Why am I crying?

[LaurenA]

Here I sit with everything I've wanted about to happen.  I have an orchiectomy scheduled and a consultation for FFS as well.  So why am I sitting here listening to Rush crying my eyes out.

[Charlize]

I am not surprised dear.  I remember being very emotional as i faced what is an irreversible decision.  I would go back over the sessions with my therapist and feel better about my decision.  It is your path but i can say that i don't regret my decision.  Time has helped me find peace but the whole process of transition is as much an emotional process as a physical one;  perhaps even more emotional!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[KathyLauren]

Transition is an inherently emotional time.  I remember sitting in the cab on my way home from the airport after my GCS, and crying my eyes out.  After more than sixty years, I was finally myself!  The tears were mostly relief, but they were unstoppable.

 

Tears don't have to indicate sadness.  They can be associated with any strong emotion.  They mean that you are feeling.  You are being real.

[LaurenA]

@Charlize Thanks, because it didn't make any sence to me.  I should be happy, very happy, since what I haves going to happen after all these years is what I've always wanted.  I wish there was someone here I could get a hug from.

[LaurenA]

Yesterday I had to tell someone I thought as my best friend that talking to him did nothing but make me depressed.  He just doesn't understand why I am going through this.  I'm afraid all I can do is tell him to get lost.

[Ivy]

I have come to the conclusion that cis people cannot understand this.  But they can still certainly be allies.

[Betty K]

Hi @LaurenA, I haven’t had any surgeries but I certainly cry a lot since starting HRT. Partly, this is obviously an effect of estrogen, but partly it is something far deeper. It’s a paradox: the happier I feel about who and where I am now, the sadder I feel about everything that went before. The more determined I am to continue down this road, the more I wish I’d started long before. So, while plenty of times I cry for joy, I cry a LOT about regret.

[Lexi C]

I think Betty said the best,

I start TS when was 53. I am 59 now and I am fully transitioned . All i am mess is my Bottom Surgery( which i postponed 4 times) and everytime i get close to BTS i freak out and beginning cry. All i can think about is how late i start my TS and how old i am getting and that image i had in my head off a beautiful woman beginnings to vanish. 

I wish i could give you a hug because it would of been nice to have gone one when i was going it,

Much lv

 

[Nicole D]

Hi @LaurenA, the way I look at it, it's absence of crying that you should worry about. That would mean you're repressing emotions. Crying means you're in touch with yourself. I've also been crying a lot lately, and it feels good to be letting it out. For so many years I've been repressing my very self and not even realized it.

BTW if I had to listen to Rush I would cry too😜. Joking, I actually like Rush.

Here's a virtual hug🤗

Nicole