My life

[Claire23]

Hi I have been crossdressing since I was a teenager. I have never had the confidence to go out dressed, also I find makeup hard as I have no one to help or advise me. In the past I have been self harming, and recently been very very close to ending my life as things are getting to me, as I have keep my secret for many many years, I have always known I was in the wrong body . I have always wanted a sex change . But I have never been able to get help, because I was afraid so I have just stayed in my own prison. What I was hoping is to join a group and make friends with the same sort of people as myself. After reading your rules I am not sure if this is the correct group , if I have coursed any inconvenience I'm very sorry. But I must try to get some help . I hope this is the correct site to contact.

Yours faithfully 

Claire

[VickySGV]

Welcome to the Forums Clair.  It is far from the first time we have heard the items you are talking about.  Yes, you do need to get some MEDICAL help going there, and as I understand the NHC System over there, talking to your Primary Care Physician is the starting point.  From that doctor to a Gender Therapist is the route you will take, I assure you that you will find support from our members and staff here.  Years ago, the Forums began to help prevent self harm and to get skilled and licensed medical help for yourself.  Once you have cracked that first door open to getting help, it becomes easier and less scary to do. 

[Carolyn Marie]

Hello, @Claire23, and welcome to Trans Pulse.  From what you said, I think you have joined exactly the right group.  I'm sure we can offer advice and experience that will help you. 

 

It certainly seems like you are more than a cross dresser, as you mentioned knowing that you are "In the wrong body."  That sounds like you are a transgender woman.  Of course, only you and a gender therapist can tell you for certain if that is true.

 

The U.K. has a difficult and lengthy process to navigate even to get to the point of finding a gender therapist.  However, you need to start somewhere, so I would encourage you to get started if, in fact, you want to discover more about helping yourself be the person you wish to become.

 

In the meantime, you are more than welcome to explore the forums, ask questions and learn.  There are many members here from different parts of the U.K., some of whom have navigated the NHS to achieve their dreams.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Ashley0616]

Hi @Claire23 Yes you have definitely joined the right group. I can understand where you are coming from. I attempted suicide multiple times myself. I was trans before I even heard of the word. I was 7 when I felt different. I didn't come out till April 17 2023. 31 years of straight denial was not fun. I hated myself. I prayed multiple times to make me a woman. Heck I still do to this day. It would be so much easier not having to have to go through all the surgeries and I wouldn't need hormones. My hair would definitely be longer. It's getting there. It's at 5" long. Unfortunately it's curly so it's going to take longer to have hair go at least to my shoulders before I give up my wig. Make up is fun. There are plenty of YouTube tutorials out there. The biggest advice is that a little goes a long way! Building up a wardrobe and shoe collection is fun too! I'm going through a divorce so I have an entire walk-in closet just for me! I love that part. It sucks she didn't accept me but it just wasn't meant to be.  What are your hobbies?

[April Marie]

Welcome to the forum, Claire!! As others have said, you've found a place of acceptance, friendship and support. I also agree that working with a gender therapist will help you overcome the doubt, the fear and the confusion. But, you've made a great start by joining us here.

 

Jump in where you feel comfortable and ask questions if you have them.

 

Just know that, here, we accept you as you are.

[Claire23]

8 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

Hi @Claire23 Yes you have definitely joined the right group. I can understand where you are coming from. I attempted suicide multiple times myself. I was trans before I even heard of the word. I was 7 when I felt different. I didn't come out till April 17 2023. 31 years of straight denial was not fun. I hated myself. I prayed multiple times to make me a woman. Heck I still do to this day. It would be so much easier not having to have to go through all the surgeries and I wouldn't need hormones. My hair would definitely be longer. It's getting there. It's at 5" long. Unfortunately it's curly so it's going to take longer to have hair go at least to my shoulders before I give up my wig. Make up is fun. There are plenty of YouTube tutorials out there. The biggest advice is that a little goes a long way! Building up a wardrobe and shoe collection is fun too! I'm going through a divorce so I have an entire walk-in closet just for me! I love that part. It sucks she didn't accept me but it just wasn't meant to be.  What are your hobbies?

 

[Claire23]

I enjoy Bob Ross art /₩

 

¹ 

8 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

Hi @Claire23 Yes you have definitely joined the right group. I can understand where you are coming from. I attempted suicide multiple times myself. I was trans before I even heard of the word. I was 7 when I felt different. I didn't come out till April 17 2023. 31 years of straight denial was not fun. I hated myself. I prayed multiple times to make me a woman. Heck I still do to this day. It would be so much easier not having to have to go through all the surgeries and I wouldn't need hormones. My hair would definitely be longer. It's getting there. It's at 5" long. Unfortunately it's curly so it's going to take longer to have hair go at least to my shoulders before I give up my wig. Make up is fun. There are plenty of YouTube tutorials out there. The biggest advice is that a little goes a long way! Building up a wardrobe and shoe collection is fun too! I'm going through a divorce so I have an entire walk-in closet just for me! I love that part. It sucks she didn't accept me but it just wasn't meant to be.  What are your hobbies?

 

 

 

 

[Claire23]

Thank you for your kind reply.

I enjoy watching Bob Ross art/ making jewelry /computers / fishing. Animals- but at the moment am unfortunately in a very bad place I have it stuck in my head to end this torched  I'm going through at the moment . That's why I am seeking help for the first time in my miserable life hoping I can get some help. 

Yours Claire

 

[Claire23]

11 hours ago, VickySGV said:

Welcome to the Forums Clair.  It is far from the first time we have heard the items you are talking about.  Yes, you do need to get some MEDICAL help going there, and as I understand the NHC System over there, talking to your Primary Care Physician is the starting point.  From that doctor to a Gender Therapist is the route you will take, I assure you that you will find support from our members and staff here.  Years ago, the Forums began to help prevent self harm and to get skilled and licensed medical help for yourself.  Once you have cracked that first door open to getting help, it becomes easier and less scary to do. 

Thank you for your kind reply.  Claire

[KayC]

12 hours ago, Claire23 said:

But I have never been able to get help, because I was afraid so I have just stayed in my own prison. What I was hoping is to join a group and make friends with the same sort of people as myself. After reading your rules I am not sure if this is the correct group , if I have coursed any inconvenience I'm very sorry. But I must try to get some help . I hope this is the correct site to contact.

YES!  You found your Community, Dear Claire, and I hope you stay with us.  Welcome and ...

Deep breaths ... One step at a time.

[Claire23]

38 minutes ago, KayC said:

YES!  You found your Community, Dear Claire, and I hope you stay with us.  Welcome and ...

Deep breaths ... One step at a time.

Thank you for your kind reply.

Claire

[Heather Shay]

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

[LC]

Yes I am new here and have found this forum to be very supportive, very friendly, and encouraging. Welcome!

[Ashley0616]

4 hours ago, Claire23 said:

Thank you for your kind reply.

I enjoy watching Bob Ross art/ making jewelry /computers / fishing. Animals- but at the moment am unfortunately in a very bad place I have it stuck in my head to end this torched  I'm going through at the moment . That's why I am seeking help for the first time in my miserable life hoping I can get some help. 

Yours Claire

 

Sounds like fun! I don't understand hardly anything about computers. Eventually I'm either going to need a new computer or upgrade the current one. It's slow! Plus, my music collection is about 70% of the 1 TB hard drive. I have almost 12K songs. I'm horrible at fishing. I caught a small fish once and that was it. I went fishing about 8 times. I couldn't do it now because my skin is sensitive to the sun. Hopefully you'll feel better. I'm an Iraqi war veteran. I was there three times and I have been deployed three other times. I wished I had gender dysphoria and that was it. I'm not even able to work due to my issues. 

[Mysti]

Claire, needing help is something that we have all experienced in one time in our lives. There is no shame in asking for help or in who you are. Having the courage to accept who you are and to seek help is powerful. This forum, I think, is a great place for you to be. People here aren't afraid to answer questions to those that ask. Most of the answers are from personal past experiences and hopefully can be helpful to you. Remember that you are a beautiful person and you are worthy. I am sorry to hear that you have contemplated ending it, and I would suggest that you seek out someone who can give you the personal care that you deserve. Welcome to the forum! Stay safe.

 

Hugs,

 

Mysti