Names, Names, Names

[RaineOnYourParade]

I've been going by Raine for a little while now, about a year, and I chose it when I still thought I was female some of the time. Surprise, I'm not, and I've thought about changing it again, but I've already changed it with the school system and come out to my friends and family with that name, so I feel sorta bad flipping it again. I've been thinking of switching to Ryan, which I've used as an online name for a few things. I started using it online as a pseudonym from a mispronunciation I got once of Raine. I'm just not sure if it's worth it to change it again since Raine's already a lot more gender-neutral than my deadname, or maybe I should wait a bit until my sisters are a bit older and able to understand the situation better. They don't know I'm queer (my parents didn't tell them), so they already were confused by me changing my name once. I like the name Ryan a lot, but what if I end up wanting to change it again? I'm unsure. Thoughts?

[awkward-yet-sweet]

You could just change the spelling  to Rayne.  I went to elementary school with a boy who had that name.  Its got a Norse or Old English origin, so a decent choice and still unique.  Ryan works too, but is more generic.   Depends on what you're going for. 

[Birdie]

My birth name has a definite 'male ring' to it, so I chose my nickname that had followed me since my school days (Birdie). 

Birdie happens to be a very common nickname for Elizabeth in England, so it works perfectly. 

 

I have not legally changed my name because my doctor refuses to provide the letter I needed for the courts, but I have slowly gotten most people to start using Birdie. As far as I'm concerned, my name is Elizabeth and I go by Birdie. 

 

You need to use what you are comfortable with. I also thought Jolene was an option, but it was also used to tease me in my youth by my brothers that knew I was intersex. They would sing the song Jolene every time I entered a room. 

 

If I ever get to legally changed my name, I definitely need what I feel comfortable with. That's the main goal of name changing. 

[Heather Shay]

There is nothing wrong with changing names when you feel it is right to change names. Native Americans still do it when something in their lives and/or events indicate to them it is the right thing to do. 

[Ashley0616]

Rayne sounds really cool and so does Ryan. Do what makes you happy. Everyone can adjust to the new name but they can't change your happiness. 

[RaineOnYourParade]

Thanks everyone who replied ❤️

[RaineOnYourParade]

Nothing is legal yet with Raine or any other namechange other than my surname being changed (I'm waiting until I'm at least 18 so I don't deal with my biological father again like how I had to with my last name change), so I definitely have time to see where things go, at least.

[Maddee]

I say go for it Ryan why not?  

I’m afraid that I’ll never be able to stop changing my own names..  I think of new ones all the time. 

I couldn’t be this me before. 

Gratefully living on in the person I am.   

[April Marie]

I agree with everyone else - change it if you feel it better represents who you are...or just because you like it! Be you. Be the you that you want to be and by the name you want to be known. I like Ryan...but Raine or Rayne just sounds more mystical, more mysterious. But, be whoever you want to be. We will love you no matter what your name is. 🙂 

[MaeBe]

Names are such interesting things. They hold such weird power over us. They create perception and we change them to reflect how we want to be perceived. Perhaps Raine was just a step towards Ryan, I'm sure you can socialize that without paperwork and wear it fully for a while before having to do the paperwork? Try before you buy, if you will.

[Audrey]

Dear @RaineOnYourParade,

Names are powerful! I feel you are absolutely right to explore them and how they make you feel. I think it is totally okay for your feelings about names to evolve with time as you know yourself better and better each day. Perhaps more than any other single word, a name is a reflection of ourselves and how the world remembers us. I feel like one thing really unique about our experience is the freedom to play with names, perhaps something that many others accept and take for granted. I detest my dead name and could not wait to leave it behind. While I understand my dead name was chosen by my parents from a place of love, the dysphoria I felt around using it and hearing it from others was palpable. Seeing Audrey on my essential documents, and hearing everyone use that name to talk about me, has been one of the most validating experiences of my whole transition!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[LittleSam]

Ryan is a lovely name. The name my parents chose for me is very traditionally feminine. I always felt it didn't suit me. I called myself Sam as a kid and have recently been questioning my gender. Decided I am non binary and have legally changed my name to Sam because it's neither Samuel or Samantha. That being said I am definitely much more masc and have been remaining in my male form. It doesn't matter that Ryan is typically a male name if you consider yourself masc presenting. If the thought of one day seeing it on a passport or some other form of ID makes you feel euphoric, then go for it. When you chose Raine, maybe you didn't know as much about yourself as you do now. Transitioning can be a slow learning process, and things can surprise us alone the way.