want to start but mom...any suggestions girls?

[missyjo]

ladies,

I'm soon to start my therapy n hope to soon be offered hrt. here's the problem. 1 I don't wish to wait any longer. besides it's 2 years of hrt before I can get breast implants. BUT my agreement with siblings was to not tell my 86 year old mom (I suspect someone mentioned the topic to her because shortly after I came out to siblings mom used the word trans in a sentence without prompting. 2 years ago she didn't understand why a girls boyfriend had a girls name...psst she was a lesbian mom, so I suspect some brought it up to her privately..but it's still off limits to me). 

 

how do I start hormones n move forward without mom knowing. ?

 

thank you girls.

missy

[Carolyn Marie]

@missyjo, I don't know your family dynamics or all the reasons why you don't want to tell her.  That said, why not just tell her?  Be as gentle and careful as you need to be, but if you're honest with her it will relieve you of the need to lie or pretend or hide your truth.  You are entitled to make decisions for yourself, to be true to your nature and shouldn't need your mother's permission at this point in your life.

 

Your siblings shouldn't be controlling your life, either, but again I don't know your family issues. You can, of course, start HRT without telling your mother; it will be a year or more before should should notice anything at all, and longer if you cover up and don't wear makeup, etc.  But why hide at this point?

 

Carolyn Marie

[missyjo]

Carolyn

hi  sweetie. mom is older n not healthy. we all agree that she won't hear this is me, not how you raised me. she will spend her time fretting about what she did wrong n feel guilty that I'm screwed up because of her. that's why to hide it, I guess. she's old school 

..unconsciously the 1st borne son, not me, is the new patriarch. shrugs. 

but yes, it would be so much easier to not hide..like now I'm getting my ears pierced this week n will have to hide them until I recover enough to take them out to visit her. and for Easter I have cute new dress or pants outfit I'm wearing to church..but have to find something butch to wear to see her. ugh. 

..waste, huh?

love you. thanks

[Charlize]

    There are certainly times when being honest will hurt others for little or no reason.  I remember dressing in a suit to attend a relatives funeral.  I had been full time for some time but as many in the family hadn't heard yet i backed off in respect.  

    By the way no-one at the ceremony seemed to notice the piercings and the studs that i had recently had done.

   I also know some folks who wish they had had a chance to come out to parents who had died.

The decision is yours.  Often that decision is a difficult one to make.

Enjoy your Easter outfit!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

[missyjo]

hi Charlize,

thank you . mom is older, n according to her  I'm an idiot with no right to my own opinion about my own life. she still repeatedly says I do or don't like that ..like your jacket, she will n did hammer home-as in every visit I saw her worked it into conversation.   ...often...would passive aggressive complain..I like your jacket I just , if it was me, and you do what you want cause I'm just your mother, so what do I know .in true martyrdom manner...until I bought a new one n when she asked told her, the damn truth is I got sick  of hearing you bitch about it...so I bought another one..oh, but red? don't even start...

 

..or I get my hair colored..today for the umpteenth time, I don't know why you don't let it go gray..because I don't want it gray..but I like it gray..but I dont..oh I'm just your mother..hush..you know they say after a certain age, you should lighten your hair...listen, I don't know who they are or give a care what they say about my hair that they have not seen n don't contribute to...I want it dark...still..n next week I'll feel the same so tell they to screw off.

 

yes it gets annoying n I lose my patience with her..but in my mind..she's begging for it by not accepting the answer I've given 400 times..oh well

 

that's good news on the piercings

 

sorry I ranted, she does that to me with her persistent nagging..she hears me speak but disregards my words...it's fun, yeah.

 

thanks girls

 

enjoy the holiday 

.hugs

missy

[missyjo]

update 

 

ok got my ears pierced on 11th n the store said keep them in at least 3 weeks, n clean m turn them. I took them out after 2.3 weeks n 3 were hard to get in..n 4th woukd not go in..hole had closedd up in the inside...so I had to have it re-piercrd

ugh