Name change

[Lorelei]

I tried to put together the paperwork for changing my name this morning but I realized that my handwriting was too illegible to submit to the court. So I have to wait until my wife can fill out the parts that the computer couldn’t fill out for me. So I ended up not going to the county clerk office. I am going on Monday to submit the paperwork. I will legally be female and Lorelei when the judge signs it off. Hopefully soon, but I hear the court is very slow.
 

I also told my mom that I was changing my name legally, and she told me that I would still have been named Rory if I had been born as a girl. She doesn’t like that I am changing it, but that it is my decision. 

[Lorelei]

I am legally Lorelei!!!

[Lorelei]

Anyone know what to do next in NY? It appears I have to change my birth certificate to change my social security card and I need that so I can go the DMV for corrected identification. Now I don’t know what order do I need to do for banking, insurance, etc. I didn’t expect the name change to be approved in less than a week. 

[VickySGV]

@Lorelei Go to this website for a good idea of what to do. https://transgenderlegal.org/our-work/name-change-project/ which has been helping you back east folks or https://transgenderlawcenter.org/ which is a little more for the western folks.  I did not need my birth certificate for SS change.

[Ashley0616]

57 minutes ago, Lorelei said:

I am legally Lorelei!!!

Congratulations!

[KathyLauren]

Congratulations, Lorelei!

 

Each agency or business has its own requirements.  Most will not need to see your birth certificate.  Utility accounts for instance will only want to see the legal name change document: a certificate or court decree, or whatever your state's bureaucracy gives you.  An employer would likely want to see your social security documents, so you will need that done before getting your records changed there.  Citizenship or passport records will likely want to see your birth certificate.

 

Don't stress about it.  If you don't yet have the documents that a particular office wants, just make a note of that fact and come back once you have them. 

 

Just relax and enjoy the fact that you are legally you!

[KatieSC]

1 hour ago, Lorelei said:

I am legally Lorelei!!!

Congratulations! I am not sure what reception you will get at the Social Security Administration. They are supposed to change the name and gender based on the court order. I had a guy who insisted that they needed a document from my physician stating I had surgery, etc. I told him that is not what the SSAN website said. He seemed visibly pissed, then got up and said he needed to talk to someone. He came back and with saying little, proceeded to change my documents. I hope your experience is better than mine. Oh, they will mail the new card. They do not hand it to you at the office. 

 

My visit to the DMV went quickly. I was in and out with my new license and titles in 20 minutes. It took longer to fill out the forms, and the clerks were really nice. This was in SC.

[Mmindy]

3 hours ago, Lorelei said:

 

I am legally Lorelei!!!

 

That’s wonderful Lorelei! 
 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Ivy]

4 hours ago, Lorelei said:

I am legally Lorelei!!!

Congratulations.

I don't think you need the birth certificate for Social Security, as long as you have the drivers license ID with the gender changed.  I didn't in NC.  

My birth certificate was in NY also, and it was no problem, just took a bit of a wait for it to come.

[KayC]

Congratulations, @Lorelei!!

[Susan R]

On 3/2/2024 at 2:23 PM, Lorelei said:

I am legally Lorelei!!!

A big congrats to you. I remember the day I did this like it was yesterday. The memory is crystal clear. I’m sure you’ll enjoy that memory for years to come. Thanks for sharing this!

 

Best To You,

Susan R🌷

[Ivy]

8 hours ago, Susan R said:

I remember the day I did this like it was yesterday. The memory is crystal clear. I’m sure you’ll enjoy that memory for years to come.

I remember too.  I felt like dancing out of the courthouse with the court order.

[Lorelei]

I have just sent the name change order to the state for a new birth certificate, to the state department for my passport and to my union for my vision/dental benefits. With expedited processing with the passport, it will likely be the first correct photo ID I get. I changed my name on my car and homeowners insurance yesterday. When I get my new birth certificate I can go to personnel for payroll and health insurance under my correct name.  Next I have to go to social security to change my name there so that I can get my drivers license updated. DMV won’t let me change that until I get a social security card. DMV is a pain since you can’t change name and gender at the same time. The name change form has a check box for gender but it says it can not change my gender on that form. Apparently I have to fill out another form for gender. I am 42, but am still going to change my name with selective service to comply with federal law… I am going to stop by my bank at lunch to change it on my mortgage and bank accounts. When you are an adult there are so many things you have your name on. 
 

[Lorelei]

Note. I just changed the gender at DMV online, so I only need to use the one form for the name change. 

[Ivy]

35 minutes ago, Lorelei said:

Note. I just changed the gender at DMV online, so I only need to use the one form for the name change. 

Here in NC (for now) you have a seperate form for gender change, but you can do both at the same time. 

[Lorelei]

I got my union card under my new name, but social security and DMV are turning into a royal pain in the rear. DMV requires you to have changed your name with social security to get new ID but social security requires a photo ID to change your name there. So I am in a holding pattern until my new passport arrives. Hopefully my new birth certificate will come soon. 

[Ivy]

That kinda sux

[KatieSC]

8 hours ago, Lorelei said:

I got my union card under my new name, but social security and DMV are turning into a royal pain in the rear. DMV requires you to have changed your name with social security to get new ID but social security requires a photo ID to change your name there. So I am in a holding pattern until my new passport arrives. Hopefully my new birth certificate will come soon. 

For a name change, I am not sure you need to have the license. As I recall, I had my court order. Some of the local offices do not understand their own requirements. They tried to tell me I had to have a letter from my doctor (you do not), so I offered to call SSA headquarters to clarify. They relented and made the changes based on the court order. I cannot remember if I had to show my license or not. I had my new card within a week.

[VickySGV]

9 hours ago, Lorelei said:

DMV requires you to have changed your name with social security to get new ID

I don't get that one-- If the name change was from a court of their State, and even if it was from another state court, that should do the job.  It is an order from a court to "do it dammit" especially if it is a certified copy of the judgment for change.  Some DMV supervisor needs to get the law book, basic version.   These folks can give you help on it.  https://transgenderlegal.org/

[Ivy]

I found a bit of confusion among the local officials and clerks.  All they usually see are name changes for marriage, which are pretty straight forward.  I had to go through a lot to change my name here in NC.  On the other hand, changing gender marker here was a piece of cake.

Of course that could change soon, and I'm kinda expecting it.

[Lorelei]

Some of this is a null point because I got my passport yesterday so I do have photo identification for social security. The expedited processing was expensive, costing about $80, but it only took 12 days including shipping both ways. The passport card will be shipped separately with regular processing. My brother lives in Arizona, so I wanted a TSA approved identification (passport) ASAP in case there was an emergency and I needed to get to him.
 

Once I finish changing my name on everything, my wife is going to change her name too. I combined her last name with mine, and she is going to do the same thing once I get settled in. For the first ten years of our marriage we had different last names. 

[Lorelei]

Things are moving quickly now that I have my drivers license and social security card in my new name. It was really affirming when I got my first paycheck in my new name. 

[Ivy]

12 minutes ago, Lorelei said:

It was really affirming when I got my first paycheck in my new name. 

Every new thing feels so good.

[Mmindy]

20 minutes ago, Lorelei said:

It was really affirming when I got my first paycheck in my new name. 

That’s fantastic Lorelei. I’m so happy for you.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[KatieSC]

Congratulations Lorelei! Yes, it is a powerful feeling to have the documents that say "you are you".