Are you comfortable enough to be an activist for LGBTQ+ community?

[Heather Shay]

Are you comfortable enough to be an activist for LGBTQ+ community?

[Betty K]

I don't think comfortable is the right word, but I'm pretty determined. I don't like the shouty kind of activism though; my version is calm and considered.

[VickySGV]

Activism requires DISCOMFORT to really be something you get into.  My volunteer work here on this site is a good example of that since observing the issues my Trans / NB siblings face in daily life makes me uncomfortable and urges me to do something.  Other things I have done, including being on organizational boards for Trans help groups, being a performer in activities the uplift Trans / NB people all stems from discomfort with the way things are for us as a whole. 

 

It is acting against the DISCOMFORT though that gives me a sense of peace and accomplishment.

[Mmindy]

Well said @Betty K

 

I’m with the LGBTQIA community until it starts getting rowdy, then I pull back because I’m not the aggressive person I once was. I’m the ☮️ Peace, Love and Joy person in the community. 
 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Sally Stone]

I wouldn't be comfortable standing on a soap box or standing in the limelight to further our cause, but I am comfortable expressing myself publicly and doing outreach one on one.  I'm comfortable enough to focus on winning hearts and minds one person at a time. 

[Ashley0616]

Well today I'm interviewing to be a board member for a local group so I guess you could say I am.

[Mmindy]

Good luck @Ashley0616

You are going to make a difference.

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️

[Ashley0616]

9 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

Good luck @Ashley0616

You are going to make a difference.

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️

Thak you!

[MaeBe]

20 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

Well today I'm interviewing to be a board member for a local group so I guess you could say I am.

Awesome, Ashley!

 

As for the OT, I am a baby in the LGBTQ+ community but I definitely want to get out and be a part of it and advocate for us. I'm not looking to get into people's faces and yell at them, but I think being out in public as I prefer to be and having the conversations that need to take place are good for us as a society. Now I just need to figure out where my entry point is; there is a lobby 2024 meeting at the state capitol with Outfront MN tomorrow, trying to see if I can make it work.

[Ashley0616]

32 minutes ago, MaeBe said:

Awesome, Ashley!

 

As for the OT, I am a baby in the LGBTQ+ community but I definitely want to get out and be a part of it and advocate for us. I'm not looking to get into people's faces and yell at them, but I think being out in public as I prefer to be and having the conversations that need to take place are good for us as a society. Now I just need to figure out where my entry point is; there is a lobby 2024 meeting at the state capitol with Outfront MN tomorrow, trying to see if I can make it work.

I'm looking forward to it. Not all groups are about yelling in people's faces. The group I'm joining does things peacefully. 

[Mmindy]

@MaeBeone of the things we can do as new people in the LGBTQIA community is speak up and defend the community when you hear family or friends saying something negative about the community. Even if you’re not out to everyone you can speak up as an ally or advocate. Start small within your span of control, then expand on the strength of your confidence to speak out against anti LGBTQIA comments or bullying.

 

You are enough,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[MaeBe]

4 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

@MaeBeone of the things we can do as new people in the LGBTQIA community is speak up and defend the community when you hear family or friends saying something negative about the community. Even if you’re not out to everyone you can speak up as an ally or advocate. Start small within your span of control, then expand on the strength of your confidence to speak out against anti LGBTQIA comments or bullying.

 

You are enough,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Definitely! I went to the capitol today, but missed the gathering (work...😢). I got there an hour and a half after the start time, but only ran into a couple people visiting their legislators (and a nice older woman who I traipsed around the senate office building with, she was lovely!). So, didn't quite get into any activism on the public side of things yet.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

NO.  And for a different reason than you might think.  I'm comfortable with myself, but I'm not comfortable with the political leanings and social views of lots of LGBTQ+ folks.  I typically don't vote for Democrat candidates, for example.  Even if I wanted to group protests or activism, I am guaranteed to be at odds with many. 

 

It seems like a lot of the "activist" behavior is obnoxious and disruptive, rather than helpful.  Blocking traffic, making lots of noise, being confrontational, and even acts of vandalism... those aspects of "activism" make "activists" seem very negative to general public.  Especially after 2020, any sort of protesting that fits that description makes people feel like "Awww dammit here we go again.  Where are the cops?!?!?"  Not the kind of visibility we want. 

 

So here's what I do instead:  Yes, I write my representatives!  As pitiful as they are, I do it anyways, and in strong, descriptive language.  I support friendly local candidates - which includes my sister this year.  I try to be well-behaved and fit in with my community.  My husband is well known, and I'm there in the background, somewhat visible.  I cook and clean and participate in local events.  I've also made a couple of trans friends, and I feel good that I've helped them along towards better employment and living.  Making connections, LGBTQ+ or not, is really important. 

 

Those who know me and know that I'm LGBTQ+ will associate my behavior with LGBTQ+ in general.  "Oh, I know Jen...if they're like Jen, they can't be all that bad."  I think that is probably the most effective way to fight the system - to quietly change people's minds toward the "they're just like us, they're our neighbors" perspective.  Maybe that won't work in other areas, but here in the rural South being neighbors counts for a lot. 

[Sally Stone]

14 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I think that is probably the most effective way to fight the system - to quietly change people's minds toward the "they're just like us, they're our neighbors" perspective. 

I whole heartedly agree.  

[Charlize]

On 2/26/2024 at 10:23 AM, VickySGV said:

 

It is acting against the DISCOMFORT though that gives me a sense of peace and accomplishment.

I try to be open and honest and do not hesitate to act as i can politically. 

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[tracy_j]

My general view is that acitvism means agression and agression means confrontation so can be very counter productive.

 

As such I am very much with awkward-yet-sweet on this one.

 

A very related fact that has always confused me is to how many trans people, both mtf and ftm, plan their lives to be who they feel they are then actually put themselves into the position of actually not being who they see they are by actually highlighting their difference. I can see why but, to me, it does not seem the right way. For me, to be a woman is to be a woman, not trans.

 

Maybe a lot of this here in my locality is because there is less of a need for an activist LGBTQ+ community, just more mainly of a LGBTQ+ support community. I think locally that obvious activism would be very negative, as it is with other minority groups.

 

Tracy

[Betty K]

Hey can I just point out the actual definition of the word "activism"...

 

Cambridge dictionary says, "the use of direct and noticeable action to achieve a result, usually a political or social one".

 

Merriam Websters says, "a doctrine or practice that emphasizes direct vigorous action especially in support of or opposition to one side of a controversial issue".

 

Activists need not be aggressive. Martin Luther King was an activist, Ghandi was an activist, you could even say Jesus Christ was an activist. Don't let people who fear change fool you into thinking that activism is a dirty word.

 

4 hours ago, tracy_j said:

A very related fact that has always confused me is to how many trans people, both mtf and ftm, plan their lives to be who they feel they are then actually put themselves into the position of actually not being who they see they are by actually highlighting their difference. I can see why but, to me, it does not seem the right way. For me, to be a woman is to be a woman, not trans.

 

Everyone I ever meet knows I'm trans; there's no hiding it. Are you suggesting I should just try to blend in and not cause trouble in case I draw even more attention to what everyone can see already? Also there are other kinds of trans people than mtf or ftm.

[KathyLauren]

5 hours ago, tracy_j said:

For me, to be a woman is to be a woman, not trans.

 

To be a woman is indeed to be a woman, and that I am.  But because of that unnecessary appendage I was born with, the only way I can be a woman is to be a trans woman.  I am that, too.

 

Activism is calling to us.  The more the haters rile up the masses and pass legislation to oppress us, the louder activism calls. 

 

I have always believed that benefiting from a social situation without contributing to it is the definition of antisocial behaviour.  I have benefited (and still do, so far) from the work of others in normalizing our existence.  I have the right to be myself because others fought for it.  I was able to change my name and gender, and to have insurance that paid for my surgery and HRT because others fought for it.  That gives me an obligation to work towards preserving and expanding those rights.  If I benefited without contributing, I would be a parasite.

 

So far, my activism has been low-key.  I do not hide the fact that I am trans.  I don't advertise it, but most people I meet already know or can figure it out.  What they see is that this person who is probably trans behaves just like any other woman.  That is the message that they need to hear to counteract the streams of hate reported in the media.  The best way for them to realize that the hate is based on lies is to see the truth with their own eyes.

 

I have done one thing specific and concrete to make life better for trans folks.  Historically, gender change in Nova Scotia was based on birth certificates.  To change your gender, you had your birth certificate amended, and all other documentation would follow from that.  However, for those people from countries where changing one's birth certificate was difficult or impossible, there was no path to official gender change.  So, when the provincial government asked for feedback on gender markers (they were looking for opinions on 'X' as a gender marker), I wrote a submission suggesting they add a different path for gender changes that did not depend on one's birth certificate.  It actually happened, exactly the way I had suggested.

 

As the hatred against us ramps up, I am feeling the need to do more concrete things to fight it.  I don't know what yet, but it will likely require me to step outside my comfort zone.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

1 hour ago, Betty K said:

Are you suggesting I should just try to blend in and not cause trouble in case I draw even more attention to what everyone can see already? Also there are other kinds of trans people than mtf or ftm.

Actually, yeah, I'd say that's a good idea.  Blending in as much as possible makes all of us look better. 

 

IDK how things are in your area, but where I live if you asked the average person what their mental image of trans folks get, the response will usually include things like "noisy, perpetually offended, hair-dyed, socialists."  I try to be as far away from that image as possible.  

 

Gandhi and MLK don't make good comparisons for us. And that is for practical reasons. Activism of that type only succeeds for groups that are large. In Gandhi's case, an entire nation was struggling against a ruling minority. In our own Civil Rights movement, African Americans were 11% of the national population in 1960.  In the areas where major protests took place, the proportion was Far higher.  Both of those movements were only made possible by the social upheaval of major wars.  

 

Activism shares some similarities with guerrilla warfare. I am no military strategist, but my husband teaches our local Cadets. One of the texts he uses was written by Che Guevara. In that book, I recall that one of the principles of successful guerilla action was to have the support of the majority of the population. Notice that the rule proved true in his own life. He succeeded in Cuba, but was killed in Bolivia where he miscalculated and did not have majority support.

 

Trans folks are a tiny minority....and definitely not a unified minority in many ways.  As such, it is logical that we must rely on the acceptance of the majority, whether we like it or not.  The better we blend in, the more we'll be seen as friends and neighbors and the more the majority will believe that the hate against us is unjust.  If we are disruptive instead, that erodes support.   

 

 

[Betty K]

Right on, @KathyLauren! Though I have to say, I don't blame any trans person who just wants a quiet life and to not be involved. Since we've all experienced trauma due to our identities, that impulse to hide away is very easy to understand. But I do think it must hurt to do so while other trans folk are suffering. The only way I can make something meaningful from my own trauma is to strive to help others who are suffering similar traumas. I feel sorry for trans folk who deny themselves that avenue of healing.

[Betty K]

3 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

Blending in as much as possible makes all of us look better. 

 

I think that's absolute nonsense. How can being invisible make trans folks look better? All it does is leave the ones who refuse to blend in (ie, the noisy hair-dyed socialists) as our only representatives. I also think it's a toxic attitude, as I've said before. I admire people who have the courage not to blend in, and I resent the policing that goes on in some corners of the trans community. My appearance has been policed by cis folks all my life; I would never do the same to other people, especially trans people. If you want to conform, conform. That is your business. How other trans people dress or present themselves is not.

 

As I've said before, I don't blend in, but nor do I look outrageous. Given the many warm and genuine-seeming compliments I get from strangers on a regular basis, I have to presume that I look quite all right.

[Betty K]

10 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

Gandhi and MLK don't make good comparisons for us.

 

I'm not comparing them to us. I'm just pointing out that they (and Christ) were activists. Ergo, activism is not a dirty word, at least in my book.

[Betty K]

14 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

Trans folks are a tiny minority....and definitely not a unified minority in many ways.  As such, it is logical that we must rely on the acceptance of the majority, whether we like it or not.  The better we blend in, the more we'll be seen as friends and neighbors and the more the majority will believe that the hate against us is unjust.  If we are disruptive instead, that erodes support. 

 

This just sounds like capitulating, laying down and dying to me. And there is more than one way to win over the majority. You may win over your friends and neighbours by being invisible, but that will not communicate to a wide audience. At some point some of us have to stand up, as we have done increasingly throughout the last century, and assert our rights. We can do it as calmly and politely as we like, but we have to be visible, otherwise our mistreatment will be all the more easily swept under the rug. That's my belief, anyway.

[Birdie]

When I do my hair up in the morning and don my bra, I'm being an activist. I'm presenting myself to the world as I see myself. 

 

I'm not marching in a demonstration or speaking at a rally (that might not be safe in Texas), but I still live my life as who I am. 

 

The woman staring back at me in the mirror shows my disregard for the 45 years of 'boy-mode' I endured just too keep family and friends happy. I'm finally free!

 

Even still, when strangers address me as ma'am I feel I have succeeded in everything. 

 

Honestly, I really don't see myself as trans anymore. I was before in 'boy-mode'. I'm much more female than I ever was a man (I'm intersex, and physically much more female). 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

To me, blending in does not necessarily mean being completely invisible. One thing I constantly run into on transgender issues is that trans folks seem to have being trans as their primary identity. I guess that makes me different, as I am many things before I am intersex or trans.  

 

So the question is, what do others know you for? If the first word that comes to other people's minds is transgender, I'm not sure that is a good thing. I would rather the people think of what I do in my community, how I relate to my family, or even the produce that I grow in my garden. I would be most pleased if my gender were far down on the list as an, "oh, by the way...."