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Posts
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By Betty K · Posted
Hi and welcome. A few things... 1. You're right, you can't trust your friends w/r/t the question of passing. How would they even know if you pass or not? My sister used to do the same thing, telling me that no-one knew I was trans and that to her I just looked like a cis woman. I still don't know if she was serious or just trying to make me feel good, but I learned to not listen to her on that topic. 2. Buuuut, having said that, I thought I looked good, and I think that is all she was really trying to tell me, that she liked how I looked as a woman. Maybe this is obvious, but I feel it gets overlooked: passing and looking good are not the same thing, not even remotely. Your friends (I presume) are trying to tell you that you look good as you are. 3. Having said all that, I think non-passing transmascs have a harder time than us non-passing transfemmes. All I have to do to get gendered correctly 95% of the time is wear a dress and makeup and only a few seriously ignorant folks and diehard transphobes misgender me. For you, it's much harder to find signifiers powerful enough to send the same message. So in short, I don't have any answers, except that you're right, it sucks, and I hope the situation improves over time. But passing isn't everything. Maybe you're right, and in a less conservative state it wouldn't happen so often, because you'd have more people like you surrounding you. I know that where I chose to live while transitioning has been a big part of making the process a positive experience. I'd hate to be in Texas atm. -
By Mirrabooka · Posted
Thank you, ladies. At the time I went from euphoric (my normal state) to not euphoric in an instant, and the lingering thought was one of self-doubt, manifesting itself with the unsolved question that maybe I never really felt like I had the soul of a woman, I just thought I did. I know I'm not the only one to ever feel this way. All part of the ride on this roller coaster I guess. Yep, and yep. Makes sense now. -
By Mmindy · Posted
Good morning everyone, I’m sitting at my gate waiting to board a jet ✈️ home. Happy Mother’s Day. Hugs, Mindy🌈🐛🏳️⚧️🦋🏳️🌈❤️ -
By Birdie · Posted
@Ladypcnj, I found finding a doctor with a good understanding of "intersex" is quite challenging. My current doctor lectured me about the dangers of the testosterone treatments I underwent as a teenager, yet I had no choice in the matter as it was orchestrated by my parents and a sports doctor (I would have never done it in my own). Having "extra parts" inside and their first suggestion is to remove them because they "might" become cancerous. I'm sorry, but no one is going to remove my uterus unless there is a clear reason to do so. Then being referred to a psychiatrist to "treat" my gender dysphoria? Other than a diagnosis of intersex, I find most doctors today are quite vague in understanding how to treat things. It's not something that need fixing, but rather understanding, and each individual case is special. I know who and what I am, my current care team fails to grasp that. -
By Heather Shay · Posted
Welcome. I know the pain of misgendering, the best way to feel better is to work on yourself and self-acceptance as we still have the curse of the body not matching the brain and although we can make some physical changes we still have to work with what wee have. I also agree that you are still young and you have not gone through all the changes yet your body will. So hang in there. -
By Heather Shay · Posted
agree with the ladies above. Comfort and trust are important, especially with health care. If you don't feel comfortable even if it isn't with a specialist, although that would be preferred. -
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By Heather Shay · Posted
Fear of emotions, also known as emotion phobia, is when someone is unsure how to understand, regulate, or comfort their emotions. Some signs of fear of emotions include: Developing a pessimistic outlook, Avoiding activities or people, Experiencing big outbursts of anger or tears, Struggling to sleep, and Being irritable to be around.Although there are many reasons we might suppress our emotions, one of them is that we are afraid of our emotions. Fear of emotions is called “animotophobia. It is not an official term in the DSM-5-TR. Still, fearing your emotions can have a significant impact on your well-being. -
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By Heather Shay · Posted
Even if you are estranged - think kindly of your mother today- because of her, you are here today. -
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By LittleSam · Posted
At 22 your body will still be changing. You say you've been on T for 6 years. Some trans guys say they fully masculinise around the 10 yr mark. I have a cis bro who is soon to be 30. He's changed alot in 5 years, a full beard, deeper voice . Of course hes cis so it's different, but his body was still changing at that age. Sorry for what you're going through. I'm short too at just under 5"2. -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
Dump that doctor! A doctor is a HIRED SERVICE PROFESSIONAL. No more "holy" than a mechanic, a plumber, or anybody else in the trades. Just like anybody else you hire, if they have a bad attitude or do crap quality work, get rid of them ASAP. It amazes me how in the USA we don't have clear prices related to medical services, and how people will put up with crap from a doctor that they wouldn't from anybody else. And it seems that doctors give bad service at approximately the same rate as other tradespeople. Good help is hard to find! Your body is more important than your car or your bathtub. Don't be afraid to assert yourself. -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
I can't do that for myself...my partners do that for me. I guess I'm damaged goods. I think part of me never totally grew up, because I'm not able to do adulting on my own. There's no "wise parent" part of me because I didn't get here on my own. I was stuck in my parents' house until GF rescued me. Before age 26, my parents made all my decisions. After age 26, I maybe decide some things, but mostly GF or my husband take care of it. I need my partners around to remember even the basic stuff, like sleeping and eating at reasonable times. Solo, I'm totally lost.
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