Help.

[Guest Jordann]

I really am stuck on what to do about this. I know your first step to transitioning is to see a doctor, but I don't know how to see a doctor. I've told my mom I'm transgender but she doesn't accept that, the only reason she lets me be the way i am is because last year I told her i was gay because that's what i figured i was until i realized there was a way you can transition into a woman which is what i want. But how am i supposed to see a doctor about this if she doesn't want me to be like this?? I really need help on how I could possibly contact a doctor and get there to be able to talk to one. Please help. Any ideas would really help me.

PS: Sorry if this wasn't the right section to post this in, I figured it was.

[Guest pattib]

Let me start with a quick thought . . .

DON'T GIVE UP!

If, for some reason, the doctor you have an appointment with takes issue with you wanting to be recognized as the real you then see a different doctor. I am not super fluent with this site but I would hope that there would be a link or at least someone who would have a better idea of how to locate someone in your region that would be open and supportive to your needs.

Please, just always remember that there are tons of doctors in the world and that just because you meet with one, it does not mean that you have to stay with that one. Much like a company that looks for a new employee that sees several applicants before making a decision, you can interview as many doctors as you need to before deciding who to stay with. Quick side note on that - it may cost you $$ to see a bunch of doctors, thanks big insurance companies, but you have the right to 'best practice' medicine.

Congrats for standing up for what is best for you. I hope everything goes well for you. - pattib

[Guest Martin]

Usually the first step isn't seeing a medical doctor, but a therapist.

In the U.S., you may be able to see a therapist without your mother's permission - or even her knowledge - but this depends on your age. However, doing that makes payment difficult, unless you have a job. Of course, there are therapists who see underaged people for cheep, but these aren't always the same therapists who can help you transition. And if you want to transition before you're 18, you're going to need your mother's permission, and so absolute secrecy might not even be your best bet.

What I'd suggest doing is choosing a therapist first. Look on-line and in your phone book for a therapist that's near enough for you to go to. Call about waiting lists and rates, asking about sliding scale and insurance. See if it's someone you'd be willing to work with. Make sure they know what transsexuality is and that they're willing to work with a transsexual client, including helping that client transition. Make sure the therapist is respectful, helpful, and either knowledgeable or willing to learn.

Then go back to your mother. Tell her you really need help with this gender thing (or ANY other issue you also have. Depression? Anxiety?). Give her the short list of therapists and ask if you can see one please. Offer to do work around the house to work off the costs of therapy if you're okay with that. And rather than saying it's to transition, say it's to help you figure things out or get support or something.

No guarantee that this will work. It's just a suggestion.

I'd also suggest doing research on your own. The Internet has some great information. For example, http://www.tsroadmap.com/index.html has some great information for trans women. Local libraries might also have some good books, though most print books are out-of-date. Join support groups. Talk to people. Doing these things will help adults take you seriously and will give you a solid foundation to later transition. They will help you figure out if transitioning is even the right thing, or if there's another path that better for you. Information really is power when it comes to this.

Good luck!