How often do you really look at yourself?

[Red_Lauren.]

We really don't do we. I've been on hrt for a bit over 2.5 years now. I never really documented changes or even looked in the mirror a lot. I have b cups bras all the way to DDD for proof how munch my body had Changned in that time. My friends would also say things. Especially if they didn't see me for a few months, so I knew things were changing. 

 

I mentioned this because of a interaction I had with thr wonderful lady that cuts my hair. I told her the other day I caught my reflection in mirror after a shower. She was did you like what you saw? I'm like yea I guess. I mean for the first time I saw a adult female chest looking at me. That's what caught my attention, and was just suprised I had female chest. She then asked how I didn't notice. I'm like I never look at my self naked, ans she asked why. I'm like probably from 35 years of hating my body, so I just got use to being disappointed. Out missing a beat. In her own scarastic way. She gos will that's what hormones do. If you didn't know they give you breast. I responded back in my own scrastic way. Gee thanks! I guess I'm stuck with them now. 

 

 

 

 

[AllieJ]

I avoid looking at myself in mirrors, too many things which trigger dysphoria, even though I am through transition.

 

Hugs,

 

Allie

[Red_Lauren.]

9 minutes ago, AllieJ said:

I avoid looking at myself in mirrors, too many things which trigger dysphoria, even though I am through transition.

 

Hugs,

 

Allie

For me its everything just happend so fast, and still changing. I couldn't even keep up. Like I was a C after 5ish months. By the end of my first year I was a D. By last spring I was a DD. By this spring I was a DDD. 

[Mirrabooka]

I look at myself often. Not to judge whether I pass or not, because that's not my aim anyway, but to affirm that what I see is slowly, slowly matching how I feel. It almost seems like my hair is sitting better every week and I am able to do more with it. My nails are looking prettier all the time. Certain clothes that I wear seem more normal all the time.

 

I also occasionally look in the mirror and discover new things. Today, I wore a bra with 100% cotton cups. After some intensive gardening today on a gloriously sunny day, I was feeling a bit clammy and lifted my t-shirt in front of the mirror to discover a half sweaty bra! Who'd a thunk it!

 

It's interestring that you mentioned your hairdresser, @Red_Lauren.. Last time I got a trim I struck up a wonderful rapport with the lovely lady who was looking after me. I suspect that she knew that there was a bit going on (I'm not out and only passively, not actively transitioning) and I look forward to seeing her again in a couple of weeks.  

[Birdie]

2 minutes ago, Mirrabooka said:

Last time I got a trim I struck up a wonderful rapport with the lovely lady who was looking after me

I have a newer CNA at the day-centre that started about a month ago. 

Of course the day-centre has been enforcing their "gender policies" on me, but the new girl couldn't help but mention the fact that I had "transitioned" when we were alone. 

She had noticed right away, but decided to not bring it up because of the establishment's gender policies. 

 

I attend very androgynous and neutral looking. The only thing that screams female are my boobs, and there are several participants with fair amounts of gynecomastia. 

 

People take notice, and even subtle changes are picked up upon. 

[Ashley0616]

I hate looking at myself but then again I'm still new to transitioning. I have to wear a wig because my hair is only three inches long. I hate that. Then I also have to put on breast forms and it sucks without them. I don't have any butt and my hips I can pinch a little but I think I already had that. I also hate how quickly my facial hair and body hair grows. I'm having to have to shave every two or three days. As everyday goes on I wished I was cisgendered more and more. Not to mention my hormones aren't stable. Majority of the days it feels like the patch needs to be more than the baby dose. I'm only on .025 and hopefully they'll test my estrogen levels soon and it shows that it's low so I can get more. I'm sorry I'm doing a lot of whining but I'm just being truthful and getting stuff off my chest. 

[Mirrabooka]

@Ashley0616 whine away! You weren't really whining anyway, you were just putting your thoughts out there.  

[Ashley0616]

10 minutes ago, Mirrabooka said:

@Ashley0616 whine away! You weren't really whining anyway, you were just putting your thoughts out there.  

Thank you!

[Mirrabooka]

11 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

Thank you!

You're welcome!  ❤️

[Birdie]

46 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

I'm just being truthful and getting stuff off my chest

Oh my do I understand!

Go ahead hun, I do it all the time!

 

It seems I only have two forums where I can spill my guts about what's bothering me everyday and this is one of them (I'm on three forums). 

 

We are all in the same boat here with varying problems, but things that bother us none the less. 

 

It's so nice to "get things out" sometimes, and the helpful comments are just so special as well. 

[Ashley0616]

14 minutes ago, Birdie said:

Oh my do I understand!

Go ahead hun, I do it all the time!

 

It seems I only have two forums where I can spill my guts about what's bothering me everyday and this is one of them (I'm on three forums). 

 

We are all in the same boat here with varying problems, but things that bother us none the less. 

 

It's so nice to "get things out" sometimes, and the helpful comments are just so special as well. 

This is the only place that I feel welcomed. I tried other places and didn't get the same feeling. So I'm very grateful for the forum. 

[Ivy]

I usually only look in the mirror to make sure I'm reasonably presentable when I go out.  Is wig straight if I'm wearing one - stuff like that - clothes and all.  Do I need to wear a bra with this? etc.

Just to look at my body… no thanks.

 

[Red_Lauren.]

3 hours ago, Mirrabooka said:

I look at myself often. Not to judge whether I pass or not, because that's not my aim anyway, but to affirm that what I see is slowly, slowly matching how I feel. It almost seems like my hair is sitting better every week and I am able to do more with it. My nails are looking prettier all the time. Certain clothes that I wear seem more normal all the time.

 

I also occasionally look in the mirror and discover new things. Today, I wore a bra with 100% cotton cups. After some intensive gardening today on a gloriously sunny day, I was feeling a bit clammy and lifted my t-shirt in front of the mirror to discover a half sweaty bra! Who'd a thunk it!

 

It's interestring that you mentioned your hairdresser, @Red_Lauren.. Last time I got a trim I struck up a wonderful rapport with the lovely lady who was looking after me. I suspect that she knew that there was a bit going on (I'm not out and only passively, not actively transitioning) and I look forward to seeing her again in a couple of weeks.  

I've been seeing her for nearly 4 years now. She has seen me go from a dude, to a beautiful swan as she says. She's also the reason why I transitioned. Not because of what she said, but because she got breast cancer. That was kinda my turning point in life. I'm like we only have one life, and I went about getting hormones. 

 

Now she didn't know any of this. She knew I had a femmine side. She just didn't know I was trans, or started the process. She got all of her surgical stuff done, and I would check in on her to make sure she was good, I told her when you get back. I have a suprise for you. I think I was her first client on her first day back. She straight up asked what the suprise was. I told her, and she was so happy for me. 

 

She likes to compare what we went through the last 2.5 years, ans while we have talked about the up and downs of both our journey's since. I'll eventually be done. She'll have to deal with cancer stuff the rest of her life. 

[Red_Lauren.]

4 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

I hate looking at myself but then again I'm still new to transitioning. I have to wear a wig because my hair is only three inches long. I hate that. Then I also have to put on breast forms and it sucks without them. I don't have any butt and my hips I can pinch a little but I think I already had that. I also hate how quickly my facial hair and body hair grows. I'm having to have to shave every two or three days. As everyday goes on I wished I was cisgendered more and more. Not to mention my hormones aren't stable. Majority of the days it feels like the patch needs to be more than the baby dose. I'm only on .025 and hopefully they'll test my estrogen levels soon and it shows that it's low so I can get more. I'm sorry I'm doing a lot of whining but I'm just being truthful and getting stuff off my chest. 

I started growing out my hair before I transitioned. Even before I knew I was going to transition. By the time I did transition. I had hair down past my breast. 

 

I never did the breast fourms. As I found out it would have been a waste of money. Even though the last six months of being a dude. I went out fully as a woman in public with no breast, and horrible makeup skills. 

 

The good thing about hormones. They might kill off unwanted body hair, or at least thin it out. I know for me it thinned out my legs, and chest a lot, and I had a rug on my chest. I only have a few hairs that I shave off once a or so a month.

 

Fun fact it also could change hair down below also. I found that out when I got waxed a few months ago. The lady that waxed me was like you been on hormones a while haven't you? I'm like how did you know. She was like its its less dense then men, and the pattern is more feminine. She then asked how long I have been on them. I told her about 2.5 years, and she said that makes sense then. Apprently she has a trans friend, ans she would wax her. She saw changes even on her ad time went on..

 

[miz miranda]

Oh my god, I never look at myself in mirror. Even if I'm brushing my teeth, combing my hair or shaving. It is physically painful; I feel so hideous.

 

I'm pre-everything and still unsure of what I want. I can only look at myself in pictures of me fully dressed from a make-over photo shoot.

[Red_Lauren.]

On 7/29/2023 at 10:44 AM, miz miranda said:

Oh my god, I never look at myself in mirror. Even if I'm brushing my teeth, combing my hair or shaving. It is physically painful; I feel so hideous.

 

I'm pre-everything and still unsure of what I want. I can only look at myself in pictures of me fully dressed from a make-over photo shoot.

I don't recall the last time I used a mirror to shave. Other then to trim my beard back. I rocked a goatee from about 23-30, and once a while from 30-34. At 34 I got a job that required me to be clean shaved because of having to wear a respirator. 

 

I hosntly don't even like to look at my pictures, or watch my YouTube videos after I post them. I don't like how my face looks on digital media. Even fully done up.