Greetings

[Alessia]

I am now sure I am going to out myself to one of my friends and we will meet at monday, I hope I wont regret it but I have to tell him.

Thank you for giving me all the confidence that I needed to be brave enough to do so.

 

And I wish you all a beautiful and wonderful morning.

[Alessia]

I have done it I told my mom and she accepts me and supports me all the way. I am free like a bird right now yay.

My friend ally and my mom even noticed that my gesture changed already into a feminine one and I am smiling with my eyes. I am happy right now.💖to all of you who helped me

[Ashley0616]

25 minutes ago, Alessia said:

I have done it I told my mom and she accepts me and supports me all the way. I am free like a bird right now yay.

My friend ally and my mom even noticed that my gesture changed already into a feminine one and I am smiling with my eyes. I am happy right now.💖to all of you who helped me

Gluckwunsch!

[Birdie]

29 minutes ago, Alessia said:

I have done it I told my mom and she accepts me and supports me all the way. I am free like a bird right now yay.

My friend ally and my mom even noticed that my gesture changed already into a feminine one and I am smiling with my eyes. I am happy right now.💖to all of you who helped me

Awesome 💖

[April Marie]

38 minutes ago, Alessia said:

I have done it I told my mom and she accepts me and supports me all the way. I am free like a bird right now yay.

My friend ally and my mom even noticed that my gesture changed already into a feminine one and I am smiling with my eyes. I am happy right now.💖to all of you who helped me

How wonderful is that???!!! Let the journey of discovery begin....with a smile. 

[Alessia]

🥰

[Emily Elizabeth]

Hi Alessia! I hope your doing well today 😊 I wanted to let you know I related to a lot of what you said, thank you for being so brave and sharing your story with a bunch of strangers. I helped me feel less alone! I hate wearing men's clothes and I often by shirt 2 sizes to big to cover my body. My mom says I dress like a homeless man whos lost a lot of weight, whatever that means, lol. But I feel so much better in women's clothing. I'm still figuring out my journey but thanks again for sharing your story!

[Alessia]

7 hours ago, Emily Elizabeth said:

Hi Alessia! I hope your doing well today 😊 I wanted to let you know I related to a lot of what you said, thank you for being so brave and sharing your story with a bunch of strangers. I helped me feel less alone! I hate wearing men's clothes and I often by shirt 2 sizes to big to cover my body. My mom says I dress like a homeless man whos lost a lot of weight, whatever that means, lol. But I feel so much better in women's clothing. I'm still figuring out my journey but thanks again for sharing your story!

Hi Emily I love your name, I am fine since my first outing, but I can not sleep a lot since then, because I have to do and think so much, but my feelings are back. I dont like wearing women clothes yet but that is because since I accepted my trans me and my outing I became even more clear how my body looks and I can not relate to it a lot, except for my face especially the eyes and lips love them both. My depression vanished step after step and is replaced by impatience motivation joy sadness. I am still not fearless but if I had no fear I could not be brave. Even If I think it is not actually brave but it is more a necissity I just have to do this to be happy there is no choice. But I bought a yoga pants now too and hope I will like the feeling, just have to smash all mirrors before doing so jk no I wont smash anything.

I am still tired and powerless a lot, but I am much more clear about my feelings and emotions and mottivations everything actually, I have goals again and am socially active with friends and family. Tomorroe my twinbrother and one of my sisters will get to know a bout me and then I will stop outing. I going to therapy soon and will out me to the others then if I am a bit in the therapy.

 

 

I hope you can embrace this journey as I could now finally after 36 years. XD Glad I look at least 10 years younger haha, but To have strong allies is important. And you already have here really good allies on Transpulse, but having allies in the family or friends is giving a self esteem boost if they support you. I have yet to get regret so I can not help with this.

 

I just hope you will find your own way and be happy 🐈

[Alessia]

2 minutes ago, Alessia said:

regret  was the wrong word I meant actually rejected

 

[Birdie]

@Alessia, Hiding from ourselves creates it's own set of problems. I had hid from society for almost 60 years. Pretended to be male, and hid my female self rather ineffectively.

 

People knew I was different, so I didn't fool anyone. 

 

Hiding creates unwanted burden, depression, and fear. We are consumed in keeping the lie going. 

 

in my case I just finally got tired of hiding and made myself known. It has been the most rewarding experience of my life. It's not easy, I don't always known the correct path but Rome wasn't created in a day. 

[Alessia]

8 hours ago, Birdie said:

@Alessia, Hiding from ourselves creates it's own set of problems. I had hid from society for almost 60 years. Pretended to be male, and hid my female self rather ineffectively.

 

People knew I was different, so I didn't fool anyone. 

 

Hiding creates unwanted burden, depression, and fear. We are consumed in keeping the lie going. 

 

in my case I just finally got tired of hiding and made myself known. It has been the most rewarding experience of my life. It's not easy, I don't always known the correct path but Rome wasn't created in a day. 

It is just that I for myslef did not see the truth even if I had such moments in my life I knew it, but there was not really any transpeople I know so I thought I am just weird. But since my rebirth I wont hide not long anymore. Today comes my dearest sister and my one egg twin and lets see how it goes.

 

People know I am different too but I hid myseld really good but it has made me ill and isolated and numb.

There is no way back I am embracing me and face all obstacles.

 

Before I forget, I wish you all a beautiful day

[Alessia]

I was a little upset lately since a part of my friend circle is really masculine and I was there with my brother and I just wanted to go home since no one of them knows about me yet.

I dont see how I ever can tell anyone of them about me. But also I hated to wear the male mask again. Just alone how you get treated as male vs female is just feels so annoying I hate it.

 

But I have also good news, finally after many attempts I got a therapy place. Its a bit far away from my home town but the therapist sounded very empathetic and professional. I am glad I got lucky and hope I can connect with her in a trustful way. Now I just have to wait till 31th of august, but I have already plans to make the time worthwhile. I will do a lot of cargio and will go find some nice clothes with my mom.

 

[Birdie]

1 minute ago, Alessia said:

I was a little upset lately since a part of my friend circle is really masculine and I was there with my brother and I just wanted to go home since no one of them knows about me yet.

I dont see how I ever can tell anyone of them about me. But also I hated to wear the male mask again. Just alone how you get treated as male vs female is just feels so annoying I hate it.

 

But I have also good news, finally after many attempts I got a therapy place. Its a bit far away from my home town but the therapist sounded very empathetic and professional. I am glad I got lucky and hope I can connect with her in a trustful way. Now I just have to wait till 31th of august, but I have already plans to make the time worthwhile. I will do a lot of cargio and will go find some nice clothes with my mom.

 

Those testosterone driven conversations are just not fun, I don't blame you for not enjoying them. 

There is nothing as satisfying as sitting down with the girls and catching up on things. That's why I don't wear the male mask anymore, tomboyish but not male. 

 

Sounds like you found a great therapist, I do hope it works out well for you. 

 

Birdie💖

[Alessia]

1 minute ago, Birdie said:

Those testosterone driven conversations are just not fun, I don't blame you for not enjoying them. 

There is nothing as satisfying as sitting down with the girls and catching up on things. That's why I don't wear the male mask anymore, tomboyish but not male. 

 

Sounds like you found a great therapist, I do hope it works out well for you. 

 

Birdie💖

I was even in my repressed state not very macho like I always hated it, and now it is worse.

And I can see myself a bit tomboyish too at least in what things I do and enjoy. Clothes wise I guess I want more a similar style like my sister. She wears feminine but natural and not too sexy. And she is good with combinations of colours too.

 

I hope so but she seemed very nice, and thank you Birdie💖🐈

[Birdie]

Viel Glück!  und finden Sie, was Ihnen gefällt, und nicht das, was jeder erwartet. 💖💃💖

[Alessia]

Just now, Birdie said:

Viel Glück!  und finden Sie, was Ihnen gefällt, und nicht das, was jeder erwartet. 💖💃💖

Dankeschön, and I will I go shopping soon with my mom but only on the internet for now. Lets see what I like. But black is definitive not my favourite choice anymore. XD Maybe I will sent some photos but without me in it.

[MaybeRob]

Hi Allessia

 

Your english is much better than mine and I was born in England - maybe I've been australiasized>

 

Hugs

 

Rob

[Alessia]

7 hours ago, MaybeRob said:

Hi Allessia

 

Your english is much better than mine and I was born in England - maybe I've been australiasized>

 

Hugs

 

Rob

No this is not true, I am too german to accept such an obvious lie, even if it is disguised as a compliment.

But I take the Hug 🐈

[Alessia]

Hiii

I want to say goodbye and thank you

 

I am now outed by all but one person in my whole emotional circle and I feel really good

I take my hormones and I am happy I never was happy and I have no anxiety anymore, my body is regenerating and finally I can grow healthy hair out of my head. My depression lifted the moment my hormones changed. I am crying a lot lately but it is a nice change. I am in good hands now all my friends and family know the last friend will now it today. Everyone but one answered me with kindness support and acceptance some even with curiosity and humour or compassion.

I did not know I have had such a good stand in my circle I did not see what they saw. They all love me and I also the men treat me a bit better now and not like a buddy I can not stand to be touched rough I am very sensitive even as girl.

 

I want to thank Ashley specifically because she was here for me as I was very down and confused. But I want to head on in my own footsteps now. I am following you Ashley on youtube Everyone of you who knew me and welcomed me here feel hugged and I hope your are all fine too.

 

I am a free bird now whose cage got opend now I am learning to fly..

 

Goodbye you lovely people.

 

Mille Grazie Tausenddank,

 

Alessia

[Mmindy]

Alessia,

 

This is a wonderful parting letter, I'm so happy that you see life in a better way now.

 

Fly be free, but remember you can always check back in with us from time to time.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Alessia]

I might do that but for this part of my life I believe I have to look forwards and not backwards, but I will not delete my account. Still I can not promise to come back because I do not know where my road leads me now. I have suddenly many different options I never had before. And thank you for your words.😘

[Ashley0616]

42 minutes ago, Alessia said:

I want to thank Ashley specifically because she was here for me as I was very down and confused. But I want to head on in my own footsteps now. I am following you Ashley on youtube Everyone of you who knew me and welcomed me here feel hugged and I hope your are all fine too.

You're welcome. It's sad that you are leaving us but I understand where you are coming from. I wish you nothing but a wonderful and safe journey as you continue your transition. You are a great person. I'll always be here in case you need to send me a message or need someone to confide in. Take care! You have been a great friend. I guess this is goodbye. 

[Alessia]

Hey Ashley, thank you for your kind words and also I have to give the compliment back, because you are also a great person. You grabbed me up so I could stand as I was coming to this forum.  I like what you have done with your eyes even tho I have not tried make up yet, but I guess I am not the make up type anyways but looks good on you. It dont have to be a goodbye if you want you can add my facebook if you have one so we can chat, but I have no pictures in it because I am not there yet not even close. Only people who accepted me are in it. If you want to add me there ask me I will sent you a private message not here.