Why are we doing this? my perspective

[Tilly]

Sorry I meant to say that I stepped into my sister's underwear aged 3. My first memory.

 

* The quote is from W.B.Yeats 

 

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

[Ivy]

4 hours ago, Tilly said:

My first memory is of stepping into my sister's underwear, and feeling not just curiosity or thrill but, more importantly, 'right.'

While I was very interested in girl's clothing, I never tried this.  My mother did once dress me in a dress for Halloween.  It was interesting, I still remember it.  But being raised in a conservative christian environment, I didn't dare cross dress.  It was only years later in my 60's that I gave in and tried it.  That really opened some doors.

And for me it wasn't a sexual thing per se.  Like you said, it just felt right.

For a brief time, I thought I was a crossdresser.  But that didn't last long, and I began to do the research and realized what had been wrong my whole life.  I was scared as heck, but made an appointment.

 

I strongly suspect my mother was taking DES while carrying me, and there is some evidence that it can affect our gender issues.  Unfortunately she passed some years ago.  But I do know that one of my sisters got cancer consistent with DES exposure.  But it doesn't really matter, I am what I am.

[Tilly]

Gosh that's interesting Ivy and I'm sorry for your sister.

 

My mother did not plan me: I was an 'afterthought'. Actually she later admitted that I was a mistake. I came 5 years after my siblings and my mother had hypertension whilst carrying me and ever after.

 

Who knows what she was taking? But I do think I was exposed to high estrogen levels in the womb - hence the fingers etc. etc.

 

[missyjo]

Chloe 

darling, mom may be supportive n not talkative due to dad or not supporting at all...I think you're best bet is to consider no support there..if it comes later great..in meantime live your life well..be happy, kind, helpful n others will like n love you for the kind person you are..I'm hoping that works for myself n anyone else who isn't getting much support 

good luck dear

hugs

missy jo 

[Tilly]

It's a really vital point about finding support where we can.

 

This can be a lonely road if we're not careful and I don't think we can assume support from all immediate family members. My mother loved me and professed support to my face, but said other things to my daughter. My sisters are ambivalent to unsupportive. My two children have at times really struggled with it, partly because of friends teasing them.

 

My ex girlfriend was passive aggressive and her daughters openly hostile: constantly misgendering me in the house and referring to me by my former male name etc. etc. So in the end I left.

 

I have a brother who has been fantastic throughout. He's gay, which I've discovered does not always equate to support for trans, but in his case it does.

 

One male friend told me he would never speak to me again if I had the 'sex-change op'. Another male friend sent me a video by Jordan Peterson. Another said before my ops that I would never look like a woman.

 

All of these incidents are real. I have a tiny cluster of people I trust but it's hard. It can be so lonely.

 

That's also why a place like this can be a lifeline.

[missyjo]

Tilly,

 

agreed. sorry but I agree on lack if family support

 

my 2 siblings swore for 2 weeks prior to my disclosure of my transness, both swore up n down they'd forever support me in anything n the 3 of us woukd always stick together n support each h other..less than 12 hours later, forever had arrived m 1 sibling came out hostile n progressivlz more hostile....3 months later the other sibling told me how unfair it was for me to force this ok others..like the guy cutting my grass for money..his religious views were under attack by me csuse i dressed as a girl n vdid not respect his views..i paid ..him..exllaidn..more emails about me going to hell..finall I said just leave me the hell alone

.

[Ivy]

It's weird how people can take us transitioning as an act against them personally.  Pretty self centered.

[missyjo]

ivy,

I know, n truly, our transition to them is..fairly cosmetic...our brainstorming n hearts did not change. ..

 

hugs