Trans Seniors Worry About Retirement, Fearing More Anti-Trans Legislation

[Carolyn Marie]

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/transgender-seniors-worry-about-retirement-old-age-amid-wave-of-anti-trans-legislation

 

Yeah, can you imagine being a transgender senior in FL, TX or most of the Midwest?  It would scare the hell out of me.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Ivy]

That could lead to a situation that I don't want to mention.

[KathyLauren]

I make no secret about being trans, though I don't advertise the fact.  But if I ever have to move into some kind of assisted living facility, I might just go stealth.  That is one reason I wanted to get all my documentation in order and to have GCS.  The idea of being subjected to anti-trans discrimination, especially in my living circumstances, scares me.

 

Right-wing politicians in this country are racing to catch up (or down, in this case) with Texas and Florida.  Things are okay for now where I am, but who knows how much longer that will last?  The first steps in anti-trans legislation have already been taken in two Canadian provinces.

[Charlize]

As a proud member of the 171000 senior trans folks i have no intention of moving south!  I feel for my brothers and sisters who live in states where hate seems to be encouraged,  As we become less self reliant with age there is a vulnerability that needs some compassion from others.  Pity that lack of compassion is growing for some.  More fallout from a party desperate to move back in time.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[awkward-yet-sweet]

While this stinks all around, I will add a bit of perspective. For 90% or more of my generation, I doubt that retirement will exist at all. It will mostly be a Boomer dream, a historical anomaly. My family is well-off, but even my husband has said, "I'm probably going to just drop dead at work someday.  There's no way I could ever quit."

 

Those who have had the opportunity to retire or count on being taken care of are fortunate, even with what is currently going on.

[Charlize]

From my perspective I remember thinking that retirement would never be an option.  My son seemingly feels that way as well and yet has worked towards having a pension.  We are fortunate that we saved after living frugally.  There are never any guarantees.  I didn't think i'd live this long after many close calls in construction and the onset of heart disease.  At 75 i'm still working the farm but fortunately if things get bad we can still get through.  If i have to enter some kind of assisted living i hope to find support there, just as i would hope children can find support.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[VickySGV]

I was actually in a conference with some people on this subject through the LGBTQ Center where I am on the board of directors.  Granted, this is in California which in the foreseeable future is not facing the medical issues of the other states, but still the population is aging.  The Los Angeles LGB Center (it does include the T though) opened a modified assisted living facility for senior adults back in 2018 and a year later opened a "temporary" housing facility for homeless young people and has created programs that link the two facilities which are across a narrow street from each other.  As part of their housing contract, the young people give physical help to the older people who in turn mentor the younger ones in many ways such as school work, or employment seeking and there is even a musical group made up of both age groups.  Foster Grand-parenting is also a wonderful option that just happens.  The older people have each other to relate to since they would not fit into Cis groups as well.  For senior Trans people the others simply knowing and accepting that they had a childhood in a different gender, relieves the stress and stealth issues that make even developing memory situations all the harder on the seniors. 

 

The Seniors group at my LGBTQ Center is doing some ground work on seeing how our Center can develop senior resources, including possibly an entire retirement center in our service area which can work as a training center for people who are LGBTQ and allies to enter the senior health care fields, and possibly address the homeless youth in our areas as well. 

My ex-spouse who is Cis has begun developing memory problems and has moved into an assisted living facility, in her case 90% for the purpose of having mental stimulation that will keep her type of dementia under tight control.  I have visited her there and people love her there, but she has spoken about me being Trans, which is OK, and the times I have visited her there have been fine, but I would not fit in to that environment even with the State mandated quality care I would have from the staff.  The other OLD folks and I would have little in common I am afraid which would totally set the old boat here adrift for me.

[Ivy]

@VickySGVThat sounds like a wonderful way to address this.  the young helping the old and learning from them.

 

It's a queer version of the traditional way, that has unfortunately been lost by much of our society.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

1 hour ago, Ivy said:

That sounds like a wonderful way to address this.  the young helping the old and learning from them.

It's a queer version of the traditional way, that has unfortunately been lost by much of our society.

 

I agree.  Just as people (LGBTQ+ & straight/cis) are finding new ways of making families, I'm hopeful that we'll find new ways of caring for older folks.  Intergenerational chosen family.  It offers stability to all, and a chance for the older ones to pass on some wisdom.  I think that American society is losing a lot by having older folks living away from the rest of the family. 

 

For my part, I'm hoping that if I get to be that age (assuming the apocalypse/2nd coming doesn't happen first), that my stepkids will look after me.  With what I've seen of and heard about the various assisted living facility types, there's just no way I could survive that environment socially or emotionally.

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I think that American society is losing a lot by having older folks living away from the rest of the family.

I would agree.

My siblings and I took care of my Alzheimer mother in our homes till her death.  And I spent a couple months living with one of my daughters when I was going through several surgeries.  

But it doesn't have to be blood kin.  We need to look out for each other.  The world would be so much a better place.

[Carolyn Marie]

@VickySGV, that's great work that y'all are doing over there.  The Center has come a long way from when I was last there 10-12 years ago to see Dr. Maddie.  I hope they do build that senior living facility some day.  It will be hugely popular and successful, I think.

 

Carolyn Marie

[VickySGV]

1 hour ago, Carolyn Marie said:

I hope they do build that senior living facility some day.  It will be hugely popular and successful, I think.

 

The Center in Los Angeles has been in operation since 2018 and is doing a wonderful job from reports of  some of the residents I have met.  Plus what I have seen from the times I have gone into meeting rooms in an attached structure that the Chorus uses or performs in from time to time. Three members of Trans Chorus of Los Angeles have been tenants of the Youth home in the recent past as well.

 

Ours out here in the San Gabriel Valley, is still a dream being put on paper with funding being researched.  There are two communities in the area that have pledged their support as well, and the State or a couple of HMO's may have some funding depending on how the proposal is written up.  Who knows!!  Conversion of a semi abandoned facility in those cities is being looked at.

[Susan R]

On 8/24/2023 at 10:33 PM, Carolyn Marie said:

can you imagine being a transgender senior in FL, TX or most of the Midwest?

Short answer…Not in this life!  Those states are toxic to us thru and thru…at least for now.

[Stacy S.]

On 8/25/2023 at 7:45 PM, awkward-yet-sweet said:

 My family is well-off, but even my husband has said, "I'm probably going to just drop dead at work someday.  There's no way I could ever quit."

 

Those who have had the opportunity to retire or count on being taken care of are fortunate, even with what is currently going on.

When I came out, in the nineties, it was said that the average lifespan of a trans individual was 32 years. Now they say the same, but only for black people. At any rate, I had no plans of living well past 32. I have seen many girls die. My long-term partner died at 51 years of age. I am 54. 

This is like the Squid game. We have played this far with wits or charm or by sheer luck. 

[Betty K]

35 minutes ago, Stacy S. said:

When I came out, in the nineties, it was said that the average lifespan of a trans individual was 32 years. Now they say the same, but only for black people.

 

Hi Stacy, nice to know you. I just want to make clear that, though people may say that about trans women of color, the statistic is false. There was an art show by a trans woman of color recently about that very fact -- I wish I could find the link again. In the meantime a quick internet search brought up this article:

https://19thnews.org/2022/08/black-trans-women-life-expectancy-false/

[awkward-yet-sweet]

43 minutes ago, Stacy S. said:

When I came out, in the nineties, it was said that the average lifespan of a trans individual was 32 years. Now they say the same, but only for black people. At any rate, I had no plans of living well past 32. I have seen many girls die. My long-term partner died at 51 years of age. I am 54. 

This is like the Squid game. We have played this far with wits or charm or by sheer luck. 

 

I suppose it could still be true. I'm in my early thirties and I was nearly killed last year. Hopefully that isn't an event that happens again, but I'm not exactly sure. I think the world is getting to be more dangerous, not less. 

[Stacy S.]

6 minutes ago, Betty K said:

 

the statistic is false. There was an art show by a trans woman of color recently about that very fact -- I wish I could find the link again. In the meantime a quick internet search brought up this article:

https://19thnews.org/2022/08/black-trans-women-life-expectancy-false/

Howdy!

I remember that it originated in Argentina. There were also very low estimates for lesbians and gays, something like 45-47 years. Later it was found that the latter was Christian propaganda. 

That is a good article. I keep hearing all kinds of rumors, like one had heard that "going to the bottom surgery halves your life expectancy". What does that even mean? So, if LE is 80 years and you go to surgery when you are 60, you have been 20 years dead? Makes absolutely no sense. 

I remember that the same source said that some people in health care had heard of the low LE with trans people and they are like clueless what to do with elderly trans people flocking into their services. 

 

Regards, Stacy

[Betty K]

14 minutes ago, Stacy S. said:

So, if LE is 80 years and you go to surgery when you are 60, you have been 20 years dead? Makes absolutely no sense. 

 

Brilliantly reasoned! I lol'd.