trans probles

[stripe]

/stripe here  i am so angry the way they are making me wait and i was second  gussing my self and i know that it was not easy and   i think that if i  went back to being a lady  and i know that i am still going throgh so much stuff and     i wanted it to  be all done in the uk i know it not like that at all i think  if i did not go throw  with the reansion  i would not be happy but i keep second gussing my self from time to time  i think i  need to talk to my doctors about it and see what got to say about it i spoken to my partner about it and  i still   fell like i would recgert not going throw with a lot off it but i still fell like i dont know what to do about it so i need some advise on it 

[Vidanjali]

Hi @stripe. If I understand you correctly, you're upset about having to wait a long time to receive medical care and while you're waiting you're having doubts. Is that correct? If that is the case, first I'm sorry you are made to wait for so long. I understand that is a persistent problem with trans-affirming care through NHS in the UK. Having doubts is totally normal as it is a major decision. You've lived your life presumably having been socialized as female but do not not feel natural with that identity. Is that right? If you believe your true self to be a man, but have lived your life with a body different from a man, of course there would be some second guessing as you anticipate getting gender affirming care. It's a major change to align who you are at the core of your individuality with the physical body. One thing is for sure, having doubts does not make you less trans. Doubts are normal and natural. If you ultimately decide not to pursue care, that is okay too. It's your life, your call. But if you are wavering back and forth between wanting to go for it and giving it up, that seems to indicate an obvious underlying desire for some change. So, you would benefit by talking to a therapist or counselor about it. Meanwhile, experiment and have some fun with changes you can control yourself, like hairstyle, clothing, accessories, binder, packer, mannerisms, name, pronouns, etc. See how those sorts of changes make you feel. Moments where you feel happy expressing masculinity will guide you.

[stripe]

3 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

Hi vidanjali  i have done all that and i am still wating on the list for the gender clinic tbh 

 

[Ashley0616]

Hi @stripeit's not an easy choice to make. HRT can make irreversible changes to your body. It's best to talk to multiple therapists that specialize in gender therapy. Get as much insight as possible. I knew without a doubt that I was trans ever since I was 7 which was before I even knew what it was. I did hate myself for it though. I went through 31 years of self-denial. I wanted to wake up as a female and the nightmares to stop. I was able to get two boys out of waiting and I'm very thankful I got them. If you need someone to talk to I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Take care.