Confused

[Guest Maxxi]

Hi, im new to the forums and im so confused! I'm 14 and transgender (mtf) i crossdress whenever i can but i dont have a sister or anything so im stuck with using my mums makeup and clothes. I'm going insane keeping this bottled up, cutting my arm when im in class because i keep getting distracted thinking about it and the only way i can keep my mind off it is cutting myself. I don't know what to do because im worried about telling anyone, what they'll think, what they'll do, will they keep it a secret, will my parents find out, should i tell my parents, what will my parents think, will my brother make fun of me, if i do tell anyone will it mess up my dream of becoming a doctor and so on. I keep trying to get an appointment with the school pyschiatrist to talk to her about it, i really want to act on this soon because i really want to be a girl and the sooner i come out the better ill look right? i saw Kim Patres on the news the other day and as soon as i saw that you could look so beautiful after being born the wrong sex i almost started crying. Can someone please help me think strait!

thx luv ya all

Maxi

[Sally]

Hi Maxi,

I'm going to move this to the introductions forum so more people will see it and come to say hi so follow me over to the members lounge.

Let me offer you a seat her beside me while I get you a cup of hot cocoa and some fresh baked cookies, now let's talk for a minute.

The first thing is to stop cutting, it won't change anything but it will leave scars and pretty young ladies don't need scars.

Coming out to your parents and friends is something that you will have to decide when you want to do it.

How good you will look s more dependent on genetics than just age of trasition, it is easier younger but not out of the question later.

Most of the doctors that I know of became doctors before they transitioned but I don't think that it would really make any difference.

We are all here to help support you and get you to stop cutting and started on your journey.

Welcome to the family and we will all be here for you.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Maxxi

You are not alone. You are probably amoung at least a thousand of us here at Lauta's that know exactly how you feel. At your age and going into puberty, your emotions also are running overtime. So relax, take a deep breath and realize you have your whole life startng up - where you will get more and more control over your destiny. So you are doing something right - talking to your school psychiatrist, and you are doing something wrong in cutting. Cutting is an addictive behavour - you may not know that. It will also foul you up with the psychiatrist as he will focus on that rather than on your gender questions.

Also - know that your gender questions may be anything - so don't label yourself. Also if you ARE transgender, remember no one understand it very well outside the community - and you will run into a lot of non-acceptance. What you must do is NOT try to explain it (except to the psychiatrist) - how you feel in detail - but rather say you have a condition that needs checking out. You need suppost, not necessarily acceptance.

So its not easy - but Maxxi - it's not your fault. You never chose to be the way you are, none of us did. You can live a happy life. Just understand it will be complicated for a while.

PLEASE stay with us and post what is going on. We want to help all we can. Many here are your age - they are very smart and they really like to help. You may go anywhere in the Forum - but look in the teen section. We try to keep this site as protected as we can, and really safe for our young people.

Hope this helps - and WELCOME

Lizzy

[Guest CharliTo]

*pats head*

You're 14 kid. Don't worry, you have an abundant amount of potential to still be passable.

Also, everything you're saying, probably were the same exact questions I had when I was 16..except I had no one to ask these questions and the resources.

As far as your parents & siblings, I'm not sure how they'd react, but if your parents are liberal, they might have a better response than you'd think. What kind family do you have?

Also...as far as your dreams and aspirations... I had that question awhile ago but it won't get in your way. I'm pretty sure it won't as long as you try hard studying and keeping up with your education. I mean, I'm fairly surprise to see that I am somehow surviving by being a filmmaker o_O for over a year after my graduation now. Wee~. On the other hand, I know a friend in real life who's a IT specialist and just got hired as a really good position because she knew her stuffs. Now, she tells me that she's in the best work environment with her co-workers giving her a flower the first day of work. :]

I'm glad you found here and hopefully you can find yourself here. *hug*

Welcome to the forums.

[Guest Evan_J]

[You three ladies are not easy acts to follow. You know this don't you?lol]

They were all right. You don't need the scars. And they will become a focal point instead of what should be. Besides, has doing it changed anything for you up until now? Stop. It's addictive, like Lizzy said, and believe me I know addictive. Listen to all of what Lizzy said; really take it to heart. And make a note that Sally is a world-class hugger/feeder (you'll find out later about her virtual food. They don't call her "mama Sally " for nothin lol). And Charli? Well Charli is an outstanding example of a young person who stuck to her guns about what she was going to become Good person to hang around if you want to be a doctor. Welcome to the forum.

[Guest April63]

Hi, welcome.

First, stop cutting yourself. Seriously, it just hurts. It doesn't really accomplish anything, except perhaps a scar, and I don't know why you would want one of those.

Second, i think we have some things in common. I'm 17 by the way.

[Guest Alyssa Leigh]

Hi Maxxi

Welcome to the playground everyone is so nice here, so make yourself at home and look around at what ever interests you and ask questions.

Alyssa