Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

My Thanksgiving Dinner plans got changed drastically----


VickySGV

Recommended Posts

  • Admin

My Thanksgiving Dinner plans got changed drastically because of an electrical wiring problem at the home of the people I was going to be with tonight.  They live 80 miles from me and were going to have to go out for dinner at a chain restaurant near them for dinner.  I have one of the same chain restaurants a little over a mile from my house and so we decided to call off the dinner today and reschedule it possibly as Christmas Dinner which was a good alternative.  All of my more local family members had their plans set in concrete and could not include me at the last minute, so another restaurant nearer to me where the wait staff knows me and is happy to serve me, became my source of a somewhat traditional turkey dinner all by my lonesome there.  At the restaurant there was another group near me that at first made me uncomfortable with their “conservative” conversation going on but it turned my mind onto something that I think was meaningful in the long run.  (The waitress who was serving both that group and me, and who knows my Gender Status was a little uncomfortable with them as well and would  have moved me if there had been a way to do it.)


The group was complaining about the Medical Profession and the conditions of the Pandemic Years where the Political Leaders and Medical Experts had been in opposition to each other with the medical people giving the true leadership that was needed during the time.  Some of it revolved around the (perceived) hardships and the common problems of lower income people in getting medical service and also not having the educational preparation for understanding how medical science worked in the conditions of a pandemic.  They had a mix up in beliefs that the Politicians knew better about medical issues when it meant the citizen had to take precautions such as quarantine and social distancing, and the changes in how business was done.  The Politician was deemed to be the social superior and when the politician was overruled it was an infringement on human rights.


What came to my mind on this was that the Trans legal issues we are seeing are as much a revenge and power tactic against the medical profession as it is actually on Trans people where the politicians can assert that they know better than a fully trained medical professional.  Noting that most of the legislation we are seeing came from sources that were shown up for ignorance and fear during futile attempts at.  The attempts to do this are buttressed up by conservative minor members of the medical profession from areas where health care is not up to the current standards of best practice and where there is faith based resistance to those standards.  Areas in which the mortality rates for women in childbirth are highest, and where health education for young adults is limited under a variety of premises of morality.
Yes, I can see this, our Trans problems are as much a power play against the Medical Profession and we are small seemingly cheap pawns in the battle against Doctors who made the 2020 to 2023 period of life miserable for people unable to see beyond just their inconvenience.  It is the ones who lived and did not become seriously sick or lost loved ones to Covid and who just do not see the bigger picture.  

 

Link to comment

Well.... we probably feel differently about the COVID experience, as well as rural medical care, that's for sure.  If the COVID experience and transgender issues are somehow linked in folks' minds, I think it reveals a downside to the intense connection of the LGBTQ+ community to the Democrat Party. 

 

For me, 2020 was a very intense year.  I didn't really think about politics much before then, and I've had time to take stock of what I saw and experienced. 

 

Contrary to how it is often presented, the "doctors" are not a monolithic group.  There are plenty of physicians who disagreed with the official narrative and desired to do things differently....the system simply doesn't allow dissent in public anymore. Even from people with decent qualifications.  Official corruption, pharmaceutical industry corruption, educational system corruption, conflicts of interest, and propaganda are powerful enough to wreck the careers of people who dare to differ or speak out.  

 

My husband's mother is one of the dissenting physicians.  She was actually retired before 2020, after nearly 40 years of practice.  She studied at Vanderbilt, worked for the military and later at a VA hospital.  So, not exactly somebody lacking experience or qualifications.  Just before COVID she became our county coroner, which was supposed to be a part-time thing.  It dragged her back into full-time work as the main doctor at our county clinic in addition to public office. 

 

She and I disagree about a TON of things and she's about as abrasive as physicians can get.   But I credit her for two things.  First, she kept our county safe from COVID by very unconventional means.  She was aware of the virus already in 2019, and we quarantined very early 2020 while everybody else was still in "don't worry, be happy" mode with open borders.  Sheriff and Defense closed the roads with checkpoints, and kept a lid on the virus and civil unrest.  The quarantine bought us time, and she used that time to study.  She implemented alternative treatments that worked, and convinced everybody to proactively take care of their health.  Our border quarantine procedures and our vigorous local forces kept our economy going and prevented lockdowns and shutdowns and financial ruin for families.  Kids went to school, people went to churches and stores mostly like normal.  She also convinced the county to allocate the money needed to establish our own clinic...a huge thing in a rural area.  She saved lives, saved our local economy, and helped to keep us free.  I can't give her enough credit for her service to us - a service she even voluntarily performs without salary.

 

Second, she willingly and without reservations hired my friend to be a nurse at the new clinic.  My friend is MtF transgender, and my husband's mother is very, very conservative.  But she was very firm in her belief about hiring people solely for their abilities and qualifications, regardless of identity.  She's also very firm about treating all patients respectfully and providing the best possible care at a very low price.  My friend has faced a couple of minor rude incidents, and she's been 100% supported.  She's also not ever misgendered at work.  I hadn't expected that.

 

At least from what I've seen, life isn't black and white.  All the doctors aren't right, and all the politicians aren't either.  Not all "best practices" are necessarily best, or best for everybody everywhere.  One size doesn't fit all.  Science is a process, and differing voices are part of it.  Rural areas aren't all benighted and backward.  Rural voices are not necessarily uneducated, nor are urban voices necessarily erudite.  The value of an education is dependent on the character of its user.  Not all conservatives are rabid bigots....even the abrasive ones.  Life is mostly shades of gray, and also quite full of surprises.

Link to comment

@VickySGV, My current doctor is very conservative, and we don't get along well at all. Not that I am left wing, as I am a moderate. 

 

I happen to be intersex, and at has been stated as such using various terminology in my medical records all my life. I developed wide hips and breasts during puberty that was 'corrected' with two years of testosterone treatments in my teens (it didn't work). 

Long story short, I convinced my doctor to explore the extent of me being intersex (outwardly I don't have a penis, and I have labia and the crease). 

 

An ultrasound found I do possess a uterus and fallopian tubes, but my blood work came back as XY chromosomes. I have PMDS. 

 

Basically the only male parts I have are testes and a prostate. Chromosomes as well. 

 

My conservative doctor based solely off my chromosomes has stated that I was correctly gendered at birth and sent me to a psychiatrist to 'treat me' for my gender dysphoria ( I stopped seeing her). 

 

It seems the far right conservative narrative is influencing medical diagnosis instead of science. And doctors are listening. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Wow, @VickySGV, that is a remarkable insight!  I think there is a lot of truth to it.  So basically the target is the medical profession and we are just collateral damage.  Which explains why the politicians don't give a rodent's derriere about us.

Link to comment

I think there's a lot of truth in Vicky's insights. IMHO, the reality is that most politicians really don't care about anyone or any group except in context of what power or benefit they can derive from that person or group.

 

I am also firmly of the opinion that the elimination of earmarks set the stage for the parties' domination by the extreme fringes. When earmarks were strongly in play, there was incentive for members of Congress to compromise in order to deliver funds to their constituent districts. The party in power got more, but both sides benefitted and had to work together.

 

When earmarks were eliminated, all issues became focused on political ideology. The focus is now on who's ideology is best and the ability, even the need, to collaborate and work together disappears. Now it's just a focus on maintaining political power by being in the majority. The more you can denigrate the other side, the better chance you have of defeating them in elections. People no longer focus on what their representatives bring to the district, they look at what issues can help keep them in power.

 

We are a small, easy and emotion-evoking target. 

 

Just my own $.02.

Link to comment
9 hours ago, VickySGV said:

our Trans problems are as much a power play against the Medical Profession and we are small seemingly cheap pawns in the battle against Doctors who made the 2020 to 2023 period of life miserable for people unable to see beyond just their inconvenience.

We are certainly the "cheap pawns" here.  But I'm not sure it is against the medical establishment per se.  I think it's more against authority in general.  But the irony is that they simply want to replace one authority with another (at least in my opinion) more repressive one.

 

Why does the government have to regulate trans people in the first place?  We're just people like everyone else that should be able to get health care when they need it.  And how is the way I dress, or where I pee going to bring down the republic?  It's all just a distraction to keep people from thinking about existential problems like climate change and wars.

 

We have starving children and hospitals being bombed, while a few wealthy people make plans to colonize Mars.  I sometimes think that if we are doomed, we deserve it.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@VickySGV I am so sad you had to have a Thanksgiving alone. You are an amazing person and my heart goes out to you. You are my heroine in so many ways. Thank you for ALL YOU DO. You a such a selfless person.

Link to comment

@VickySGV that is an astute insight. By extension, further observe there is retaliation targeting many of those construed as intellectual - medical professionals, medical researchers, as well as educators, climate scientists, etc. 

 

When I was a youngster I had a job which employed Cambodian day laborers, many of whom I befriended. They had many horror stories about life under Pol Pot, which they relayed rather dispassionately and matter-of-factly. I got into reading books on Cambodian history to better grasp their perspective. During the terrible reign of Pol Pot, anyone perceived as intellectual was eliminated. This included anyone who wore glasses as they were stereotyped as intellectuals!

 

I am not comparing contemporary USA directly to Pol Pot Cambodia. I am simply observing that there are factors of tyranny which intersect across time and circumstance. On the other hand, those leaders throughout history (and I am not claiming any of them were perfect) who have been designated as "enlightened" embraced progress, scholarship, science and the arts. 

 

And, fwiw, as you described your solo Thanksgiving dinner excursion, I mentally pictured myself there with you in spirit :)

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Heather Shay said:

I am so sad you had to have a Thanksgiving alone. You are an amazing person and my heart goes out to you. You are my heroine in so many ways. Thank you for ALL YOU DO. You a such a selfless person.

Sorry, @VickySGV. That's tough, but I like how you made the best of it. My housemate caught covid bad and so I stayed in my room . . . but then made a long facetime phone call to my favorite parts of the family and got passed to every hand and face—that was great. And I tested negative today. One day at a time. Love to you. "Heroine" indeed.  —Davie

Link to comment
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 315 Guests (See full list)

    • EasyE
    • Betty K
    • christinakristy2021
    • JenniferB
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.1k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,092
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Selena729
    Newest Member
    Selena729
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Angelo christoper
      Angelo christoper
      (38 years old)
    2. Joslynn
      Joslynn
      (61 years old)
    3. Kaltia_Atlas
      Kaltia_Atlas
    4. Rika_Lil
      Rika_Lil
      (40 years old)
    5. Summerluv
      Summerluv
      (19 years old)
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      My boss is in a panic. His business is a couple straws away from breaking a camel in half. He's just handling the stress very poorly.   My dad, though. He's handling things pretty well, as long as I continue to don't get massively offended by being called: son, boy, etc. His eldest is leaving the State and looks so different than he's been used to over the years. I haven't told him I'm on HRT, but to be fair the changes haven't been massive. I've always had boobs, more so after COVID weight gain and made more obvious with its loss, but now I'm not hiding them--and obviously wearing a bra. The estrogen has done some work, but nothing major (sadly). I think the biggest HRT changes have been my skin and a mild amount of fat redistribution.   Today I'm wearing my cheater, I almost have cleavage! :D I need to get another t-shirt bra to keep a good rotation. I only have two, one push-up, and the rest are unlined (great for Summer, but not great for my Summer wardrobe ).
    • Justine76
      Thank you so much April! 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Glad to hear it. Abby
    • JenniferB
      I eat a ketogenic diet and have had no problems. I don't know about your case but I suspect it is the estrogen. Research the types of ways to take estrogen. Pay close attention to the bloodwork results. If they are not satisfactory, bring it up with your doctor. I take injectables, which are fully covered by insurance. It may not be the route for you, but something to consider. I emphasize to do your research and good luck. You can solve this. Be persistent.    Jennifer
    • April Marie
      I'm in a magenta blouse under a baby blue buttoned cardigan - still a little cool here in the northeast today - with dark blue jeans. Oh, and my favorite flame colored copper feather earrings.
    • April Marie
      What a wonderful photo! You look gorgeous!!!
    • Justine76
      White crop top and capri jeans ;) Finaly tricked the face id on my phone, "that's not you" lol.
    • JenniferB
      This is my opinion, so take it for that. Fatigue is based more on what you eat. Eat a more healthy diet, and stay away from ultra-processed foods and that should help. Think of eating the way we did a couple hundred years ago before the industrial revolution. It's just a thought.   Jennifer
    • April Marie
      Welcome back, Jennifer! As a relative newbie to the forum and to transition, I look forward to getting to know you and share in your experiences.
    • JenniferB
      I like the fact that you found support and have close members of your life. That is very important. No matter where you are on your journey, you have to have the support. Or you drift, and you question yourself.    Looking forward to your progress,   Jennifer
    • JenniferB
      The source of estrogen can matter. I started HRT at age 50. My avatar was the result. I started on pills, and moved to estradiol valerate injectables. However, there was a shortage, and I had to use a compounding pharmacy. The estradiol would evaporate in the vial, and couldn't get 5 doses out of it. I eventually move to the patch.    Over time I realized the patch wasn't working properly. And, the last time I visited my doctor he told me my estrogen levels were low. He asked me if I wanted to change to estradiol valerate. I jumped for joy. So I started my script for estradiol valerate. My prescription was ready, but I didn't receive my script for needles for a couple of weeks. So I bought my own (legal). I started with intramuscular injections. This requires a longer needle, and the estrogen is released into the muscles. It has a powerful effect right away but isn't stable. So by the time I took my next injection 2 weeks later, the estradiol in my bloodstream was almost gone. When I finally received my script for my needles, the needle was shorter. So the injection was subcutaneous. What is different with this type of injection as that the estrogen released is more even over 2 weeks (before the next injection). Interesting the syringe/needles my doctor prescribed are so much higher in quality. I am going to follow his path. My breasts are now perky again. And I will let my doctor guide me.    I wish you success on your journey. Let us know how things are proceeding. I am happy for you.   Jennifer 
    • JenniferB
      Patches are the HRT method of least risk. Be aware of your estrogen levels with bloodwork. My doctor took me off patches because my estrogen levels were low. And put me on estradiol valerate injections. I have to say that made a big difference. Be aware of the changes. I don't know your age, or circumstances, but I would research available options of administering hormones.    There are other methods of taking estrogen, and you should research all of them. When my doctor changed my prescription to estradiol valerate amazing things happened. He was slow to prescribe the needles so I ordered them online. I have used injectables before. Getting the nerve to poke myself with the needle was a great hurdle to overcome.   As far as a rollercoaster feeling, I never felt that as much as the excitement of finally starting HRT. That overrode everything. I couldn't focus on how my emotions changed, for excitement trumped all emotions. Let the emotions of starting HRT settle, then make the decisions you feel will best benefit you.    Good luck with your journey,   Jennifer
    • Mmindy
      Welcome back Jennifer    It’s nice to meet you and I look forward to your postings.    Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KatieSC
      Regarding the candidates...this is the best either side could do since Obama was President? Biden is supportive, but when I see really solid gains, like ensuring that all transition services are covered by all insurance companies, I will believe the support.   I do not think anybody is trying to destroy the country, but with the current polarization, there is no compromise. There is this "you are either with us or against us" mantra being touted. We can moan all we want about Trump and his ilk, but face it: They are very well coordinated on a national level. They currently have a number of states with a super-majority.   What set all of this in motion? I suspect that there is a lot of things that got under the skin of a lot of conservative folks. Some of it our own fault, and some of it not. Make no mistake, we are in trouble. If they successfully ban child and adolescent transition nationally, I suspect we will be next. Now they may not pass a law, but if they eliminate the requirement that insurance companies cover the costs of medications, procedures, and surgeries, there will be fewer folks transitioning. The services may still be available, but it will be a cash only business. There are already a fair number of healthcare providers who will not accept the insurance reimbursement rates. There are a number of folks that will lack the resources. That is how you limit our existence. We will still exist, but it will get much harder.
    • JenniferB
      I talked to my doctor about this. And I was frank. He told me I was in a grey area, and I agree. I scored a 3, but alcohol has not controlled my life. I won't drink when I have obligations. But, when I can relax, I drink sometimes. I can control it. I intentionally don't buy alcohol before I go to work at the hospital. When I get off work I can't buy it. And this is by design.    Do I have an alcohol problem? Yes. Can I control it? Yes. Does AA help? Yes. But I consider myself a borderline alcoholic. And yes I'd love to stop and AA works for this. I found I don't need the 12 steps, attending is enough to stop the craving.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...