Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Beware The Dietitian...


Guest Eck

Recommended Posts

Guest ~Brenda~
I know it was unprofessional, but I don't understand how she was being ignorant.

April, Sweetheart,

Anyone who is a professional in the healthcare industry knows not to make the patient feel defensive nor distrustful of the healthcare provider. Eck's nutritionalist violated both and more. It was not the dieticians place to make comments on Ecks appearance. The dietician's job is to evaluate one's diet and nutritional well being and to prescribe diet changes if necessary. It was not the dietician's place to make comments about dress or makeup!!

In the professional world, you are expected to perform your profession.. only!! You are not expected, nor is it tolerated, to make personal comments about one's appearance based on your personal judgement.

Professionalism means specifically that you put your personal prejudices aside and you deal with the situation at hand, unbiased and within your profession. What this dietician did violated every professional ethic known.

This person should be removed from the profession.

When you grow older hon, you will understand

Brenda

Link to comment
Guest Stacey Nicole

I have to agree, her duties are to guide you on a dietary path for a healthy body...not to give fashion tips to make you "look" healthier.

Link to comment
Guest NicolaiAE

I would have decked her...no amount of anger management classes would have cured me of that. :banghead:

I'm sorry you had to go through that and I sincerely hope you didn't have to pay for the visit. You did better than me at handling it though. :P

-Nicolai

Link to comment
Guest April63

I see. But I would expect that she be given freedom of speech while on the job. Oh well, it doesn't really matter. I'm going off topic.

Link to comment
Guest CharlieRose
I see. But I would expect that she be given freedom of speech while on the job. Oh well, it doesn't really matter. I'm going off topic.

Well, sure, *legally* she has freedom of speech. If she wants to remain within the bounds of tact, however, she's going to have to refrain from assuming everyone is like her, that Eck was too naive to realize what he was wearing and didn't have his own personal reasons for wearing it, and many, many other things.

Link to comment
Guest Cody_T
I see. But I would expect that she be given freedom of speech while on the job. Oh well, it doesn't really matter. I'm going off topic.

freedom of speech ends where society begins. No matter how idealistic you get about the bill of rights, you're still being constrained by everyone you meet and every situation you enter in to, and there are consequences when you don't follow the accepted rules. And when you're being paid for a consultation of this sort (where all you really have to offer are your words) what you say is basically your product. On your job, you tend to have less freedom of speech than in any other situation because of the tenuous relationship with a customer or boss. And even were she not in that position, it's rude to assume that someone else wants you to step in and insist on them accepting your opinion of their life unsolicited. When you get right down to it, you never get to say what you want. You say what you can, and if you're smart you'll hold the rest back.

Link to comment
freedom of speech ends where society begins. No matter how idealistic you get about the bill of rights, you're still being constrained by everyone you meet and every situation you enter in to, and there are consequences when you don't follow the accepted rules. And when you're being paid for a consultation of this sort (where all you really have to offer are your words) what you say is basically your product. On your job, you tend to have less freedom of speech than in any other situation because of the tenuous relationship with a customer or boss. And even were she not in that position, it's rude to assume that someone else wants you to step in and insist on them accepting your opinion of their life unsolicited. When you get right down to it, you never get to say what you want. You say what you can, and if you're smart you'll hold the rest back.

well said, Cody, biy.

Link to comment
Guest tapiarachael

This sounds like something outta Alice in Wonderland! A dietician talking about clothes and makeup? You sure you haven't been down any rabbit holes lately? o_O

Link to comment
Guest Mr.Yoav

How ignorant and closeminded.

This actually makes me really mad.

And true, it isn't her job to be telling you what you should wear. That's not fair. That's your choice.

Link to comment
Guest Zabrak

Just because you have 'freedom of speech' doen't mean you want to say everything that comes to your head. Why don't you want to say it? Why is she ignorant? Shes ignorant to the fact by insulting her customers she's losing business deals. She's talking about things that CAN and WILL upset people, and if she was smart she'd have common sense to know that those topics are often sensitive to people. If you want a job but you enjoy small talk then talk about something thats not going to put your sale on risk.

If you where hired somewhere and using your 'freedom of speech' to insult people or tell people things about themselves and its not part of your job, your boss would fire you. Why? Because the smarter people keep their opinions to themselves and do their jobs.

Every interaction outside of jobs have a 'social dance' to it. Do you go up to your teachers at school and call them stupid? No. Why? Common sense because you know the punishment that it may lead too. Its something you should and WILL learn. You need to be graceful to get around because if you're going to be blunt and rude all the time you arne't going to get anywhere in the world.

Link to comment
Guest StrandedOutThere
I see. But I would expect that she be given freedom of speech while on the job. Oh well, it doesn't really matter. I'm going off topic.

Where she would cross the line would be giving professional advice that was outside her area of expertise. For example, it wouldn't be appropriate for a hairdresser to give advice about diet and weight loss. It'd be okay to talk casually with a hairdresser about those topics, but it wouldn't be appropriate for the hairdresser to present advice as if it were a professional opinion. Likewise, since I assume that the dietitian was being paid for her time, she was, in essence, giving professional advice about things that were not germane to the purpose of the visit. Furthermore, it sounds like she offered little, if any, advice about diet.

Link to comment
Guest Ryles_D
I see. But I would expect that she be given freedom of speech while on the job. Oh well, it doesn't really matter. I'm going off topic.

A waiter could be a jack*** to his tables if he wanted to, but he'll get some miserable tips, which is a big chunk of a waiter's income, and will likely be fired. If that dietician makes a habit of treating her office as "Extreme Makeover" and ignoring the diet issues that patients actually came in for- she'll lose business. If she'd been professional and done her job, there's a good chance Eck would have made that follow-up appointment. If she loses enough, she'll be out of a job. So, she is free to say what she wants- but that doesn't mean she's free from the consequences.

It was also ignorant and close-minded to tell anyone that they need to dress more feminine or masculine. She was making assumptions about Eck's presentation and comfort that she shouldn't have been making, which were most likely fueled by Eck's birth sex. She's pushing cisnormative ideals and seems to be discriminating against those who don't fit into how she feels people of their gender should be.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 244 Guests (See full list)

    • mattie22
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      769.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,085
    • Most Online
      8,356

    blakethetiredracc00n
    Newest Member
    blakethetiredracc00n
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. FullyHart
      FullyHart
    2. MariPosa
      MariPosa
      (65 years old)
    3. pechenezhka
      pechenezhka
      (17 years old)
    4. Rubycd
      Rubycd
      (59 years old)
    5. Yana
      Yana
      (31 years old)
  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      He has also vowed to NOT ACCEPT the election results even if they  clearly show he lost.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://watermarkonline.com/2024/05/13/trump-vows-to-reverse-transgender-student-protections-on-day-one/     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-politics-and-policy/mississippi-reeves-transgender-bathroom-ban-public-schools-rcna152036     As in every such case, who will check birth certificates at the restroom doors?  This law will not, and can not, stand.  We'll see you in court, governor.   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      I've been looking forward to the legitimate medical groups coming out strongly against Cass' biased and one sided report, so I'm really glad to see the article you posted, @Davie.  Unfortunately, it won't get nearly the coverage that Cass has gotten.  She has done her dirty work.  Hopefully the pushback and investigative reports on her and her support network will result in her work being shown for what it is.  She is a fraud, and sooner or later all frauds are found out.   Carolyn Marie
    • KayC
      CONGRATULATIONS, Jessica!!  That's really BIG! I myself did not experience a huge emotional roller coaster.  It was more like a smooth slide into emotional comfort.  The biggest effect I felt is when my Dr put me on T-blockers first.  I felt a bit 'empty' for a couple of months, but then realized it was just because the 'T-monster' was no longer running around inside of me.  Then I felt it was my new 'normal'. I feel like the estradiol was the 'frosting' on my transition affirmation.  It's been only positives.  I do cry a lot more, but it's only because I finally feel free to allow my emotions to come out.  To me it's not 'hormonal' ... it's FREEDOM!   Everybody is different but it sounds like you are under great care.  I hope you have a beautiful first year in transition on HRT (keep us updated if you can).
    • Desert Fox
      Yeah, whatever happened to “good morning”?  I think “hey you” can also work to address people without offense…”you” can be single or plural so that works for any gender, non binary, or any group of people, and can be pleasantly offensive or neutral.   And I am very familiar with the experience of being “ma’amed” while in boy mode, particularly on the phone by customer support people located outside north America for some reason. 
    • KayC
      I'm hoping this election cycle might finally cause 'that' party to pay a price for such nonsense.
    • Desert Fox
      So nice to hear things are going well for you. Support is huge and that is especially great when it comes from your SO as well as your family and son. I think being happy with one’s own life’s direction can set the stage for not only other successes but attract others who are in alignment with one’s own ideals. it sounds like you are definitely on a positive trajectory!
    • Desert Fox
      There is some progress being made, some positive awakening from those who understand the difference between biology and the societal roles and rules that have been created by humans to separate, restrict and control other humans. Unfortunately so many people are still set in one way of thinking about gender, whether it benefits them directly to do so or they just fail to think about things for themselves for whatever reason, and they often cite religious or other historical sources to try to back up their argument, sources which typically could be open to various interpretations.   Pushing boundaries is what makes progress and it’s what we are meant to do…but most everyone that has pushed a boundary also gets pushback. Most everyone who has disagreed with conventional thought is called a fool or worse; those who invent something get ridiculed and laughed out, then their ideas are stolen for someone else’s profit. We suffer tremendously to push boundaries but ultimately it’s what society needs to evolve.
    • Ashley0616
      Goodness! You sure have been busy! That's really crappy of what your oldest pulled. That part about the talking about getting asked if it's an enhancement was funny. I guess your boss is going to miss you and just has a funny way of showing it? 
    • Desert Fox
      I read this thread with great interest…thank you, Sally for sharing your life in this detail. As I too identify as bigender, I suppose I am also looking for validation of my experience because I don’t know many transgender individuals that stay in a long-term part-time situation. For most, bigender seems to be a temporary step to fill-time transition or it is more of something someone puts on, as in cross dressing or drag. I have always struggled to explain how someone could legitimately have two identities sharing one body, yet that’s basically how it has been for me for my whole life, all the way back to early childhood.    You and I are roughly in the same era, and growing up with gender variance was different than it is nowadays. Some of our experiences were similar, but generally your life went quite differently than mine.   Back in the day, a part-time person was called a transvestite and a full-timer was called a transsexual (often committing to bottom surgery as well), but I’ve really come to dislike the cross dresser/transvestite label because it tends to be associated with those who are fine with being cis, but like to dress in drag for fun or fetish. And that doesn’t describe all part-timers. I would say that I’m actually a transsexual who chose never to transition, and presenting female part-time is how I have coped with lifelong gender dysphoria. I don’t like myself being male, and never did, I simply accept that I am and have lived most of my life that way and just don’t care to put in the effort and money to transition.  I’m naturally a pretty girly male but I have to add hair, makeup and clothing to present female and I also try to “tone down” my girliness in male form. True androgyny never worked for me; I always switched between male and female looks, but at least that allowed me to use public bathrooms without issue.     I’m very curious - did you have a set of people, ie friends, family, coworkers, who only knew you as “male” and another set who knew you as Sally, with only a few (like your wife) knowing both sides? Such was more or less the case with me. 
    • mattie22
      I feel like a fake sometimes I am not really transfeminine WELL UNDER THEAT UMBRALA but whatever i call it. Like i do not deserve it others know ealer than me and did not identify as their gender at birth well It is more like just enough of me did to get by growing up and there were not many other options on what else i could be and when i got older i just found out about the standard trans people feel like they're born in the wrong body and i saw my self as a male so this could not be me even though it did not comply fit me. even though there is a part of me that likes to be seen and treated like a woman and ideally would probably like to live at least 70 percent of my time as one and perhaps the rest as male but what does this make a freak. also, I am around people who do not like people like me and they are family and do not know. this makes me feel even worse. Sometimes I wonder if I m just some gnc male, who is just using this as an escape if I become a woman for real I do not have to deal with all the crap that comes with being a feminine bisexual male. There are so many layers.
    • MaeBe
      I bet you looked every pennies worth of that million! I'm sure, even beyond the courtier's interactions it was a very fun evening.
    • MaeBe
      I haven't been posting much, it's been a bit of a whirlwind: My wife took a job in WA State, meaning we're moving halfway across the country by the end of the Summer. I was told "it would be good if you had a new job by the end of the month", meaning I'm getting laid off at the same time. My eldest snuck booze while we were at our friends' house, had a bad interaction with his anti-depressants, and then had the huevos to lie that he wasn't drunk while accusing us of not trusting him. There's been a lot to process lately.   That said, I got called ma'am for the first time today while out. Twice! I can't stop thinking about it. Later, my dad showed up without plan to watch the Liverpool match and I was way more girled up (see ma'am) than he's ever seen me; hair, makeup, tight top, skinny jeans, and brand new sandals. At one point he pointed at my boob and asked, "is that 'enhancement'?". If you call a t-shirt bra enhancement, I guess? "Nope, that's just me!". Later, my boss came at me all passive-aggressive via chat after hours, too. I'm kind of tired with his -crap-. I won't have a job in two weeks, so it's cool to just assume I'm sabotaging things? K. /eyeroll   It's been an interesting day.
    • Sally Stone
      Post 12   “First Kiss”   It was October 29th, 2003.  My dear friend Willa had purchased tickets for the two of us to attend “Red Hot Halloween,” a public Halloween party held at the Sanctuary in downtown Pittsburgh.  The event was a fund raiser benefitting the Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force.  It was a great cause but it was also the perfect opportunity to let the adventurous side of my feminine persona have a little fun.    My first question to Willa was: “What should I wear?”    “Are you kidding?” She responded.  “This is your opportunity to be the Sally of your dreams.  I suggest you dress to impress.”   My first thought was to dress naughty.  It was Halloween, so it could be the perfect venue for something with an erotic edge to it.  I thought about going as a dominatrix or a naughty French maid.  After we talked about it, and weighed the pros and cons, Willa and I decided against naughty, and instead, chose to wear the fanciest evening gowns we could find.  Willa bought an expensive, silver sequined gown, and matching high-heels just for the event.  Me, on the other hand, I couldn’t justify spending big bucks on an evening gown for a single event, so I took a less expensive route.  It is amazing what you can find on the sale racks at big department stores when you look hard enough.  For a mere 30-dollars, I found a black, sleeveless column gown with matching bolero jacket.  The dress had a slit up the right leg, and it went all the way to my upper thigh, very sexy.  Being a column dress, it was form-fitting, and hugged my curves like a glove.  To complement my dress, I wore black patent high-heel pumps, a long blonde wig, and a set of long red fingernails.  As I recall, it took me three-hours just to do my makeup.  The end result, though, was worth the effort, because I felt like a million bucks.  It’s so obvious, why girls love dressing up – it’s an unbelievable high!   Inside the club it was a sea of bodies and the costumes were amazing.  At one point, I was standing on a balcony that overlooked the dance floor.  I was nursing a cocktail and watching the crowd.  Suddenly, there was a gentleman standing next to me; I didn’t notice his approach.  He told me I looked fabulous and he offered to buy me another drink.  I declined his drink offer, but we struck up a conversation.  Being a little slow, it took me a while to realize he was hitting on me. I never imagined anyone would ever actually be attracted to Sally, which I think contributed to my cluelessness.  So, I was shocked, and initially, a little creeped out as well.  After all, I wasn't into guys, and this was new to me.  As we continued talking, and he kept throwing accolades my way, I went from being uncomfortable to actually being flattered.    The event, being an AIDS fund raiser, had me assuming this guy was hitting on me because he was gay, and he thought I was, as well.  I wanted to set the record straight, so I casually mentioned that I wasn’t gay.  To my amazement, he responded by saying: “neither am I.”  Okay, now what was I supposed to do?  I didn’t want to be rude, but I didn’t want to send the wrong message either.  While I was trying to decide how to tell him I wasn’t interested, he asked if he could kiss me.  Not sure what I was thinking at that moment, I said “okay.”  He kissed me, and as strange as it was, I gave into it, not pulling away or disengaging.  It wasn’t a super passionate kiss, but it was more than a friendly peck on the lips, and I actually enjoyed it.  When we separated; however, I got the sense his passion had cooled.  I could only assume that my response to his kiss sent some kind of message that I wasn’t interested.    Whatever it was he picked up on, it let me off the hook, and I didn’t have to rebuff any further advances.  For this I was grateful, but at the same time, I was actually a little disappointed.  Clearly, I wasn’t going to lead him on, but it was so gratifying to know I had sparked his interest.  Despite his diminished passion, and his obvious realization I wasn’t going to be his girl, he remained the perfect gentleman.  We chatted for a few minutes more, then he gave me the nicest smile.  Again, he commented on how terrific I looked.  Then he added, “maybe I’ll see you later.”    It was hard for me to reconcile how I could have garnered the attention of a man.  In my mind’s eye, I knew my feminine presentation didn’t completely mask my birth sex, so why would a self-proclaimed straight guy actually be interested in me?  Had it been the only time something like this would happen, I would have chalked it up to random chance.  But it wouldn’t be the last time a man would hit on me.  It doesn’t happen often, but it still occurs more than I would have guessed, and I'm always surprised.    I have never asked, but I have always been curious to know my would-be suitor’s motivations.  Were they hitting on me simply because they happened to be fond of trans women, or was their attraction triggered by connecting with my inner woman?  And, however unlikely, did they mistake me for a cis woman?  I guess it really doesn’t matter much one way or the other, because ultimately, I’m not looking for any kind of a relationship.  However, I’d be fibbing if I said I wasn’t at least a little interested in another opportunity to get kissed.   Hugs,   Sally
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...