Random Bits

[RaineOnYourParade]

Just random things me and/or my trans friends have noticed help pass:

 

• If you're misgendered (if you're trying to pass as either male or female), just say "Oh, I'm a guy" or "I'm a girl" without making too much of a fuss. A lot of people will just take this as you're a cisgender person who looks more like the opposite sex because, hey, that does happen. A person who gets misgendered a lot as a cis person is usually used to it and is pretty chill on it, so just pretend you're one of those people.
• Focus on body language. You can't change how you look too much, but body language helps a lot more than you think.
• Try gender contouring, it helps a lot of people!
• If you don't need them or you're not at a pride event, it's a good idea to not use pronoun pins since they call you out. If you're misgendered often, don't use binary pronouns, or present differently than how you want to be referred to, though, they can be very helpful.
• Make sure your friends and such know how to refer to you, especially in public, because people will generally refer to you how the people you know do. For example, I was passing one day, but my mom was using she/her pronouns for me, so people "misgendered" me with he/him and then corrected themselves.
• Cisgender people get misgendered sometimes too. It's okay. It's not a trans-only thing.

 

Be safe!

[Birdie]

I'm intersex (AMAB), but I was 'very good at boy-mode' hiding large breasts and curves under baggy shirts and bib overalls. People just assumed I was gay or very femme for a guy. 

 

Finally coming out as myself I didn't think I could ever 'pass' as female. I'm older (60), and I just don't have the looks I thought. 

Letting my hair grow out and dressing off the women's rack was more for me than anyone else.  

 

Then it happened, strangers started addressing me as ma'am! Quite unexpected and it caught me off guard. 

 

There are still two places that address me as sir, one being the apartment building I reside in and the other being the day-centre I attend for medical services. 

 

They knew me since 'boy-mode' so changing that just won't happen in conservative Texas. 

But even still, new attendees at the centre or new neighbors will still address me as ma'am until corrected by other neighbors or staff members. 

 

1 hour ago, RaineOnYourParade said:

because people will generally refer to you how the people you know do

 

Yes, in my case unfortunately. 

[Heather Shay]

Extremely good and important lessons to share. Thank you.

[Ashley0616]

Thankfully I haven't gotten misgendered yet but I'm for sure certain it'll happen. I guess I'll just your advice. I have been clocked multiple times, but no one made a scene.