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By MaeBe · Posted
They may feel disappointed or aggrieved, but that's on them. It's on society really. In the end, who should really care other than you and the higher power(s) you believe in? I haven't been a willful volunteer at all in my adult life (if ever), I surely did so as a youth but can you consider that willful if you're required to? Since allowing this part of me to shine I have been more active in the community, volunteering and participating in society in ways I never did before. Perhaps you'll feel the same when you allow yourself to. My wife and my kids all see me and how I've changed. I haven't hidden it away from them, but I realize I may have lucked out with their general acceptance. Where the struggle comes is from my internal fight with putting it out in the world. "What are your pronouns? Have you changed your name?" are all asked of me and it feels like a lot when I just want to be me, but I understand where it comes from. That is why I resolved to register as my nickname and use She/Her at the HRC conference, because I owe it to myself to have permission to embody who am I. Now it's just finding a new job as this person that I am and not the person I thought I was--not eschewing the past, but realizing that there's no reason to feel that that was a better me. It wasn't. -
By EasyE · Posted
Bingo for me!!. In some ways I wish it were more cut and dry. Like some folks on here who knew when they were 2 years old that they were a girl (and everyone else around them knew too). I don't have that. I do have a fascination & enchantment with the feminine that started very young. It is both something I am attracted to (like tonight at Target I couldn't keep my eyes off all the beautiful females in my midst) and something I aspire to be and connect with at a deep level. For me, there has always been a drive to express this feminine dimension outwardly through clothing. I can see that thread from all the way back when I was a kid. I have always wanted to wear girls/women's underwear. And I have always pushed the boundaries of wanting to wear girl stuff under my clothes, though I've known that if I ever got caught (in high school, on my swim team, by my wife!) there would be hell to pay... This drive continued through college, into adulthood, into marriage (even though I thought that would solve it because I could finally be intimate with a woman and it not be a "sin")... I always felt such shame about this part of me until about two years ago I finally started asking myself, "what is so wrong with this?" Once I gave myself permission to explore this further, and with the help of a therapist who for the first time validated my experience instead of shaming me, my "egg cracked" and the embers were fanned into a wildfire (sorry about all the mixed metaphors, lol)... Now I have a whole closet and drawers full of women's clothes (many of which I only wear when I am alone), I am separated from my wife, my kids have an inkling of my feminine side but not much more than that, and I am two months into "covert" HRT wondering when/if there will come a day of reckoning when it becomes obvious what I am doing... I guess deep down I just feel like a misfit and that my life could have been/could be so much more impactful and that I am a giant disappointment to everyone around me... -
By Lydia_R · Posted
I made the pumpkin pie this morning. I like getting older and getting better at making this pie crust. I've never purchased a pre-made pie crust. I make 3-4 pies a year. Mostly pumpkin pies, but apple and blackberry when those come into season. For about 15 years, I was buying about 2 medium carving pumpkins a year and cooking/pureeing them and putting them in 2c measurements into the freezer. I started getting lazy a few years ago and am just doing cans of pumpkin now. -
By Lydia_R · Posted
"Children growing up, old friends growing older. Freeze this moment a little bit longer. Make each sensation a little bit stronger." -Neil Peart Dead bat x2 -
By Ladypcnj · Posted
My parents didn't show me my birth certificate until I started going to school, in the meantime until that happened, I was mostly seen wearing boys' clothes, but my mannerisms mostly female without the use of hormones. My parents thought I was going through as phase, until one day things took a physical turn in my puberty years, which resulted in a family car ride to the hospital emergency. I had my share examinations, treating doctors could not come up a diagnosis what was happening to me. I would soon discover I was born with a hidden variation or undescended, which could had been ovaries inside. Things got to the point which resulted in surgery, I didn't know about. I asked for my surgical medical records, but access denied. So, I live with a surgical scar, and take medication. -
By kristinabee · Posted
It's something John Green said somewhat recently referring to the Emily Dickenson poem "Hope Is the Thing With Feathers." The poems first stanza reads “Hope is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -" It's a beautiful and helpful poem, but what was life changing for me was what John Green said in relation to the poem. "Emily Dickenson doesn't say that one never stops hearing the song of hope, only that it doesn't stop playing... The song of hope is still singing. And I know you can't hear it, but one day soon you will." -
By Ladypcnj · Posted
another link that helped me: Intersex Support and Advocacy Groups Around the World (interactadvocates.org) -
By Ladypcnj · Posted
I like shopping for fashion clothes, finding something nobody else is wearing -
By Adrianna Danielle · Posted
Going to have a paternity test done tommorrow.Having someone come up and get a sample from me.I remember having unprotected sex with her.Her daughter,she seen a picture of me going to adjust well her supposed dad is now a woman -
By KathyLauren · Posted
I don't even need half a hand to count mine. A combination of Protestant prudery, total lack of sex education, and my being the wrong gender. And, it turns out, asexual, though that may be a product of the other factors. -
By ClaireBloom · Posted
That's a great suggestion. One thing I did was start a Pinterest board. If I see something I like, I pin it without overthinking it too much. Eventually a pattern emerges of the kind of clothes that appeal to me. I'm very concerned about being age and venue-appropriate so I concentrate on more "everyday" outfits rather than the sexy stuff. Not that the sexy stuff isn't fun though..... -
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By Sol · Posted
Thank you, @Vidanjali! I'm in the process of applying to universities to transfer to (I got to a local community college currently), and I've got my eye on a specific one but I'm apply to 2-3 more just in case. I'm also trying to apply for a job! Another minor update is that I'm able to purchase trans tape now! I got it in blue because I like colors and pink was sold out, but hopefully the adhesive reacts well to my skin and I can use it to bind. This is another weapon I may have in the ongoing battle with dysphoria, but I think if it works, it'll work really well! Fingers crossed, and y'all have a good day! -
By Davie · Posted
“I can't play bridge. I don't play tennis. All those things that people learn, and I admire, there hasn't seemed time for. But what there is time for is looking out the window.” — Alice Munro -
By Ladypcnj · Posted
I can relate to looking in the mirror at a young age in life, whenever I explained to my parents, it resulted in a car ride to the hospital emergency room. -
By Mmindy · Posted
Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums @Nicola_Atherton Best wishes, stay positive, and motivated. Mindy🌈🐛🏳️⚧️🦋
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