'gen-dar'

[Guest Zenda]

Zufrieden [my satisfied friend] commented in a recent post about how her ‘gen-dar’ detected another trans women who I think came into the place where she works but she didn't approach her…There is this phenomena which I call the “seen but not acknowledged” which seems to be the golden rule when meeting/interacting with stranger trans people and this is especially important amongst those of us who wish to reach or have already reached society’s G.I.R.L [gender identity recognition level].

It’s a known fact trans people pay much closer attention to detail when it comes to scanning other people than most cisgender people…our ‘gen-dar’ tends to be on 24/7.

Even the most ‘passable’ trans person may not ‘pass’ 100% all the time and some cisgender people have better gen-dar than others and at times tend to pay more attention to gender detail-especially if given cause to suspect..

Unless one is OUT and PROUD that is, very open about their transsexual nature and has no desire to hide their past or in some cases have no option but to be OUT most other society blended trans people have no wish to be OUTED in any shape or form in public…In fact I would go so far as to say if possible we tend to avoid each other when out in public.

And there’s a good reason for this…If a there’s a group of women socialising and one happens to be ‘obviously’ trans, cisgender bystanders-strangers will automatically switch on their ‘gen-dar’- paying closer attention to gender details than they normally would and scan the rest of the group for signs of trans-identifiable characteristics...It’s human nature to want to connect the dots.

I read somewhere that young children and teenagers have a very acute gen-dar…If you are not outed by young children or a teenager that means you have ‘past’ with flying colours!

I find the best line of defence for those who are aiming for or have reached society’s G.I.R.L is be totally comfortable with your past life so when you interact in society you are free from anxiety that comes from the fear of being outed.

Anyway; most humans are funny creatures some are ever so polite and even if they have you on their gen-dar they are not going to out you on the spot!

I personally believe I only pass around 85-90% of the time and the other 10-15% I’m just accepted for who I am! [people just can’t be bothered arguing the toss-is she or isn’t she? they give me the benefit of the doubt]

Metta Jendar

[Guest angie]

Hey Lady,

Those are the days i am looking very forward to,total passability.

Will it ever come?I can only hope so anyway.

I doubt that i will ever be OUT AND PROUD.

But i do plan on being active in trans support and politically.

There are women in my support group whom i look up to for their stand.

One is an officer with THE STONEWALL DEMOCRATES.

And another is on the board of the local HRC.(Human Rights Commission) for ya'll Kiwi's.

And Christie Lea also comes to lend support to girls just starting their journey.

Kind of makes one sit and take notice huh.

But when i do become active...i will live in another city 70 miles away.

Active only in this city,not at home.

There,i want to be just a woman.

A cop out/ maybe but much happier and safer for me.

Hugs,

Angie.

Bye the way... I love that GEN DAR phrase.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia ora Angie,

It sounds like you will be onboard the same 'luxury' cruise ship as me...OUT-PROUD but also STEALTH...ops! I'm sure you know what I mean !

Metta Jendar