What is your strategy to living as who you truly are?

[Heather Shay]

What is your strategy to living as who you truly are?

[Mx.Drago]

Leave the smallest of footprints and don't make too much noise.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

Live simply, live each day, and make the most of what I have.  

[KymmieL]

Try and live as myself with in the constraints I am given.

 

Kymmie

[JuliannaFrances]

I take each day as it comes, i am happy to have what i have, i dress when i can. I am lucky to be in a situation where i don't have to hide anything. 

[KathyLauren]

"Just do it!"  I just live my life as it comes.  I am full-time, and, while I don't make a big deal about being trans, I do not hide it.  Everyone I know (I assume) knows that I am trans.  If they don't know it for sure, they can likely guess from my voice and build.  I must have good taste in friends and associates, because no one has made an issue of it.  People tend to like me.

 

I am risk-averse, so if someone did show open hostility to me, I would most likely leave.  But I am ready to engage if physical violence is unlikely.  The activist in me feels the need to educate the public, since all of the hostility to us is driven by ignorance.

[Ashley0616]

Live like it's your last. Love like your life depends on it. Show kindness and generosity when you can if you believe in karma or not. Leave your footprints for your kids to follow (if you have any). Laugh because life is too short. Quick to listen and slow to anger. Know there are always multiple sides to anything because what one sees you may not. If you have a dream go for it and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

Be thankful for where you are because there are plenty of people out there that wish they were in your place. Never judge a book by its cover because there is no telling what they have been through. Aches and pains don't only just come with age but the mileage as well. No bad deed goes unpunished.

 

Do what is right even when no one is looking. Always be truthful because it will come out eventually and hurt even more. If you did something wrong own up to it and accept it's consequences. Hatred shouldn't have a place in the world because it always hurts. Always do the best you can and accept that perfection is just a word in the dictionary. Normal is also only a word in the dictionary that we all seek. Everyone has their own meaning to it. Just because something is different doesn't mean to mock, laugh or ridicule it.

[Tiffany 838]

Ladies I am not sure if this is the place for this but it seems to fit.  Kathy and Ashley your words hit home in so many ways.  
 

my question is, how do you know when it is time to step out into public as your true self?  My wife and I have talked about going to a known LGBT bar, but we both share a fear of running into some one who would know me.  This could possibly destroy a 30 year plus career, or not. Money is it would. 
 

Any advice?

 

 

[Charlize]

Tiffany i remember feeling much the same.  I only allowed myself to go out as myself when i was far away from my neighborhood.  Perhaps that was good way to gain confidence but ti was difficult at best.  When i did go to local gay bars it seemed quite safe.  after all if someone knew me there....... why were they there?  I kinda figured it was a mutual silence thing.

I'm glad you have your wife there with you.  Being with another woman makes it much easier. 

Most of all try to enjoy yourself!  It was an amazing, if at times scary, journey for me.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Heather Shay]

All of you have shown strength, maturity and wisdom. Thank you.

[Betty K]

One day at a time. Don’t go backwards. No negative self-talk. Love myself! Savour every achievement and new step taken. 
 

I lodged my legal change of name and gender form today. I can hardly believe I’ve come this far. I survived! That in itself is worth celebrating. 

[KathyLauren]

10 hours ago, Tiffany 838 said:

how do you know when it is time to step out into public as your true self?

 

I had this same question a few years ago.  I had been going to a weekly trans peer-support group in the city, and had graduated to going as Kathy.  I was already on HRT, which meant that I would have to go full-time soon.  And I was scared.

 

So I booked an appointment with my therapist, also in the city, to discuss my fears.  But a major snowstorm threatened to block the roads.  So I drove in the day before and stayed at a hotel.  I resolved to be in girl mode for the duration of my stay.  I went out to a trans-friendly nightclub with some of my support-group friends.  The next morning, killing time before my therapist appointment, I walked around downtown in the snow, window shopping.  I talked to waitresses and cashiers and had a lovely time.  By the time of my appointment, my fears had gone.  I knew that I could be myself and relax.

 

I know that it's not quite the same thing in the US, but if you can find a relatively safe city where no one knows you and just spend the day being yourself, you might conquer the fear and hesitation.

[Tiffany 838]

Thank you all for the advice. I know it will happen soon.

[Birdie]

On 6/6/2023 at 8:29 PM, Tiffany 838 said:

 my question is, how do you know when it is time to step out into public as your true self?  My wife and I have talked about going to a known LGBT bar, but we both share a fear of running into some one who would know me.  This could possibly destroy a 30 year plus career, or not. Money is it would. 
 

Any advice?

Well, just over one year ago I was hiding my full breasts and curves under bib overalls and baggy shirts. I supported a full beard as well. I'm intersex, and it has been mentioned since childhood just never fully investigated until recently. 

 

One day I just decided I was done hiding!

 

The beard came off, the overalls went on a shelf, and I started growing my hair out. To my surprise I was not met with much controversy over it at all. Everyone already knew I had breasts, and I never did hide them as well as I thought. They also knew I was different, many assumed I was gay. 

I have been quickly accepted on the "girls team", with one lady telling me that just last Monday. Especially after my ultrasound confirmed PMDS. 

It seems I had more of a problem with "being myself" than anyone else around me. 😉