Hello everyone

[NorthernLight]

I'm a 34-year old (secretly) bisexual male who has done very well in my career and am now a Vice President at a Milwaukee company.  I have no complaints about how my life has gone in that respect.

 

But earlier this year I found out (indirectly) that a stunningly beautiful woman I had met a few times is transgendered, and now I can't help thinking if that's what I should do for myself too.  I have only dressed up a little bit, and admittedly I'm nowhere in her class when I'm dressed, but now I think about being a beautiful woman often, and being intimate with a man enjoying my female body, and it really makes me wonder about going down that road.  I also know it would likely ruin my career, at least for awhile, so for the moment it's just a dream.

 

But I found out about this site and thought I'd ask as I'm sure some people here have had similar thoughts, and could give good advice on how to address it. 

[Mmindy]

Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums @NorthernLight

 

You're in a safe place here to ask this very question. While I knew at a young age that I wished to be a girl now woman. Some people like yourself, don't realize the gender fluid or bisexual aspects of their life until later. Like you, I was very successful in business and spoke on a national level. I retired from the speaking circuit to come out to my wife, and pursue my own transition. Take your time, read the posts of others, jump in on the conversation when you want. I would also recommend talking to a therapist about these feelings you're having. Before doing anything drastic make sure to see a gender therapist. Check out your local LGBTQIA support networks and functions. I'm sure others will chime in, with more detailed ideas and recommendations.

 

Most of all, be your authentic self.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Audrey Renee]

Hi @NorthernLight

 

I am new here too, and I did transition about 15 years ago, but I know from myself and from other people, the woman inside us doesn't always show up when we are young, or often during most of our lives, but when she does, it's really hard to hold her back, and if you need to bring her out, it makes your life so much better if you do.

 

I know you feel in a situation with your job where it feels impossible, but I agree with @Mmindy that you should start seeing a gender therapist where you can talk about these issues in private with someone who really knows the subject.  That's what I did all those years ago before I finally decided Audrey was who I needed to be.  

 

It sounds like you are really good at the work you do, and if you need to make the changes in your life and you do become a woman (or present yourself to the world as one), then I'm sure she'll be good at the work she does too!

 

There is good support here too, and lots of people who have been through similar situations.  Glad to have you here!

[Charlize]

First of all welcome!

I would suggest that you make an appointment with a gender therapist.  There is a large selection of care providers listed in the welcome area.  I know that seeing a therapist certainly helped me.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Mirrabooka]

Welcome aboard, @NorthernLight. I'm also relatively new here. The very fact that you are questioning yourself about gender issues proves that you belong here amongst this wonderful community.

 

11 hours ago, Audrey Renee said:

I am new here too, and I did transition about 15 years ago, but I know from myself and from other people, the woman inside us doesn't always show up when we are young, or often during most of our lives, but when she does, it's really hard to hold her back, and if you need to bring her out, it makes your life so much better if you do.

 

@Audrey Renee, it never ceases to amaze me how common the feeling of having an inner woman is. I've always had one but until recently, I haven't been happy to let her out. I'm proud of her now and feel so much better because of it.

[April Marie]

Welcome to the forum!! As others have said, this is an amazingly diverse community to ask questions and find information that may help answer your questions. There are many of us here who have begun a transition late in life - years of denial, guilt, fear and depression finally exploding and forcing us to acknowledge the woman inside. Starting now, especially with the help of a gender therapist, will help you to find the answers to your questions and to find your real self....which just may even be who you are right now.

 

Feel free to jump in where you feel comfortable.

[Susan R]

On 7/28/2023 at 12:00 PM, NorthernLight said:

now I think about being a beautiful woman often, and being intimate with a man enjoying my female body, and it really makes me wonder about going down that road.

Hi @NorthernLight It’s a pleasure to meet you and nice to have you aboard. As you already know, you’re not alone with these thoughts. Many of us here have questioned which path is best. The advice given to see a therapist (with a focus on gender identity) would seem to me to be the best next step. These professionals can help you sort many of these questions and give you some food for thought. There’s plenty of help here too. So if you need some advice or have a specific question in mind, you’ve come to the right place.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

[MaybeRob]

Welcome @NorthernLight

 

Hope you find the best outcome for you. 

 

hugs

 

MaybeRob

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, hon.  I hope that you find the support and information and friendship that you're looking for.  The site has much to offer, and we'll answer your questions as best we can, always.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Delcina B]

Welcome @NorthernLight! Glad you're here! Questioning would seem to make taking a look, exploring worthwhile. I think one of the really helpful things I've learned here is gender & sexuality aren't the same & both are on spectrums. Transition can look like what ever you need it to be to feel comfortable in your own skin. I hope you find the wonderful advice, support & acceptance here as I have.

 

Hugs!

Delcina 

[Ashley0616]

@NorthernLight you are at a good place. None of us can give you professional help. We can only give you our personal experiences and thoughts. I would talk to a primary care physician to get a referral to gender therapist. They'll be able to point you in the right direction. I'm not saying you do or don't have gender dysphoria but you will be at ease with their professional opinion. There are many other possibilities instead of gender dysphoria. Maybe something as simple as a femboy is the fix you need. Again not saying you do or don't have it. I wish you good luck on your journey and look forward to seeing your posts.

[NorthernLight]

Thanks everyone.  I did find a gender therapist and am going to see her next week.  It's scary in some ways to acknowledge the implications of where my mind has been going lately, but I really do need someone who knows the subject to talk to.

 

And I really appreciate the advice all you brave souls have given me!