Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

My Thanksgiving Dinner plans got changed drastically----


VickySGV

Recommended Posts

  • Admin

My Thanksgiving Dinner plans got changed drastically because of an electrical wiring problem at the home of the people I was going to be with tonight.  They live 80 miles from me and were going to have to go out for dinner at a chain restaurant near them for dinner.  I have one of the same chain restaurants a little over a mile from my house and so we decided to call off the dinner today and reschedule it possibly as Christmas Dinner which was a good alternative.  All of my more local family members had their plans set in concrete and could not include me at the last minute, so another restaurant nearer to me where the wait staff knows me and is happy to serve me, became my source of a somewhat traditional turkey dinner all by my lonesome there.  At the restaurant there was another group near me that at first made me uncomfortable with their “conservative” conversation going on but it turned my mind onto something that I think was meaningful in the long run.  (The waitress who was serving both that group and me, and who knows my Gender Status was a little uncomfortable with them as well and would  have moved me if there had been a way to do it.)


The group was complaining about the Medical Profession and the conditions of the Pandemic Years where the Political Leaders and Medical Experts had been in opposition to each other with the medical people giving the true leadership that was needed during the time.  Some of it revolved around the (perceived) hardships and the common problems of lower income people in getting medical service and also not having the educational preparation for understanding how medical science worked in the conditions of a pandemic.  They had a mix up in beliefs that the Politicians knew better about medical issues when it meant the citizen had to take precautions such as quarantine and social distancing, and the changes in how business was done.  The Politician was deemed to be the social superior and when the politician was overruled it was an infringement on human rights.


What came to my mind on this was that the Trans legal issues we are seeing are as much a revenge and power tactic against the medical profession as it is actually on Trans people where the politicians can assert that they know better than a fully trained medical professional.  Noting that most of the legislation we are seeing came from sources that were shown up for ignorance and fear during futile attempts at.  The attempts to do this are buttressed up by conservative minor members of the medical profession from areas where health care is not up to the current standards of best practice and where there is faith based resistance to those standards.  Areas in which the mortality rates for women in childbirth are highest, and where health education for young adults is limited under a variety of premises of morality.
Yes, I can see this, our Trans problems are as much a power play against the Medical Profession and we are small seemingly cheap pawns in the battle against Doctors who made the 2020 to 2023 period of life miserable for people unable to see beyond just their inconvenience.  It is the ones who lived and did not become seriously sick or lost loved ones to Covid and who just do not see the bigger picture.  

 

Link to comment

Well.... we probably feel differently about the COVID experience, as well as rural medical care, that's for sure.  If the COVID experience and transgender issues are somehow linked in folks' minds, I think it reveals a downside to the intense connection of the LGBTQ+ community to the Democrat Party. 

 

For me, 2020 was a very intense year.  I didn't really think about politics much before then, and I've had time to take stock of what I saw and experienced. 

 

Contrary to how it is often presented, the "doctors" are not a monolithic group.  There are plenty of physicians who disagreed with the official narrative and desired to do things differently....the system simply doesn't allow dissent in public anymore. Even from people with decent qualifications.  Official corruption, pharmaceutical industry corruption, educational system corruption, conflicts of interest, and propaganda are powerful enough to wreck the careers of people who dare to differ or speak out.  

 

My husband's mother is one of the dissenting physicians.  She was actually retired before 2020, after nearly 40 years of practice.  She studied at Vanderbilt, worked for the military and later at a VA hospital.  So, not exactly somebody lacking experience or qualifications.  Just before COVID she became our county coroner, which was supposed to be a part-time thing.  It dragged her back into full-time work as the main doctor at our county clinic in addition to public office. 

 

She and I disagree about a TON of things and she's about as abrasive as physicians can get.   But I credit her for two things.  First, she kept our county safe from COVID by very unconventional means.  She was aware of the virus already in 2019, and we quarantined very early 2020 while everybody else was still in "don't worry, be happy" mode with open borders.  Sheriff and Defense closed the roads with checkpoints, and kept a lid on the virus and civil unrest.  The quarantine bought us time, and she used that time to study.  She implemented alternative treatments that worked, and convinced everybody to proactively take care of their health.  Our border quarantine procedures and our vigorous local forces kept our economy going and prevented lockdowns and shutdowns and financial ruin for families.  Kids went to school, people went to churches and stores mostly like normal.  She also convinced the county to allocate the money needed to establish our own clinic...a huge thing in a rural area.  She saved lives, saved our local economy, and helped to keep us free.  I can't give her enough credit for her service to us - a service she even voluntarily performs without salary.

 

Second, she willingly and without reservations hired my friend to be a nurse at the new clinic.  My friend is MtF transgender, and my husband's mother is very, very conservative.  But she was very firm in her belief about hiring people solely for their abilities and qualifications, regardless of identity.  She's also very firm about treating all patients respectfully and providing the best possible care at a very low price.  My friend has faced a couple of minor rude incidents, and she's been 100% supported.  She's also not ever misgendered at work.  I hadn't expected that.

 

At least from what I've seen, life isn't black and white.  All the doctors aren't right, and all the politicians aren't either.  Not all "best practices" are necessarily best, or best for everybody everywhere.  One size doesn't fit all.  Science is a process, and differing voices are part of it.  Rural areas aren't all benighted and backward.  Rural voices are not necessarily uneducated, nor are urban voices necessarily erudite.  The value of an education is dependent on the character of its user.  Not all conservatives are rabid bigots....even the abrasive ones.  Life is mostly shades of gray, and also quite full of surprises.

Link to comment

@VickySGV, My current doctor is very conservative, and we don't get along well at all. Not that I am left wing, as I am a moderate. 

 

I happen to be intersex, and at has been stated as such using various terminology in my medical records all my life. I developed wide hips and breasts during puberty that was 'corrected' with two years of testosterone treatments in my teens (it didn't work). 

Long story short, I convinced my doctor to explore the extent of me being intersex (outwardly I don't have a penis, and I have labia and the crease). 

 

An ultrasound found I do possess a uterus and fallopian tubes, but my blood work came back as XY chromosomes. I have PMDS. 

 

Basically the only male parts I have are testes and a prostate. Chromosomes as well. 

 

My conservative doctor based solely off my chromosomes has stated that I was correctly gendered at birth and sent me to a psychiatrist to 'treat me' for my gender dysphoria ( I stopped seeing her). 

 

It seems the far right conservative narrative is influencing medical diagnosis instead of science. And doctors are listening. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Wow, @VickySGV, that is a remarkable insight!  I think there is a lot of truth to it.  So basically the target is the medical profession and we are just collateral damage.  Which explains why the politicians don't give a rodent's derriere about us.

Link to comment

I think there's a lot of truth in Vicky's insights. IMHO, the reality is that most politicians really don't care about anyone or any group except in context of what power or benefit they can derive from that person or group.

 

I am also firmly of the opinion that the elimination of earmarks set the stage for the parties' domination by the extreme fringes. When earmarks were strongly in play, there was incentive for members of Congress to compromise in order to deliver funds to their constituent districts. The party in power got more, but both sides benefitted and had to work together.

 

When earmarks were eliminated, all issues became focused on political ideology. The focus is now on who's ideology is best and the ability, even the need, to collaborate and work together disappears. Now it's just a focus on maintaining political power by being in the majority. The more you can denigrate the other side, the better chance you have of defeating them in elections. People no longer focus on what their representatives bring to the district, they look at what issues can help keep them in power.

 

We are a small, easy and emotion-evoking target. 

 

Just my own $.02.

Link to comment
9 hours ago, VickySGV said:

our Trans problems are as much a power play against the Medical Profession and we are small seemingly cheap pawns in the battle against Doctors who made the 2020 to 2023 period of life miserable for people unable to see beyond just their inconvenience.

We are certainly the "cheap pawns" here.  But I'm not sure it is against the medical establishment per se.  I think it's more against authority in general.  But the irony is that they simply want to replace one authority with another (at least in my opinion) more repressive one.

 

Why does the government have to regulate trans people in the first place?  We're just people like everyone else that should be able to get health care when they need it.  And how is the way I dress, or where I pee going to bring down the republic?  It's all just a distraction to keep people from thinking about existential problems like climate change and wars.

 

We have starving children and hospitals being bombed, while a few wealthy people make plans to colonize Mars.  I sometimes think that if we are doomed, we deserve it.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@VickySGV I am so sad you had to have a Thanksgiving alone. You are an amazing person and my heart goes out to you. You are my heroine in so many ways. Thank you for ALL YOU DO. You a such a selfless person.

Link to comment

@VickySGV that is an astute insight. By extension, further observe there is retaliation targeting many of those construed as intellectual - medical professionals, medical researchers, as well as educators, climate scientists, etc. 

 

When I was a youngster I had a job which employed Cambodian day laborers, many of whom I befriended. They had many horror stories about life under Pol Pot, which they relayed rather dispassionately and matter-of-factly. I got into reading books on Cambodian history to better grasp their perspective. During the terrible reign of Pol Pot, anyone perceived as intellectual was eliminated. This included anyone who wore glasses as they were stereotyped as intellectuals!

 

I am not comparing contemporary USA directly to Pol Pot Cambodia. I am simply observing that there are factors of tyranny which intersect across time and circumstance. On the other hand, those leaders throughout history (and I am not claiming any of them were perfect) who have been designated as "enlightened" embraced progress, scholarship, science and the arts. 

 

And, fwiw, as you described your solo Thanksgiving dinner excursion, I mentally pictured myself there with you in spirit :)

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Heather Shay said:

I am so sad you had to have a Thanksgiving alone. You are an amazing person and my heart goes out to you. You are my heroine in so many ways. Thank you for ALL YOU DO. You a such a selfless person.

Sorry, @VickySGV. That's tough, but I like how you made the best of it. My housemate caught covid bad and so I stayed in my room . . . but then made a long facetime phone call to my favorite parts of the family and got passed to every hand and face—that was great. And I tested negative today. One day at a time. Love to you. "Heroine" indeed.  —Davie

Link to comment
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 340 Guests (See full list)

    • LucyF
    • MaybeRob
    • SamC
    • Pip
    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,092
    • Most Online
      8,356

    The Lake
    Newest Member
    The Lake
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Britton
      Britton
      (53 years old)
    2. chipped_teeth
      chipped_teeth
    3. james-m
      james-m
    4. jenny75
      jenny75
      (34 years old)
    5. KASS13
      KASS13
  • Posts

    • Heather Shay
      What gives you the most asatisfaction in being who you truly are?
    • Heather Shay
      Welcome. As you explore your true self (selves) know you are loved and welcomed and will find others who will be here. Explore the site and join in on posts and ask questions.
    • The Lake
      Hello we are The lake. So called because This One has not determined a name for oneself but has in a way created an environment to try out multiple names as different people. Currently Some of us use she/her pronouns and one uses he/him. We hope to learn more about being transgender and the intricacies involved. Once again it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance and we hope to be of further help in the future.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://tennesseelookout.com/2024/05/14/judge-refuses-to-dismiss-all-claims-by-transgender-child-against-state-williamson-county-schools/     Kind of a win some - lose some decision.  I suppose that's better than "lose all."    Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-politics-and-policy/18-states-sue-biden-administration-transgender-worker-protections-rcna152239     When the R's are in power they love having the EEOC promulgate rules favoring employers.  But when the D's are in power, they just hate it when the EEOC makes or enforces rules that favor employee rights; most especially trans employee rights.  Then it becomes "government overreach."  Funny how that works out.    Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      Wholeheartedly agree.  Whether a compliment is backhand or forehand, I take it gladly.  They are offered rarely enough these days.    Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Wow, a shop that actually respects a customer's truck?  That seems like a miracle!  My husband does most of his own work, because he really, REALLY hates people who mess with an interior, with grease spots or footprints.  His personal truck is old, but super clean.  And since he's the transportation manager for his company, he's pretty picky about people respecting company equipment.  "Take care of it, and it will take care of you" is the motto.  Drivers should be able to go through a DOT Level 1 inspection without worry. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Literally the word means "hatred of women" and so I don't think that's quite the right description for what you encountered.  Possibly chauvinism?  Or maybe just not wanting to bother somebody he figured wasn't interested or capable of doing the job?  Who knows.   But on the other hand...be glad you're passing
    • VickySGV
      Finally found a site that gives the definition of defemination as a process of loss of feminine characteristics or continued loss of them.  Not a word I would use every day, although I can see where it would be a problem for some who value those feminine characteristics.  Yes I have seen it happen and now get the idea, and yes, not in so many words, but yes I have been up against others who do put down my femininity as being a pseudo female at the most polite and I cannot use the words hear for what it is at the worst.   Online, there is little to do about it except leave and block the people who do it and the places it happens, since it affects you much more heavily and negatively than it does the person doing it, and you need freedom from the stress.  The rules here which our "powers that be", namely the staff say we do not put up with members denying the authentic identity of other members. 
    • VickySGV
      I still maintain my "male" skills and almost have to laugh when that sort of thing happens to me with Cis males, and it does happen.  On the other side there, I have activities with the Trans community  here where I live including Trans Men who love to show off their new lives.  I have had a couple come over to my house and I have done some shop teaching that is always fun.  When they offer to help me by doing "male stuff" in a group, I do not take it as misogyny .
    • Thea
      This guy asked me to help with his tire.  So when I turned around and he saw that I'm a woman he's like,  oh nevermind
    • Betty K
      I think that’s an important point. In my case, I’ve found transitioning to be such a relief and a joy that I have no difficulty focussing on the positives. Maybe in your case you could make a practice of noting when you are gendered correctly? Do you keep a journal? I find doing so is major help.   After saying I rarely get misgendered, it actually happened to me yesterday in a local store. After recovering from my shock (the salesman called me “brother”, which to me is about as bad as it gets) I wrote my first complaint letter to a business w/r/t misgendering. That felt good. I also reflected that, to a degree, for those of us who don’t pass, I think gendering is correctly can take a conscious effort. Some Folks seem to automatically see me as feminine, others have to work at it. So if you’re often surrounded by people who have no desire to work at it, that may exacerbate your problem.      
    • Betty K
      I don’t know why anyone would go to the effort of advocating for trans folks only to charge people to read their articles. It seems so counterproductive, and I seriously doubt they’re making more than pocket money out of it. 
    • KathyLauren
      Oh, how I wish we were over-reacting!  But I don't think we are.  The danger is under-reacting. 
    • Ivy
      I understand your feelings. I have the same fears.  NC has made a swing to the right as well, and I'm not optimistic.  I want to tell myself I'm over reacting.  But seeing what these people are  saying, and doing when they do get into power can't be dismissed.  It's proof of what they will do if they take over the federal government. I'm getting kinda old now anyway.  It took me over 60 years to get here, and I'm not going back.  I suppose they can revert my gender markers, but I will still be legally Ivy.  And I have every intention of dying as Ivy Anna.  If I can't find my hormones somehow, I'll do without.  The physical changes I do have are permanent.   Trans people have always existed.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...