Tips for coping with hip dysphoria

[itsJoey]

I have wide hips, and I know that no amount of testosterone is ever going to change that.  I'm a chronically skinny guy, too, so I can't even try weight loss to make the curves a bit less dramatic; everything I'm hating is straight-up bone.  Do you guys have anything you do to help with that dysphoria?  

[AllieJ]

Joey, I feel for you, though some dressing tricks may help, I know they aren't the answer. I'm MTF and have the opposite problem, my shoulders and upperbody are naturally large, while my hips are unnaturally small. meaning I am 4 sizes different top to bottom. In male body types, I am Mesomorph, and people always asked me if I was a bodybuilder, though I didn't ever do weights. This does not help with passing, and is my number one dysphoria trigger. I have come to accept that passing all the time just won't happen, but so long as people treat me nicely, I can live with that. (Not that I have a choice!)

 

Sometimes we are victims of advertising, and we see the perfect specimen we believe we should be, but male bodies come in different shapes. Ectomorphs are lean with small shoulders and hips, Mesomorphs are big shouldered and small hips, and Endomorphs tend to have hips bigger than their shoulders. You are an Endomorph type, though these body shape are often associated with plump men. My son is an Endomorph, and he is a popular guy, though he has had a lifetime to adapt to his body shape. You will adapt to yours, and like the rest of us, make the most of it!

 

Hugs,

 

Allie

[itsJoey]

On 7/5/2023 at 1:32 AM, AllieJ said:

You will adapt to yours, and like the rest of us, make the most of it!

It's been a few days, but I wanted to thank you for being real and still being polite & positive!  I put similar concerns on different forums and was basically bombarded by guys telling me that I must not be working out correctly and that everything is my fault.  Perhaps they didn't read the part where I said my bone structure is wide in the hips; no workout routine is going to shrink my literal bones.  I appreciated the story about your son, and knowing that others have similar issues with their hips.

[DonkeySocks]

So I see this is a slightly older thread and I trust you are doing well. I'm dealing with different dysphoria stuff myself and stopped in to get some support just by being around the discussions here without talking it out. My hips are wide but they don't bother me that much. But what I was thinking is, it depends on whether the hip width itself bothers you personally, or whether it's more about passing, whether dressing tips might help. If you don't like the way your hips are, that's not going to be helped by this, but it might help with passing. It's a slightly outdated look but I think if you pull it all together it could really go over well. I used to know skinny cis guys who emphasized their hips. Basically straight-leg jeans (you can get boot-cut ones at the farm store so the jeans are even wider at the bottom of the leg), a large belt and large belt buckle, and boots. Then a very thin, straight-cut shirt, either T-shirt or a medium-dress button-down. It's counterintuitive because it draws attention to the waist, but if you aren't able to hide the bony hips, then drawing attention to the entire waist makes it look exaggerated overall, like a deliberate effect, I don't know what to call the style, but I'm sure you've seen it in music videos if you ever watch stuff from the 90s and early 2000s. You can even add more "weight" to the waist with a chain on the belt/pocket. Basically it squares everything off and doesn't draw attention only to the hips, which trying to drape or cover them can do.