Greetings!

[Stacy S.]

Wow, what can I say. OK, I transitioned two decades ago, so I am like a trans elder. I discovered that there is a lot of trans topics on youtube. Things are getting heated in many parts of the planet. I have traveled somewhat and I have been in so-called hard countries and so-called easy countries. I have been having a lot of health issues in life and I am heading for a knee surgery. I have been wondering whether I have to come out. There are practical issues. A lot of years, a lot of issues, right. 

But, I was a preacher in a religion that uses Kingdom Halls in Riverside County, California in 1997 when I was actually outed, when I was a bit, well, overdressed for the occasion. I lost my position in that religion, I lost my job, I lost everything, I could not afford rent any longer, I became homeless and I had to leave the country, even. 
I came to where I am now, Finland. April air hit me at the airport like a fist. I had super hard time adjusting. I found a place in a bad neighbourhood, the whole neighbourhood turned against me. I earned money doing survival work, but I could not use a bank account. I had like 1000 mark notes stashed at my home. Then my home was burglarized. I legit had a mental breakdown. 

I was hanging with a pro that had AIDS, we were like a couple. People treated her like a leper, because she had the disease. I was not afraid, I said, I have seen things, so we ended up together. At any rate, she heard that a junkie was bragging of rolling a t-woman and she sold him a bad batch of heroin and he died. 

At that point in time, I left the country to spend some time in Russia cooling down.  When I came back, people thought I was Russian. That label has stuck with me. I don't usually mind, but I do get hate for that. 

I had my transitioning and at that time it was in a big, old insane asylum. I went there 105 times. The preciding doctor had his office half way the corridor and there was a chess piece Queen by his door. For me it was a warning. Do not mess with the Queen or your game is over. With many people the game was over, too. Now I was there, the whole building has a different purpose. I thought that I am a rookie that passed the board to the other end, now I am the Queen or whatever I want to be. 

At any rate, it was ridiculous. One psychiatrist shouted that I was the most difficult person in the whole hospital. That was a tall order. Some girls evern ratted other girls. The psychiatrist slammed a folder full of documents of girls ratting on other girls saying "Is this the community you want to put your trust on". I wonder. I really wonder. 

 

Back then the state had to approve all candidates. The whole process was highly illegal. I got approved for some reason. 

 

Back then many girls went to Estonia, the United Kingdom (Dr. Dalrymple) or Thailand. Estonia was cheap, some 40000 Finnish marks. My surgeon said that girls that have been to Tallinn come to her for revisions all the time. All the time. I was like, what is this, Estonia isn't such a wonderful place after all. People were not telling all they knew. I had no choice anyhow, my money was gone with the burglary. 

 

I went to the SRS and I had massive complications. I can probably talk about it in later time. Anyhow, my attitude is, don't go to the surgery unless you cannot live without it. This said, I think the surgery really meant a lot to me, in positive way. All that positive was dimmed so much the first couple of years with my complications. 

 

I had to give up my survival work, I went to janitorial or being a personal assistant to disabled people. My dear partner died of AIDS 2011. I moved to a little resort town and lived there a decade. Then I retired early, and I had a good deal on an apartment elsewhere. 

 

I have been to South America and India. I have jumped with parachute twice. I have seen the world. My body suffers, though. I think that it is the stress of all this. 

My parents had a super negative view of this all for the first 20 years. Now they are like OK, I cannot ask for more. There are some family members I haven't seen in decades. This is a difficult family. There is an adoption down the line and it went really well, but my blood ties are like to a crime syndicate. Do I even want to be close with an uncle that was found trying to strangle his wife. That is a little bit much to digest for any family. And he is not the only criminal. 

 

I am at EET time zone and it is getting late, so I am hitting the hay right now. TTL

 

 

 

[Charlize]

Welcome Stacy.  i recently had hip surgery which as i understand is more difficult than the knee.  It has taken a month but i'm walking without a cane for the first time in years.  I'm glad you've joined us here.  We have members all over the spectrum but i've found this site welcoming to all.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Delcina B]

Welcome Stacy! Glad you're here! Reading your story, I must say your life hasn't been boring. I'm sure your experiences will benefit many here. Hope you find the wonderful advice, support & acceptance here as I have.

 

Hugs!

Delcina 

[April Marie]

Welcome to the forums, Stacy, from a newbie just learning who she is. Thank you for sharing your amazing story and I look forward to any thoughts or ideas you might be willing to share.

[Ivy]

Welcome Stacy

[Stacy S.]

My doctor said that the knee surgery will be painful, because I have fibromyalgia and there is the difficulty of me living alone. I was interviewed and I will be interviewed, but the topic of my SRS was never brought up. I think it happened so long time ago that it does not matter. I had compartment syndrome on my leg as a complication and pretty big scars left and all doctors always ask me about scars on my leg. 

 

That is the darned thing with this, you get all diseases typical for women. And when they are womens' ailments, the official healthcare belittles them. It goes without saying, that my mother immediately used it as a basis to attack: you should quit hormones, you should have not transitioned, now look, you have all these diseases that comes with being a woman. Then again, she has suggested that the reason for my health problems is menopause. 

I figure old people are like that, they just blurt out what is on their mind. 

I do not like to walk long distances due to my knee pain, but I use bicycle or public transport. 

 

[Heather Shay]

@Stacy my spouse has fibro and is such a big deal to have to deal with. Had friends who had knee surgery and though painful, it was well worth the pain to be able to walk without pain. 

You've been through so much, wish I could take away some of the pain.

[Stacy S.]

I appreciate your concern. I have to get fit before the surgery. 
My leg has bothered me a lot. One of the complications from the SRS was that they had to cut my leg open to let it swell and then they stitched it back into shape again. 

[gennee]

Hello Stacy and welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

🙂

[Stacy S.]

1 hour ago, gennee said:

Hello Stacy and welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

🙂

You are welcome! 

[Stacy S.]

Nurse called me regarding the knee surgery. I figured that sooner or later they will find out that I had had my bottom surgery at the same hospital. I was relieved that the doctor did not bring it up. Now, nurse did and started asking questions about it. I asked, if I needed to quit my hormones before the surgery like I did back then. She said no, and said that it is no longer necessary with the sex reassignment surgery, either. That was a bit surprising. The same hospital has not performed those surgeries in ages. I started thinking that it would be very surprising to see anyone of the same staff in that hospital, because my surgery was 21 years ago. Surely the surgeon has already retired. 

[Ivy]

5 hours ago, Stacy S. said:

I asked, if I needed to quit my hormones before the surgery like I did back then. She said no, and said that it is no longer necessary with the sex reassignment surgery, either.

I've not had SRS, but I have had surgery here at the VA.  I had to not drink alcohol for a time before, but kept my patches on the whole time.

[Stacy S.]

3 hours ago, Ivy said:

I've not had SRS, but I have had surgery here at the VA.  I had to not drink alcohol for a time before, but kept my patches on the whole time.

I have heard of one trans woman in Finland, who, for unknown reasons, did not quit hormones prior to surgery. She died due to blood clots. 

The nurse said that they use a blood thinning medicine.