Dressing up for a formal event?

[awkward-yet-sweet]

Every year, our county's "gentry" have a dinner and a ball around Independence Day.  I haven't gone before, but I think this year I would like to.  My husband attends, as all of the members of the Defense Force, law enforcement, and county administration are invited and can bring a guest.  My GF has usually gone, but finds it stressful.  So my husband is bringing another partner, and my sister is bringing me.  I want to enjoy the food, but I also want to be there for my partner, as she could need some assistance if a medical issue arises.  

 

So, a double fashion question: For my partner...what options might she have to cover scars on her hand and arm?  She always wears gloves in public to conceal two missing fingers....does anybody wear long-sleeved dresses and gloves anymore?  Or would that be oddly 1800's?

 

And then there's me... Dressing male won't work too well.  But I can't exactly wear a dress and be a lady either.  I'm not aware of any particularly androgynous choices, although my GF managed to wear a Chinese silk outfit that allowed her to avoid wearing a dress. 

 

Since my husband holds a senior rank and my sister works as his aide, what I wear will be noticed.  My partner will be noticed too, and she's very beautiful.  I really want to help her enjoy the occasion and be comfortable.  Suggestions for us?

[Dillon]

For the gloves, I say go for it. Women still wear them sometimes and color can emphasize the contemporary look. White cotton would look out of date, but colors or any shade of brown or grey in a satiny material would look modern.

I searched women's dressy jumpsuits on Amazon to see if these are still available generally. They are. If you get one that's dressy with wide legs, it will look as formal as a dress but wear like pants. Another option is pallazo (not sure about the spelling) pants, which are very wide leg and some are in formal fabrics.

[Dillon]

On the long sleeves: there are some dress styles that are made with two layers of fabric, the top layer being almost but not quite sheer. I think a fabric often used for the top layer is georgette, but I'm not sure. There are other sheer fabrics too. A color that distracts from skin tones might make the color of scars unnoticeable through the sheer sleeves. She would have to experiment. I'm not positive this would work, but I think it's possible. My thinking about sheer fabric is that it looks like a style, specifically a dressy style, not an attempt to be prim and cover the arms.

[Dillon]

Sorry for a third post! What I mean about the sheer style is that the body of the dress is done in both layers (opaque fabric layer under a sheer fabric layer) but the arms are often done in only the sheer fabric.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

@Dillon Thanks for the suggestions!  

 

Have you been anyone using sheer material but with a lacy pattern woven in it?  That might work...  My partner also kind of wants a collar with the dress, as the scars go up her neck as well.  Not sure how to do that, although her wedding dress could be a kind of pattern to work from.  

 

My GF is great with a sewing machine, so we're leaning towards making something rather than buying outright.  (That's why we're getting started now)

 

Also, are bold colors in fashion these days?  I'm thinking she would look good in red.  

[Dillon]

I have a limited amount of experience to draw from, and none current. I have to start with that disclaimer. That said, when I was looking for lace fabric to make curtains, there was a lot of it for clothing, that is, it was a little stretchy and good for dresses but not for curtains. As I remember, some of the lace was dense enough that it might be enough to block any detail on skin. I came across that by searching on etsy, and I think I used lace fabric in the search. I don't remember seeing sheer material anywhere with a lace pattern, but it sounds possible. 

 

I don't follow fashion, so I can't say if red is in style now. But it has always seemed to me that there are three color categories, red, black, and pastel, that are subject to regional views. For example, here in New York City, red and black are always in fashion and always a safe choice, but pastels seem to usually be out of fashion (just as an example; I know you didn't ask about pastels and black). Red might be touchy in some regions, or not. (I remember black getting negative reactions outside the city awhile back, and it's sad that anyone would judge, but it happens.) I know that's not very helpful. I think what I mean is to make sure red is in style locally before you choose it. Your event is close to Independence Day, so that imo works in favor of red.

[Dillon]

Collars. I knew I forgot something. There is a type of collar used in women's shirts and dresses. I don't know what it's called, but it's similar to a "mandarin collar" but doesn't open/button in front. It buttons on the side of the collar or in the back. I had a blouse like that in satin, and it's a nice style. It looks dressy and with the right fabric is very feminine. A regular mandarin collar also works on dresses.

Another idea is to have a sleeveless dress with a light jacket that has a collar. If you feel a jacket looks too heavy for summer, a bolero length or crop length (like at the waist or an inch or so above the waist) is used in summer. 

[GlitchedSalvation]

Normally, dress pants, a collared shirt and a waistcoat work, not a full suit but still quite formal. Of course, if you go for black you might want to add a soft grey in to make sure you don't look like you're going to a funeral, unless it's your style.

[Dillon]

2 hours ago, GlitchedSalvation said:

dress pants, a collared shirt and a waistcoat work

This is a great look. I've always liked how well it looks for gender neutral, and it can be quite dressy.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

Well, the men attending will be wearing suits.  Except for law enforcement and defense, who will be in dress uniforms.  Sheriff's office will be wearing tan/brown, Defense in gray. 

 

I'm thinking of going with black or at least a dark gray.  Always fashionable, right?  Since the Defense dress uniform has a "mandarin" collar (similar to the Confederate gray uniform from 150 years ago), I'm thinking that perhaps a similar look might work for me.  It removes the question of "men's tie, women's tie, or no tie."  Do you think that might work for a relatively androgynous look? 

 

I've thought of having perhaps a bit of color to accent what I wear.  I have black hair and pale skin, so a tiny bit of color could go a long ways.  But what color?  Red to match my partner's dress and the sash my husband has under his pistol belt?  Gold to match the buttons/accents on my sister's uniform?  Or green to match my eyes? 

 

 

[GlitchedSalvation]

15 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

Well, the men attending will be wearing suits.  Except for law enforcement and defense, who will be in dress uniforms.  Sheriff's office will be wearing tan/brown, Defense in gray. 

 

I'm thinking of going with black or at least a dark gray.  Always fashionable, right?  Since the Defense dress uniform has a "mandarin" collar (similar to the Confederate gray uniform from 150 years ago), I'm thinking that perhaps a similar look might work for me.  It removes the question of "men's tie, women's tie, or no tie."  Do you think that might work for a relatively androgynous look? 

 

I've thought of having perhaps a bit of color to accent what I wear.  I have black hair and pale skin, so a tiny bit of color could go a long ways.  But what color?  Red to match my partner's dress and the sash my husband has under his pistol belt?  Gold to match the buttons/accents on my sister's uniform?  Or green to match my eyes? 

 

 

A pop of color would make a great statement, and red would have a great meaning, but in the end it's all up to you.

[Dillon]

15 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

  But what color?

What I learned from the season technique for complementing someone's coloring: Black hair and pale skin would look vibrant with red but dull with gold. Green could go either way, not the strongest color for that skin/hair but great for highlighting eye color. FWIW. It's just one technique.

What I used to do was hold clothing or fabric under my face, like draped over my clothing so I only see the color i am testing (obvs in front of a mirror). Then the difference in what each color does to your face is really amazing. 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

@Dillon I might have to try the mirror thing, although with a freshly broken ankle I'll need a bit of help now.  I'm not sure why gold might make me look a bit dull, but I'll have to check that out for myself and see what it does. 

[GlitchedSalvation]

2 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

not sure why gold might make me look a bit dull,

The gold would make your skin look papery, almost translucent in comparison, and make the darkness of your hair look out of place.

[Dillon]

1 minute ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

with a freshly broken ankle I'll need a bit of help now

Wow! I hope you heal well. 

One thing about color is that this is for something near your face, like a shirt or collar. If it is not near your face, it doesn't matter. You might find the mirror thing interesting. I was very surprised when I tried it. I don't really follow that color thing anymore, even though it really makes a difference in how I look. I'm not sure I want to draw attention anyway.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

8 minutes ago, GlitchedSalvation said:

The gold would make your skin look papery, almost translucent in comparison, and make the darkness of your hair look out of place.

OK, that makes a certain amount of sense.  So gold is perhaps a better color for my partners who have darker skin? 

 

@Dillon Yes, I'm thinking the color will be near my face.  Probably a vibrant colored shirt under my jacket, with just a bit of color showing at the collar and cuffs, and perhaps a small matching pocket square or pin.  Leaning toward red at this point, although I still like the thought of emerald green. 

 

For my partner, I'm still thinking a red dress would work.  Her skin is pale although a bit darker than mine, and her hair is a sort of auburn with blonde highlights.  She's just SO cute!  I really want her to feel good about this and be confident.