Emotion of the day

[Ashley0616]

fear:

: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger
: an instance of this emotion
: a state marked by this emotion
: anxious concern : SOLICITUDE
: profound reverence and awe especially toward God
: reason for alarm : DANGER
fear
: to be afraid of : expect with alarm
fear the worst
: to have a reverential awe of
fear God
archaic : FRIGHTEN
archaic : to feel fear in (oneself)

[Heather Shay]

Pride is primarily about yourself, even when it is not you who did something that you are proud about. You can also be proud of something someone else did, who you associate with, such as your children or your favorite football team. People can feel proud of their culture, their family name, or their appearance, none of which require them to actively contribute to the praiseworthy thing¹. However, the opinions of others are of crucial importance, as best demonstrated when you purposefully do something that other people praise.

Pride is a social emotion, and to feel proud, you need other people’s (real or imagined) confirmation that you have a reason to feel that way. Because of this, other people can also ‘be in your head’ and prevent you from feeling pride. Namely, what is praiseworthy is subjective. Things that may be considered good in a certain (cultural) group may not be praiseworthy in another (e.g., if you grew up in a family that greatly values academics, your athletic abilities may not evoke much praise). Moreover, what is praiseworthy is relative (e.g., if you are a good runner in an athletically average school, you may regularly feel proud about your times; but if you move to a school with highly competent athletes, these same times may seem unremarkable to you). Thus, the more exclusive your quality is in your surroundings, the prouder you feel.

Pride has recognizable features. Although its static facial expression (typically a smile or laugh) does not clearly distinguish it from other positive emotions, it typically results in a bodily posture, gestures, and behavior that are clearly recognizable: lifting your chin, looking people in the eye, walking confidently, or in extreme cases, raising arms above your head. In a way, you try to make yourself larger and more noticeable, as if to say: ‘look at me!’ You may also exhibit more perseverance in your activities².

People generally find it very pleasant to experience pride, as it elevates our feeling of social self-worth and status³. At the same time, many social groups, religions, and cultures (especially those that are highly collectivistic, such as the East Asian or African culture) believe that pride needs to be checked. Unchecked pride leads to arrogance and misplaced feelings of superiority (‘letting something get to your head’, ‘hubris comes before the fall’), and social groups typically do not tolerate members feeling like they are superior or deserve special treatment.

 

[Heather Shay]

DON’T ADD JUDGEMENT TO YOUR FEELINGS

by Olga Lacroix | Anxiety relief, Happiness, Mindfulness

I’m sitting here drinking my favorite coffee, and as I enjoy this moment I cannot wait to share with you the thoughts that are in my head. 

Recently, I have talked about how circumstances don’t determine your future. And somewhere along the line, I wanted to explore a little bit more about our thought process. How we discourage ourselves so often from our goals and from the things that we want, because we have beliefs that go against what we want.

In this episode, I want to talk about how it’s important for us to learn not to judge our feelings. Aside from being a Life Coach, I’m also a Certified Mindfulness Instructor. And non-judgement is one of the learnings that I enjoy understanding, applying, and teaching.

WHY BEING JUDGEMENTAL IS HARMFUL

Sometimes it’s so difficult to be non-judgmental, especially if it’s coming from a bad experience or emotions. For example, a client of mine just had a pregnancy loss and a part of her coping mechanism is to hate or be indifferent to people who have babies.  It’s her way of processing the grief and protecting herself from anger and sadness. And recently someone close to her had a baby. She wanted to feel excited for that person but somehow her bad experience was holding her back.

Like her, a lot of people cope this way. Some people try to hide their feelings and emotions just because they’ve already judged them as maybe improper or inappropriate emotions. And what happens is, those emotions stay inside them longer, they don’t get to process their emotions, and it becomes more painful.

HOW NOT TO BE JUDGEMENTAL

When we judge our feelings as bad, our natural response is to avoid it. We go through crazy lengths just to avoid the feeling, but by avoiding it we’re actually growing it. So what do we do? Do not judge the emotion, allow yourself to feel the negative emotions. Don’t mask it, instead embrace it. 

DON’T IDENTIFY WITH YOUR EMOTIONS

For someone like me who experienced Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD, a common side effect is anxiety. I have learned that the more I try to repel the anxious thoughts, the stronger they feel in my body, and the longer they stay. But when I’m courageous enough, and I say to the feeling, I’m not gonna judge you for existing, you’re just a feeling. I tell myself something neutral. There is anxiety, not I am anxious. Separate yourself from the feeling. The feeling is not you and it’s just temporary.

FINDING THE BALANCE

Now when the feeling is good and positive, we jump into attachment, wanting that feeling to linger longer and even forever. But according to Buddha, that’s when the suffering begins, when you want to make something last forever, and when you’re not ready to understand and accept the impermanence of emotions.

Find the balance in your emotions. Learn to separate yourself from the emotion. Feel the emotions whether they’re good or bad, but don’t dwell in it. It’s an emotion that we need to feel, process, and eventually let go. Through this, we will achieve a healthier mind.

STEPS TO FREE YOURSELF FROM JUDGEMENT

The first step is awareness. Being aware of the emotion and how you have judged it. This step will allow you to think of the next step to free yourself from judgement.

Step two is processing your emotion in neutrality. Go to a quiet place, close your eyes, and meditate. Bring all of your senses, all of your awareness to the feeling. Give it attention and wait for it to dissipate. 

The last step is to pay attention to the lesson. Become curious and think about what this emotion is teaching you, what wisdom can you take from it. Be an observer of your emotions. You need to react, you need to fix them, change them, modify them, you just need to notice them. And then you need to open the space, let them be felt.

These are moments of growth, these are moments of transformation. And most importantly, these are moments where we allow the emotion to be processed.

Reset Your Mindset is opening in January of 2022. A program that helps you with making decisions, set clear boundaries without drama or guilt. Stop the hamster wheel that keeps you in overthinking mode, switching off the mean inner voice and switching on confidence and compassion instead. Reset your mindset and discover your true self. Click here to know more!

Bonus: I’m also giving participants lifetime access to Detox The Mind online course. A course that emphasizes on helping you create new neurological connections so that you have a happier mind and healthier habits. See you inside!

[MAN8791]

Fragile is my word of the day. More intense dysphoria than my baseline normal, feeling emotionally on edge. Also ignoring a piece of therapy homework that's actually going to be beautiful when it's done (I'm doing an art piece exploring emotions around the name I was given at birth).

[Heather Shay]

AI overviews are experimental. Learn more…Opens in new tab

 

 

 

Emotional happiness is a state of positive emotion that can range from contentment to intense joy. It's often characterized by feelings of satisfaction, joy, fulfillment, and gladness. Happiness can also be defined as a positive evaluation of one's life and accomplishments, or a state of emotional well-being. It's often distinguished from other positive emotions, such as interest, excitement, and affection, and negative emotions, such as fear, anger, and sadness. Happiness is often associated with smiling. 

 

Verywell Mind

 

What Is Happiness and How Can You Become Happier? - Verywell Mind

Nov 7, 2022 — Typically, happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction.

Britannica

 

Happiness | Definition, Nature, Psychology, & Facts | Britannica

Mar 13, 2024 — happiness, in psychology, a state of emotional well-being that a person experiences either in a narrow sense, when good things happen in a specific moment, or more broadly, as a positive evaluation of one's life and accomplishments overall—that is, subjective well-being. Happiness can be distinguished both from negative emotions (such as sadness, fear, and anger) and also from other positive emotions (such as affection, excitement, and interest). This emotion often co-occurs with a specific facial expression: the smile. Related Topics: emotion eudaimonia smiling eudaemonism pleasure. See all related content →

Everyday Health

 

Happiness: Definition, Health Benefits, and How to Be Happier

Jan 24, 2023 — What Is Happiness? The American Psychological Association (APA) defines happiness as “an emotion of joy, gladness, satisfaction, and well-being.” Many of us would agree with the APA's definition, yet the more you look at it, the more it can seem incomplete. For example, you may feel all of those emotions at one moment, but an hour later you may feel none of them. So are you a happy person or not?

en.wikipedia.org

 

Happiness - Wikipedia

Happiness is a positive and pleasant emotion, ranging from contentment to intense joy. Moments of happiness may be triggered by positive life experiences or thoughts, but sometimes it may arise from no obvious cause. The level of happiness for longer periods of time is more strongly correlated with levels of life ...

 

 

 

 

 

[Ashley0616]

Disgust- 

:marked aversion aroused by something highly distasteful : REPUGNANCE
: to provoke to loathing, repugnance, or aversion : be offensive to
: to cause (one) to lose an interest or intention

[Heather Shay]

Suppressing your emotions because you’re afraid of them can be bad for your physical and mental health. Here’s what to do instead.

When a toddler feels a “big” emotion, like anger or sadness, they tend to have a big tantrum on the floor. And these tantrums can be a lot to observe, full of thrashing, screaming, and tears. But a child reacts like this because the emotion they’re feeling is uncomfortable, maybe even painful.

 

Of course, as adults, we feel emotions too, and those feelings can be just as overwhelming, uncomfortable, or even painful as they were when we were children, even if we don’t let ourselves react in such a big way.

But, sometimes, in our attempts to not give in to our emotions, we go too far: we run from them or suppress them — even if that harms us in the long run. Although there are many reasons we might suppress our emotions, one of them is that we are afraid of our emotions.

Fear of emotions is called “animotophobia. It is not an official term in the DSM-5-TR. Still, fearing your emotions can have a significant impact on your well-being.

 

 

 

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

At its core, emotional pain is an intense feeling of distress, anguish, or suffering that stems from non-physical sources. Unlike the ache from a stubbed toe or a headache, this type of pain originates from events or circumstances that hurt us deeply on the inside.

[Heather Shay]

ELATION

DEFINITION:

In high spirits; a state of exhilaration

[Heather Shay]

Fear of emotions, also known as emotion phobia, is when someone is unsure how to understand, regulate, or comfort their emotions. Some signs of fear of emotions include: Developing a pessimistic outlook, Avoiding activities or people, Experiencing big outbursts of anger or tears, Struggling to sleep, and Being irritable to be around.Although there are many reasons we might suppress our emotions, one of them is that we are afraid of our emotions. Fear of emotions is called “animotophobia. It is not an official term in the DSM-5-TR. Still, fearing your emotions can have a significant impact on your well-being.

[Heather Shay]

Satisfaction

Satisfaction. The feeling when something meets or exceeds your expectation. You feel satisfaction when you expected to get something, and then got it.

[Heather Shay]

CONTENTMENT

The relentless pursuit of happiness often overshadows the more subtle yet profound emotional state of contentment. While happiness may be a fleeting high, contentment is the gentle hum of satisfaction that resonates through the soul, offering a sustainable path to life satisfaction. Oscar Wilde's poignant observation encapsulates this truth: "True contentment is not having everything, but in being satisfied with everything you have."

[Heather Shay]

Interest is an emotion that piques an individual's curiosity, motivating them to approach novel, complex, but not necessarily pleasant stimuli

[Heather Shay]

The Power of Feeling our Feelings: a story of joy and pain

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Does “joy” feel like a distant memory or an intangible experience for you? 

Are you on the journey of seeking more joy in your life?

Maybe you’ve found this blog, as in your healing journey, “more joy” is the beacon that gets you through the tough times, and you are fearlessly on the quest to learn more about trauma, anxiety and depression and how to support a more joyous life.

If that sounds like you, then welcome, this post is for you, and if that doesn’t feel like you that’s okay too, I invite you to stay for a story.

Let me tell you a story about a woman named Ellie who came to therapy with the goal of “wanting to feel more joy + lightness in her life”.

She sat on the couch across from me…she was so eternally wise, and self-aware. She had worked so hard to get to this place of understanding herself, but she still felt stuck and nowhere closer to her joyful, fulfilled life.

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She came back session after session, explaining her struggles and breaking down the gritty details of who she was, until one day I said,

“Hey Ellie, is it okay if I slow you down and ask what you are feeling right now?”

Ellie responded with haste, “well I’m feeling sad because of…” and trailed off into her explanation. 

I paused her again in attempts to help her connect more with her emotional experience,

 “Ellie, are you sad right now? Where is the sadness, is it with you, are you feeling it?”

Ellie responded “well yeah I’m sad”, she paused, beginning to choke up not knowing what to say.

I chimed in with gentle support and a question that seemed to have changed everything for her.

“Ellie, I hear you are sad and I can understand how hard it is to feel stuck in that sadness.  I’m curious how your body is holding onto that sadness, and perhaps if there is room for you to feel it? Can you just for a moment stay with that sadness?”

For the first time in her therapy experience, Ellie was still, she took a moment to check inside and find her sadness…she was really being with her emotional experience.

Sometimes as humans we can be aware of feelings, but struggle to FEEL the feelings, tuning in to our emotions and letting them take up space.

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All of a sudden she felt her throat getting tighter, her heart sinking, and tears welling up in her eyes. She said, as she began to cry,

“ yeah I feel so sad because…”

I so ever gently interrupted her again “hey Ellie it’s okay, can we just let the sadness be there, it's SO important why, and also its SO important to just feel, so just feel sad my dear”.

Ellie, hearing this, felt her shoulders drop and soften in surrender, and spent the next minute or so letting her tears flow, crying, and being guided by me, to find support in her own breath and the pillows and blankets on the couch. This somatic release, was exactly what she needed.

She cried, while I held space, providing compassionate support and company, until Ellie felt a huge sense of relief wash over her body and exclaimed “woah that felt so cathartic, I feel lighter”. 

I cracked a very stereotypical nerdy therapist joke and Ellie let out a HUGE chuckle, beginning  to laugh deep into her belly, and that feeling of lightness transformed into a moment of JOY! Could it be?

Ellie settled into a feeling of calm after her chuckle with me and asked, “What just happened? For a moment there I felt so light and wow, I really laughed. Is that joy? How is that possible?”

I then began to share a bit of on emotions…."Let me explain the connection between our pain and joy. They might be more connected than you think!”

Emotions are an integral part of the human experience. They provide us with valuable information about ourselves and our environment, and they can motivate us to take action or change our behavior.

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However, it is common for people to try to avoid or suppress emotions such as sadness, anger, and fear.  They may try to explain it away, finding logical and “cognitive” ways to cope with the pain….

While this may seem like a reasonable strategy to avoid discomfort, it can actually have negative consequences, including a reduced ability to feel positive emotions.

Our emotions are interconnected and interdependent, they are all processed in the same areas of the brain. The neural pathways that process pain are called the nociceptive pathways. The nociceptive pathways send signals to the brain's pain center, the somatosensory cortex, which processes the sensory information and generates the experience of pain.

 

However, the same neural pathways that process pain can also process pleasure and joy. 

This is because the somatosensory cortex does not just process sensory information related to pain; it also processes sensory information related to other physical sensations, such as touch, temperature, and pressure. When we experience pleasure and joy, these sensory signals are processed in the same way as pain signals. However, instead of activating the pain center, they activate the brain's pleasure center.

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This means that the same sensory channels in the brain can be activated by both pain and pleasure, but the experience we have depends on which part of the brain is activated. When the pain center is activated, we experience pain, and when the pleasure center is activated, we experience pleasure and joy. Pain and joy are actually closely related to each other, cousins if you will! In other words, our emotional experiences are not isolated events, but rather a complex and dynamic system of interrelated experiences.

When we try to avoid or suppress our perceived negative emotions, we are essentially shutting down a part of our emotional experience. This can create a "numbing" effect, where we feel less overall emotion, both positive and negative. 

This is because the brain processes emotions as a whole, so if we try to suppress painful or uncomfortable emotions, it can also reduce the intensity and richness of positive emotions.

Research has shown that people who struggle to identify or express their emotions, particularly painful ones, often experience lower levels of overall emotional experience, including positive emotions. This is because our ability to experience positive emotions is dependent on our ability to process and regulate negative emotions. By suppressing negative emotions, we may be hindering our ability to fully experience positive emotions.

_____________________________

So, to wrap up this short story with a nice bow…

Ellie was able to FEEL into her sadness, thus allowing her to FEEL into the depths of her own experience of joy. She was activating “stuck” pain and moving through the experience, using those key areas of the brain, so her JOY was fully expressed as well.

This is why….I extend an invitation for you to FEEL it all my dear, the heavy and awful, the light, and all the emotions in between. These different parts of us, make up who we are.

If it feels too scary at first that's okay, maybe find a trusted friend or a therapist that can help support you in feeling safe  to express your emotions slowly, bit by bit, over time. 

And If you are ready to lean into those heavier feelings, let them out, because the pain that you may be avoiding feeling, just might be the very thing you need to feel, to then welcome and unlock the feeling of JOY.

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At Integrative Psychotherapy we help clients engage in therapy so they can feel more comfortable in their skin and befriend alllll their emotions.

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

Emotional stability is a personality trait that describes how calm, collected, and emotionally consistent someone is. It's the opposite of neuroticism, which is a personality trait that describes how much negative affect, emotional volatility, and mood fluctuation a person displays.