Hi! My kid came out as Trans

[StillSassy]

hi everyone, you can call me Em, I’m 41 and my kid just came out as trans. 
 

My oldest who is 15, had come out to me as trans. He’s AMAB and doesn’t want to change his pronouns yet or to come out yet, which I’m fine with. I’m here to learn from other trans people and people with trans kids on how I can best support him. 
 

I have a few online friends who are trans, and I have one friend whom I’m close enough to reach out to for support but I think my family could benefit from a resource like this

 

so if you have any advice on how to help my kid navigate this, I’m all ears. 
 

 

[MirandaB]

I'd recommend a book for you.

 

Letter to my Transgender Daughter

[Heather Shay]

Hello Em,

I am so proud of you. THE MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do for your child is AFFIRMING their situation. To help guide you and your child in exploring this is a wonderful workbook geared to looking at your individual case is "Gender Identity" by Dara- Huffamn-Fox and you can get it for about $15 on Amazon. It helped me explore me and hopefully you and your child can use it, working together.

I hope your child is seeing a therapist with Gender experience. And if you can, it is vital for you to seek a therapist who can give you a chance to talk about what you are going through.

There are many parents of trans children here and I can tell you there are wonderfdul posts you can explore and I believe there are also support groups. I thank you for giving an introduction and I believe you'll receive resposes from some of the most amazing people on the planet soon.

Hugs,

Heather

[KymmieL]

Em, You are in the correct place for support. Here on Transpulse we have all types. From supportive parents to fully transitioned men and women. So feel free to ask any question you can think of.

 

The best piece of advice I can give. You are doing right now. Supporting your child. That is one of the most important thing a parent can do for a transgender child. Support and love them. Let them know that you are there for them, at anytime, about anything.

 

As Heather has said, If you haven't already find them a good gender therapist. One that they are comfortable with.

 

Supportive hugs to you and your new Daughter.

 

Kymmie

[Jani]

Welcome Em.  That's great that you chose to support your child.  Lots of good advice from my friends here.  I can tell you're a good ally.

 

Jani

[Charlize]

Em i would say you are already providing wonderful support.  Simply accepting your child's journey and allowing it to take its own path is often the best.  We find our own way at our own pace.  That being said knowing we are loved and supported in our lives can give us strength when the obstacles seem overwhelming.

We are here to help you and your child.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[April Marie]

Hi, Em!!! Support. Love. Listen. Ask questions both her and of your child to explore the basis for his/her feelings. A therapist can be a magician and help your child navigate all the challenges, as well as find the joys of transition, if that is what he/she ultimately chooses.

 

Most of all, just be there and love him/her.

[Andy C.]

I think even just the fact that you're reaching out to your trans friends and coming here is HUGE. That is genuinely a huge thing to do and be opened to. If there's any specific questions let me know, but in general... You're on the right track. I'd say don't pressure your child to tell you things if they're not comfortable with it. Try and learn a bit about possible future steps so you can have a base knowledge when/if they come to you about any of that (even if that's just knowing like what hormones they might take / maybe a doctor that could be safe, or a website link that goes over that).

I'd suggest making sure, as much as possible, if something feels uncomfortable to you (like the idea of your child having surgery etc.), try and process that on your own and then talk with your child.

You're doing great