trans folx who leave the flock

[Owly]

I’ve met a couple of people and have heard of a some (radio/social media) who only want to identify as women (not trans women) after they fully transition. As if wanting to sever ties with the trans identity in order to feel like they’ve fully transitioned and/or to “remove the target off their backs”. 
I have conflicting feelings about this. I feel hurt when it seems as if some people use the road others have paved (with their lives) to get to their destination and then denounce it or wish to not support it. It feels they turn their back on those who are still on their journey.
 I also try to understand their reasoning for doing so. But I must be honest that it reminds me of the gay men who hide who they are in order to keep their status and power and only take advantage of being queer when it suits their needs. They strive to “pass” as cis het to get what they need.  These seem to be the same gay men who don’t support trans folx. 

what are your thoughts about this?

[VickySGV]

Understanding the concept of Stealth is a hard thing even for us in the Trans Community, but there are those for whom the Mental Health issues are bigger than they can handle being in the Trans Woman or Man category.  Actually it is many of them who set the foundations for those of us who are more out and open, and yes active.  Over the years I have fought with some of the Stealth group, and some are a major PIA thinking they are True Transsexuals or the other word is TRUSCUM which  or even Harry Benjamin Syndrome (a fictitious medical phenomena) and some missing topics from these forums, written by Laura, our founder did show those problems.  As I said though, in their way they actually make our case stronger and have been foundations for us as well as the more recent and militant advocates for us.  I do not know of a specific book detailing this part of our history, but that was the goal of those people, to be hidden.  I personally am working openly for a day when we Trans can be HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT!!

[MaeBe]

16 minutes ago, VickySGV said:

I personally am working openly for a day when we Trans can be HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT!!

Amen! Until then I will continue to work in plain sight. Like I am right now, in the coffee shop.  

[Abigail Genevieve]

Not everyone is called to be an activist.  When you look at fully-transitioned transwomen who identify as women and say their journey is complete, you can say they have arrived, and they can arrive, and there was a lot of work done so they could arrive.  Some of these people, for better or worse, don't have what it takes to do any more than to live our their lives as women.  Feel successful that they can do so.

 

Some people can fully transition and come back and help those who are still struggling.  That can be quiet help and the most helpful, perhaps.

 

There are two kinds of activists - those positively working for change, and those simply out to antagonize those who disagree with them.  The first group may do oppo research and engage people, calling out when they are wrong or have overstated their position.  The US political situation is overheated and few are working to simmer it down on any front.

[MaeBe]

4 minutes ago, Abby Gen said:

 

Not everyone is called to be an activist

 

There was a whole thread on activism, so I won’t rehash that, however I don’t think that’s really at the core of the question here. Are they activists if they simply acknowledge they come from a transgender experience? Sometimes safety begets necessity and I can understand people keeping their history under wraps to stay safe. I can’t speak towards “stealth”, because I cannot experience anything like that and have no experience outside of social media circles with people who can. I would just hope that those girls and guys out there that feel like they need to dissociate themselves from their history openly can one day feel safe/able to open themselves to others. Repression has its own dangers, too. 

[Abigail Genevieve]

1 minute ago, MaeBe said:

There was a whole thread on activism, so I won’t rehash that, however I don’t think that’s really at the core of the question here. Are they activists if they simply acknowledge they come from a transgender experience? Sometimes safety begets necessity and I can understand people keeping their history under wraps to stay safe. I can’t speak towards “stealth”, because I cannot experience anything like that and have no experience outside of social media circles with people who can. I would just hope that those girls and guys out there that feel like they need to dissociate themselves from their history openly can one day feel safe/able to open themselves to others. Repression has its own dangers, too. 

If you are in stealth mode and somebody starts bashing transgender people, you can still say that you disagree with the bashing without even outing yourself.  That is not betraying.  But if you agree that those ----- are disgusting slime from the moral sewers, you just lost your integrity. This can be a difficult place if someone in stealth is in a transphobic environment and culture.

[VickySGV]

Yes the real question here is about the people who want to stay out of the limelight and if you will, go underground and deny their Trans origins and how we each feel about those people in our lives, so lets keep it in that vein.  I know that you younger ones (76 year old here) have actually turned a circle 180 degrees here today.  Since the 50's and 60's there have been massive changes, back then being out of view was considered the best we could do to be authentic and I agree there was not nearly the explosive nature of our being in society back then.  In the 60's and 70's though the marginalized groups as a whole have decided there was too much being missed to keep living that way.  1969 and Stonewall changed the playbook.  I personally think they are still part of the whole fam damily!!