Euphoria and dysphoria

[RaineOnYourParade]

When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.

 

Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage. 

 

It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.

[MaeBe]

That’s super healthy, to see that something that becomes common has less effect on you and that you are able to decipher these feelings.

 

Sadly, this trend tends to only deaden good feelings as we tend not to let bad feelings attenuate the same way.

 

I have noticed less euphoria, but still feel the dysphorias that I have. Sometimes the good sneaks in and reminds me, but often time it’s just me seeing myself in the mirror and being comfortable about what I see when embracing my realized self. I may not get the same buzz I once did, but I don’t feel incongruous when looking at a more “drab” reflection. 
 

Wishing you strength, you are amazing!

[Ashley0616]

It'll come in waves with hormones. I have noticed that when I apply a fresh patch and the next day comes I feel euphoric and towards the end I feel really bad and dysphoria kicks in. I still feel body dysmorphia of what I have and can't wait till SRS

[Jet McCartney]

11 hours ago, RaineOnYourParade said:

When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.

 

Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage. 

 

It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.

Eventually, (especially if you start T,) things will even out. The excitement you feel is from everything being so new. Finally knowing yourself and having others recognise you can be thrilling. However, because it is your natural state of being, eventually that wears off. There's nothing exciting about it anymore because it's "just you." (Which is a perfect thing to be!) This, however, can lead to disappointment. Trust me when I say however, that that disappointment and jarring reaction to wrong pronouns will go away, and you'll once again feel comfortable in yourself.

[Roach]

I noticed something like this too once I socially transitioned. I am so accustomed to people referring to me as a guy and using the right name, that socially I feel fine most of the time. This just makes me more aware of how physically uncomfortable I get sometimes.