Gynecologist Exam, What??

[Guest Neuro]

I wrote a while back I had to see a gynecologist in the future because that horrible time of the month was awful on my body, in fact; this last time it was so bad I couldn't get out of bed for three days and barely eat anything. The only thing that helped the pain was my mothers antiseziure migraine pain medication--tranquilizers!!! I don't want to take something so strong.

Turns out, that day in the future is this tuesday! NUUUUUUU!!!!!!! I looked up "What To Expect" on the internet--I can't BELIEVE it!!! I'm horrified, nauseated, disgusted, appalled etc. etc.

That's a part of my disgusting body I hate the most, and it's a whole session of inserting foreign objects into it and touching it and.... it makes me want to vomit! I don't know if I can do it without screaming, how embarrassing would that be? God.

Has anyone been there before, and knows if it is as awful and uncomfortable as it sounds?

Is there any way I can inform the nurse or doctor that I am... well, transgender or a guy or whatever in a way that will let them know I am going to be horribly scarred for life by this XD;;;;;; what do I even say??! They'll think I'm nuts!!!

I feel awful saying how much I hate my genetalia because of all the girls on here who would kill for it--but just thinking about me having it makes me wanna hang myself, it disgusts me and I would seriously trade with ANYONE who wants it. God. If only, huh. What do I do.

But, good news though. My therapist called me "Michael" yesterday. I was so happy I could spew a rainbow, I tell you! She was the first person outside Tha Webz to call me my name. So I went to Wendy's and ordered a cheeseburger, while my mom's head was turned they asked for my name for receipt and I told them "Michael." they didn't think anything of it, ha!

Plz halp ;A; --Michael

[Sally]

Michael,

While it is not a pleasant propsotition for anyone, it will not be as bad as you think, just keep reminding yourself that this is temporary.

For men the prostate exam is not pleasant but not nearly as bad for men who don't know that they are supposed to be women.

That's the real problem for you is that it doesn't seem like you should ever have to do this but it is a part of being trans and you will have to - oh no, I just realized where that sentence was heading and I couldn't say that in a serious post - you have to do this!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Chris_421]

Hey Neuro,

I've had this check up done about 3 times. The first time was fine, the next two...not so much. It was because I wasn't relaxed, and was extremely uncomfortable. The first time only one person was present (the doctor) because it was a female doctor. The next there was an extra person present because my general practitioner is male.

Here's my tips to you:

Tell them you are trans, and uncomfortable about your body. They also have different sizes available of what they use (have no idea what it's called right now, I probably do know) so ask for them to use the smallest. It doesn't take long for them to do what they need..maybe 2-3 minutes, maybe not even.

And remember, if it hurts, tell them! Personally I never did, but I never asked for the smaller size or said it hurt.

[Guest Leigh]

yeah. honestly it never really bothered me.....it's not as bad as you think it's gonna be....

just a little cold...............

but, yeah, just think happy thoughts and try to go some place else in your mind...don't get worked up over it.

congrats on the therapist thing...

peace&love

leigh

[Guest MrAwesome]

I guess you just don't have my fighting spirit ;( If it were me I'd claw scratch and bite and hurt people to avoid getting it done. I'd cut my good arm off 1st! I got hypothetical testicles and not afraid to use them lol so if you don't want to go badly enough, don't go. You can deal with the pain. (Well my thinking anyway) and btw, my mom was seeing her Gyno, and the nurse lectured her while she was in denial about trans stuff. So Tell them, and don't hold back. Just tell them straight out. Why act ashamed? I am a Transsexual Man, And if you don't like it you can shove it up were the sun don't shine! XD

Well that's my thought on the subject, now to say what everyone else might want to hear...

Michael it will be alright, tell the Dr when he/she comes to check you out that you are trans and that this is absolutely horrifying to you.... okay I can't even do this the mere thought of having it done makes me wanna cry, puke, and flip out, and hide in shame... >.> I can't tell a fellow FTM it's gonna be okay. I never had it done, and won't till I have to for a hysto. I'll travel across the country if I have to to get T without one! XD I think I'd be more comfy if I had a Micro penis, and was covered in hair...

[Guest Leah1026]

Here's my tips to you:

Tell them you are trans, and uncomfortable about your body. They also have different sizes available of what they use (have no idea what it's called right now, I probably do know) so ask for them to use the smallest. It doesn't take long for them to do what they need..maybe 2-3 minutes, maybe not even.

It's called a speculum. They used to be made of stainless steel and could be cold if they didn't warm them up. Today almost all doctors uses disposable plastic ones. And yes, they come in different sizes.

[Guest Eth]

Well... Maybe you could try treating it like a dentist appointment? I know it's not the same, but, I mean the concept of closing your eyes and thinking about something else while it's happening.

Like Chris said- being calm is key.

And by the way... I emphasised a lot with you while reading that and can completely understand hating one's own genitalia ... So yeah. Sorry you have to go through this X_X

Good luck oniichan,

愛 Eth

[Guest Justme]

Hey Michael. As others have mentioned, the exam isn't that bad. Do tell your doctor that you are trans and just ask them to take things slow and let you know what they are doing. Then just keep taking deep relaxing breaths. It does'nt last long. I feel the same as you when it comes to my genitalia. It disgusts me. Not sure if you are on T, but if you are, it is very important to get the exam done. Only way out of it....is not being sexually active. Where I have been celibate for sooooo LOOOONG....I no longer need to go through that. Guess that's one good thing about celibacy.

[Guest Justme]

Hey Michael. Just to add to my last post. My primary doctor is trans friendly, and back when I used to have to have the exam done, one thing she would always tell me is.....if at any time I wanted her to stop, that she would stop immediatly. Just knowing I had that option available. helped me to relax and get the exam done. Once you tell your doctor you are trans.....if they have no problem with that....maybe you could tell them you are really nervous and ask them if they will stop if you need to. Maybe that will work for you also. Just having that option available so you can relax.

[Guest 1Char]

I wrote a while back I had to see a gynecologist in the future because that horrible time of the month was awful on my body, in fact; this last time it was so bad I couldn't get out of bed for three days and barely eat anything. The only thing that helped the pain was my mothers antiseziure migraine pain medication--tranquilizers!!! I don't want to take something so strong.

Turns out, that day in the future is this tuesday! NUUUUUUU!!!!!!! I looked up "What To Expect" on the internet--I can't BELIEVE it!!! I'm horrified, nauseated, disgusted, appalled etc. etc.

That's a part of my disgusting body I hate the most, and it's a whole session of inserting foreign objects into it and touching it and.... it makes me want to vomit! I don't know if I can do it without screaming, how embarrassing would that be? God.

Has anyone been there before, and knows if it is as awful and uncomfortable as it sounds?

Is there any way I can inform the nurse or doctor that I am... well, transgender or a guy or whatever in a way that will let them know I am going to be horribly scarred for life by this XD;;;;;; what do I even say??! They'll think I'm nuts!!!

I feel awful saying how much I hate my genetalia because of all the girls on here who would kill for it--but just thinking about me having it makes me wanna hang myself, it disgusts me and I would seriously trade with ANYONE who wants it. God. If only, huh. What do I do.

But, good news though. My therapist called me "Michael" yesterday. I was so happy I could spew a rainbow, I tell you! She was the first person outside Tha Webz to call me my name. So I went to Wendy's and ordered a cheeseburger, while my mom's head was turned they asked for my name for receipt and I told them "Michael." they didn't think anything of it, ha!

Plz halp ;A; --Michael

I just wanna say don't feel awful about hating ur stuff between ur legs!! I feel the same way about my dangly bits! The only time I would even want to see that thing is when it is on my boyfriend not mine! I no want! Ik how u feel! A lot of us do obviously! XD best of luck! And I hear it is quite cold.

[Guest Martin]

I'm sorry. I always avoided getting one because of my dysphoria. Now I kinda regret that because I could probably gotten my hysto covered if I had gone. I was in a LOT of pain, so there was probably a physical problem. If you do eventually want a hysto, maybe reframe it in terms of one more step towards that surgery? If you have a decent doctor, you can also tell him/her/hir to use terms you are more comfortable with. Maybe "manhole" or "extra hole" or something? Also, you can ask for some medication to calm you down. When I got my last filling, I got some Valium. Otherwise I would have freaked out. Maybe ask for that or something similar? I've heard that some people take the rest of the day off and do something fun. I've heard it helps them.

Good luck. I hope this goes better than you expect.

[Guest Joe Cool]

Hey Michael,

I would strongly suggest telling your doctor you are trans. They take that into account when they are doing the exam and making sure you are as comfortable and relaxed as possible. That makes a big difference in how you experience the exam. They usually talk you through it telling you what they are going to do so you are not surprised. They also try to get it over as quick as possible for you. The exam is usually pretty quick but it feels longer when you are going through it.

I would suggest telling them everything about the pain and problems you have during that time for you. They will then document all that in your chart and it builds your case for chronic pain. In the future if you want or plan to get a hysterectomy then chronic pain is usually grounds for insurance to cover the procedure

Congrats on the therapist! and Wendy's! What guy doesn't want to hear his name called before he grabs his burger! Stay strong and let us know how it goes!

Joe

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Michael, I'm sorry you have to get an exam. I put off going until I was 30 because of my dysphoria. Back in the day I didn't know my problem was called dysphoria, but I had all those same feelings you were having. Anyway, they wouldn't give me a prescription for T unless I got a lower exam...so I did it. Although lower exams are horrible, they are necessary. For one thing, cancer is not cool. I had a friend pass away from cancer recently. YOU DO NOT WANT CANCER. The bad part of the exam takes 2 minutes or less usually, so I figure it is a small price to pay for my continued good health.

Keep in mind that no one likes this sort of thing. Biomen have to get their prostates checked. EVERYONE eventually has to get their rear end checked. That stuff isn't fun either.

Maybe just pretend that this is your prostate exam?

I coped with my exam by thinking about something else while it was happening. I also timed it...so I was concentrating on that and not what was going on. The clinic I went to takes care of a lot of transguys, so they were super nice. They called it a lower exam...not the *ick* other thing and didn't use any girl words. Also, they used a child sized speculum...which is what you should ask for. Even though asking is embarassing, it is better than the alternative.

Most definitely tell your doctor about being trans. If you aren't comfortable doing that, then at least tell them this is your first exam and that you are very anxious about it. Anxiety meds are good too. They take the edge off.

[Guest Neuro]

Phew, thank you for the advice everyone. Hopefully I won't have to go back for a loooonnnggg time after that... (does not plan on being sexually active with a womans body like this anyway).

Honestly, if there is something very wrong and I have to have a hysto I'd be over the roof happy XD; but... I do not want it to be cancer ORZ too many people in my family die from that sniff sob.

But, I am hoping that my mom won't wanna be in the room. That's bat**** crazy hunh. I'm 18 after all, I don't want to talk to a doctor with her there. When you go for the exam, family is not allowed right?? That's the only way I'll be able to explain to them I'm trans and uncomfortable with the whole deal. If my mom heard, she'd go "Oh stop it, she's just embarrassed." And then give them her version of my life story.

[Sally]

Michael,

Those exams are supposed to be private but you could ask your mother to come in - if you don't she isn't supposed to be there.

Mothers always seem to have a different life story for their children and somehow it never really matches.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Justme]

Hey Michael. You are of age. Your mom does'nt have to be there with you. Also, when you tell the Doctor you are trans...if they have a hard time with that...you do have the right to walk away and find another doctor. I understand this exam stuff is hard....but it is a good thing to do as an initial precaution. You need to take care of the physical stuff in order to proceed. And you can tell your Mom to stay in the waiting room. You can do this bud! I believe in you.

[jessica_282]

My heart goes out to you. Fear is a great power that can make things alot worse than they really are.

As I read the other posts, I concur that telling the doc that you are trans would be a good idea, at least the doc would know and knowing is better than not.

The procedure will not last that long and will be over before you know it.

Like you I am always having second thoughts of having done anything so exploratory or evasive.

I just don't feel that comfortable or trusting of any doctor yet. Even the doc I picked out to be my doc. (who knows I am trans).

But none the less, be strong and this too will pass. (hugs)

Jessica Hayden

[Guest Martin]

You have the right to ask for your mother to be there, but you ALSO have the right to say you don't want your mom there since you're 18. Maybe mention this to her beforehand so there isn't a "scene" which might make things more triggering for you. Just do it respectfully.

[Guest _Michael]

I've got my first one coming up in 3 weeks, and I'm dreading it too - just remember, it's a small price to pay to get the T prescription.

[Guest Sydney_W]

Wow, weird timing, I had my first one two days ago.

The exam itself probably lasted a minute or less. I didn't feel that tense while waiting either, probably because 1. I tried to add some humor to the air, cracked some jokes about the robe and stirrups and stuff, and 2. I told them I was trans. The exam itself was somewhat painful because the doctor didn't put lube on the speculum. She said it was because it affects the test results. I'm still not sure if that's right. :/ She was very apologetic when I said it hurt, though, and at least it only lasted for about thirty seconds.

[Guest MrAwesome]

Tell your mom, in a very impolite way, ***************************, that she can't come back with you. >_>

[Sally]

Tell your mom, in a very impolite way, to shove it up her butt, that she can't come back with you. >_>

Lewis,

I'm at a loss to come up with a polite substitute for that one - but if you say it that way, she's coming back with you!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Leigh]

Phew, thank you for the advice everyone. Hopefully I won't have to go back for a loooonnnggg time after that... (does not plan on being sexually active with a womans body like this anyway).

Honestly, if there is something very wrong and I have to have a hysto I'd be over the roof happy XD; but... I do not want it to be cancer ORZ too many people in my family die from that sniff sob.

But, I am hoping that my mom won't wanna be in the room. That's bat**** crazy hunh. I'm 18 after all, I don't want to talk to a doctor with her there. When you go for the exam, family is not allowed right?? That's the only way I'll be able to explain to them I'm trans and uncomfortable with the whole deal. If my mom heard, she'd go "Oh stop it, she's just embarrassed." And then give them her version of my life story.

you should defiantly be able to go in by yourself.

yeah. mos def.....

i wouldn't want my mom in there.......

yeah. yikes.

good luck.

peace&love

leigh

[Guest Jack Solomon]

Phew, thank you for the advice everyone. Hopefully I won't have to go back for a loooonnnggg time after that... (does not plan on being sexually active with a womans body like this anyway).

Honestly, if there is something very wrong and I have to have a hysto I'd be over the roof happy XD; but... I do not want it to be cancer ORZ too many people in my family die from that sniff sob.

But, I am hoping that my mom won't wanna be in the room. That's bat**** crazy hunh. I'm 18 after all, I don't want to talk to a doctor with her there. When you go for the exam, family is not allowed right?? That's the only way I'll be able to explain to them I'm trans and uncomfortable with the whole deal. If my mom heard, she'd go "Oh stop it, she's just embarrassed." And then give them her version of my life story.

I went in for my first exam about two years ago because of some intense lower stomach problems where I wasn't sure where the problem was coming from. The exam should be very private and it looks good to the therapist who writes the letter for T if you've previously had an exam. When I got my T letter last year, I didn't need to get a second exam before being prescribed T because I had already gone through one exam and was not sexually active. Like you, I definately would not be with what I've got now and I always find it insulting when they ask those types of questions.

For the exam, it should be private. If your mother wants to come in with you, pull the "I'm 18" card. You would not want your mom in there if she is the least bit against you being trans or is otherwise unsupportive. Before the exam, the doctor will probably ask some basic but inappropriate questions and you are usually naked from the waist down (with a paper robe/cape halfway covering you) during the actual exam part. Your feet are also in stirrups and you are laying down at an angle during the exam. The doctor should select the smallest speculum she has if you are young and/or thin, especially if you tell her that you are trans. The speculum will probably be very cold for a few seconds if they use a metal one. Depending on your symptoms (why you're coming in to the GYN), the doctor may also perform a manual rectal exam (with her/his hands, typically) to check for any problems like endometriosis from a different angle. Usually, however, they will probably not do this part unless they have a legitimate reason or you have a more thorough doctor. After the exam is over, you may also want to clean up before getting your clothes back on and I highly reccomend that the mother isn't there with you for all of the above reasons.

Personally, I experienced some pain (very brief) and was very uncomfortable even though I had a pretty nice doctor. I reccomend taking a few tylenols about an hour or an hour and a half before the exam. Also, try to calm yourself mentally while laying on the table before the manual part of the exam begins and relax yourself through a couple of deep breaths. Talking to the doctor and distracting yourself that way also helped me slightly. Being very tense may increase the chance of worse discomfort or pain.

The position that you're in is unique to the exam, shall we say. However, it is worth it for getting the T and transition, and it is over quickly. Also, most people vary on how the exam feels for them, and for some people it is less painful or not painful but simply awkward for a few seconds. Personally, I would definately grit my teeth and do the exam again if it meant getting a hysterectomy.

hope this helps,

solomon

[Guest Cal]

The doctors poke around people's genitals all day long. They aren't thinking of you as anything different. It'll be horribly embarrassing of course, but it'll be over in 45 minutes and you can put it out of your mind.