make that move can be a struggle.

[Marcie Jensen]

44 minutes ago, Ivy said:

This.   We don't do it on a whim. 

It's kinda weird how people think transitioning is like changing your socks or something.  There is a lot involved that isn't obvious from the outside.  Deciding to make that move can be a struggle.

AMEN! We don'r do this on a whim. VERY well put, Ivy.

[MirandaB]

It would also be nice if the effects of HRT were so overwhelming that the idea of having a M on a government issued ID would look weirder than it does. 

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, RhondaS said:

the idea of having a M on a government issued ID would look weirder than it does. 

Nothing we could do will ever be enough for some people.

[Marcie Jensen]

Very well said, Hannah.

[MirandaB]

Oh, my update is I'm going in Monday hoping to lose an M and gain an F. Here now you have to reserve a spot to get a license in person. 

[MirandaB]

Cost me about an hour and a half of my life that I wouldn't have dedicated to the process otherwise. But now I know I can take a really bad ID photo in both genders! Oh how i wish they'd let you submit a selfie. 

[missyjo]

ladies 

congratulations to those who have changed yours. I agree, this is no whim n we are being attacked by politicians. even at my early stages here I'm living as missy most of time n worry a stop by police or some encounter like that could get very ugly for me quickly. that's high on my list to avoid. plus  as said..it verifies our journey. hugs to all. 

[MirandaB]

It arrived today, now the most disturbing part is the masculine middle name, oh well, baby steps. 

[missyjo]

RhondaS,

congratulations dear. I'm envious, but my turn will come.

a good friend suggested baby steps are always good when making major changes. 

also, i wonder why you didn't change the middle name too..but that's your business dear. I'm planning on changing it all to feminized names, and offered siblings ill change my last name too if you wish..if my journey embarrasses you then I'll change last name n you can tell people whatever you like about your missing brother. it hardly matters anymore, but I have an attitude dear, so make your choices wisely, not with attitude like I have lately.

hugs to all you lovelies.

[MirandaB]

I didn't change any of my name yet, that's a different process where you get a court order, the gender swap was just something I did since it was time to renew the license. 

[Ivy]

4 hours ago, RhondaS said:

the gender swap was just something I did since it was time to renew the license.

It's way easier to do that here in NC (at this time) than to change your name.

 

I did both at the same time.  Name is completely different.  Last name, the same, but slight tweak to the spelling.

On the down side, it probably put me on another list somewhere.

[missyjo]

RhondaS

I didn't legally change anything yet. just made up missy information n adopted her as my identity. blush. is that bad? years ago I made up a different F identity to get shipments of girls clothes "for my friend." laughs. even got her a credit card but banks seem stricter today.  Still happy for you n a tad envious. hugs n smiles 😃 

[Charlize]

We get through this paperwork one bit at a time.  It sounds as if you are making great steps Rhonda.  I got out of the big special license rental during Covid.  I'm sure i'll have to get a new picture and this old gal is getting older.  I like my old picture.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Ivy]

I had to get FBI'ed for my name change.  The deputy had to list "Jandi" which I had been using, as an "alias" on the forms.  (I didn't want that as my real name because of reasons)  

Apparently you can use an alias for a lot of stuff.  I always thought of an "alias" as some kind of criminal thing.  LOL

[MirandaB]

10 hours ago, Charlize said:

I'm sure i'll have to get a new picture and this old gal is getting older.  I like my old picture.

 

 

Seems the way I did it is the only way to get a new picture in NJ, they're actually encouraging you to do it online so they just use the old picture, so it seems if you like your picture you get to keep it. I wanted to change the gender and get a pic where i didn't have a crew cut

[Ivy]

50 minutes ago, RhondaS said:

they're actually encouraging you to do it online so they just use the old picture

They have that here in NC also (by mail).  My picture is awful.  But since my license is class B, I can't do it by mail.  It's due to be renewed soon.  Last time they made the pix, they insisted on uncovering my mostly bald head.  I'm hoping I can get away with my wig this time.