ideas for talking peacefully to an overly religious domineering sibling?

[missyjo]

ok ladies if I've asked this before I'm sorry please delete 

 

ok so I have 2vsiblings..one is overly religious..n preachy n domineering..so he keeps trying to talk with me n I'd like to..but he always falls into this all knowing all wise domineering preachy thing tjaz tells me he's praying for christ to beat Satan for control of my soul..which is doomed to hell bc I'm transgender 

 

I'd like to try to have a civil conversation n try to set him strait n gsin a cooperation n real conversation 

 

any suggestions?

[missyjo]

and just fi sweeten it..I'm catholic n he hasn't been for years..he's evangelical..whatever that is

[MaeBe]

Meet him at the being good to others part of Christianity. At the heart of it, there are excellent tenets of the faith. Those that condemn are judging, Jesus would have us be selfless; stone casting and all that. Are you a good person? Are you putting good into the world? If your gender is an issue for God, let God judge. In the mortal realm, let your actions be heard. 

[missyjo]

maebe

thank you

I try to be. I thank God for blessings, try to share them, beg forgiveness for my shortcomings n vow to try to do better...2 priests have said no, God doesn't condemn you just for being trans...but apparently evangelicals do

 

I shall vtry dear

thank you

 

[Abigail Genevieve]

9 hours ago, missyjo said:

maebe

thank you

I try to be. I thank God for blessings, try to share them, beg forgiveness for my shortcomings n vow to try to do better...2 priests have said no, God doesn't condemn you just for being trans...but apparently evangelicals do

 

I shall vtry dear

thank you

 

Not all evangelicals condemn people for being trans.  Some evangelicals are even trans.

 

He can pray for you all he wants, that is fine.  I will personally take all the prayer I can get.

 

It sounds like he has been reading or listening to John McArthur or the SBC.  Not much you can do. Pray for him.

[Abigail Genevieve]

I am an evangelical  I am also transgender.  This is an issue. I have read up on it.  I am not an expert, but I have done a lot of reading.

 

One thing I do not get about people who take that position is that evangelicals are all about salvation by faith alone by Christ alone by grace alone - unless you are transgender.  Then you cannot be saved, these say, unless you do the work of un-transgendering yourself.  Which is, practically, impossible.  I have read the "solutions" and I don't buy them, obviously, because they do not work. 

 

In evangelicalism salvation is by faith alone, Christ alone, grace alone, without any merit of our own.  That means, to an evangelical, we come to Christ as we are,  in the words of a glorious hymn,

 

1 Just as I am, without one plea,
but that thy blood was shed for me,
and that thou bidd'st me come to thee,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

 

2 Just as I am, and waiting not
to rid my soul of one dark blot,
to thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

 

3 Just as I am, though tossed about
with many a conflict, many a doubt,
fightings and fears within, without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

 

4 Just as I am, thou wilt receive,
wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
because thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

 

We do not clean ourselves up BEFORE we come to Christ.  We let Him clean us up AFTER we come to Him. 

 

Those who insist that transgender people cannot be saved are actually preaching another Gospel, a Gospel of works, and have wandered away from the glorious Gospel into works.  That is strong but true.

 

Struggling with legalism and grace, I have found more of God's mercy and grace available to me because I struggle with being transgender and seeking His resolution of it.  Which, not having the struggle, I would not have needed to seek Him earnestly on this. 

 

 

[Abigail Genevieve]

This might help. These are the grace and lace letters dealing with Christianity and transgenderism from someone who struggled with the "conflict".

 

https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net/catalog?f[collection_name_ssim][]=Grace+and+Lace+Letter&sort=dta_sortable_date_dtsi+asc%2C+title_primary_ssort+asc

 

[VickySGV]

Your brother is the person who has decided that "sin" is involved because he has lost control of a part of his life by you taking on your authentic self.  It is not because you have committed any Sin per se, but because he is no longer controlling your life, evangelicism or other wise.  He is using formula words and ideas hoping to re-gain that control over you.  Your Roman Catholicism vs. his choices of religion would be enough to do it in many many cases.  Your being Trans is just one more area of his losing his control.   If your brother were also Roman Catholic, I suspect he would be the same way about you on just the Trans issue itself no matter what your priests would tell him -- he has lost control of your life and is afraid he has lost control of his life. 

 

Family members of any religion who fear loss of control will often cite scriptures they believe support their Position.  If Bible verses are needed, Matthew. 10:34-8 which speaks of division in families over religion would be a casual point directed at your brother's control issues. 

[missyjo]

thank you all

truly 

he phoned today to see how I was..1st time..3ell since I told him.it was clumsy n awkward n my fault too because I didn't feel comfortable giving any real information of what's going on..maybe someday..hopefully he realizes we are pulling further away.i after a lifetime as sibl8ngs  n maybe wishes t9 salvage that..even with me being transgender..but yes I keep getting feelings this is to nudge me out of transness n back to normal 

 

oh well

 

thank you

 

hugs

 

[Ashley0616]

I would challenge him next time about where is being transgender a fatal sin. The only thing he has about giving into fleshy desires. Another thing you can hit at does the Bible cover intersex people? Bible to me stands for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. You could also challenge him as to how many times has the Bible been edited.  You could challenge him on what music, movies, podcasts and tv shows and how they give glory to God. I challenged my mom, and she had nothing to say other than I know I'm right being defensive. 

[missyjo]

smiles

I think I need to help him find a way to simply love others, regardless of identifying with them or understanding their journey..but I thought I recall stories of Jesus being asked which of 10 laws were greatest..n the answer being 1. God us God n have no other gods you worship..asking forgiveness to friends who practice religions with polydieties..but I think catholic say 1 god..n the 2nd rule is almost as important..love each other as I have loved you

 

maybe if I can focus him on we all believe God wants us to love n help each..maybe he'll forget the footnote he seems to be inserting, unless they are lgbt..then they go to hell...nerd

 

sorry probably too politically charged..delete if so with my apologies 

hugs to all who want them

[VickySGV]

I have been thinking of this one a bit today since my first response here.  If you check out the relation that Peter had with Jesus and you can see that even Jesus was criticized for being who Jesus was by Peter.  In that relationship which I have come to think was more of a Chosen Family situation than genetic family,  Peter was telling Jesus who Peter thought Jesus should be. Especially when it came to Jesus being killed for what his true identity was.  Transgender is very much an issue of identity and not primarily about sexuality.  Sexuality is the BIG thing with certain religious groups and if you look at it, it is always about pro-creating kids into certain genealogies and making them new church members. 

[missyjo]

but on a real naive level..isn't my sexuality, who I have sex with, like my genitals .only relevant to those I'm inviting to share my bed?

 

I don't know..but I think he's trying n that's all I can ask. I believe he's struggling to be able to mesh his religious thoughts with somehow still having a sibling..though I'm fairly certain he would pay me, literally, if  I'd I would "just  act normal."."act like a man"and puz all this "sissy -transgender- " stuff aside..and all those other expressions that erase us n ignore us

 

he asked me not to drag him to any -transgender- bars...like Applebee's? laugh

 

oh well, trying is better than not, much better

 

enjoy Tuesday dears

 

hugs