Its So Confussing...

[Guest Samm]

Hey,

I am new to the forum. as u can tell by my post count lol.

soo Anyway lets get straight to the point.

I have no idea where i would fit into the trans community(if thats what i should call it).

Basically ive crossdressed for many years in the privacy of my home (when my family is out) and for a time i was very satisfyed with it.

And soo when i was younger i kinda always felt that i wanted to be female, untill my first sexual interaction where for a time when i was with that person i felt i wanted to be male, after it had passed the feeling of wanting to be female came back again, but much much more stronger. for a time anyway, untill i lost a lot of waight(5 stone 70 pounds) and for time again i was very happy with who i was but there was still a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, and because of stress from exams and the feeling of wanting to be female and a problem with a friend who made everything go all confussing for many months.i have never actually followed these feelings tho, This is because of many reason, first of all my dad is so proud of his son, he always had wanted a little boy ( told by my mother) and they had tried for many years to have me and i would feel bad that i wanted to change what they had made. My biggest problem tho is that i belive that my meaning in life is to have children and provide a good life etc ,and if i was going to become female i would have to go all the way (SRS) i would not want to be half way.

Also ive always felt more comfortable around females, as a result of this it caused me quite abit of sadness, all of my female friends had a "girls" night in and it really botherd me that i was excluded because of what was in my pants...it really affected me anyway.

I did tell some of my friends about wanting to be female and they both reacted that they want me to be happy and they would support me witch was quite nice but i would have hoped they would include me in some more Feminie stuff.

And to top it all off i love shoe shopping. no idea why tbh.

It suppriseingly took me a few days to build the courage up to write this here :s

Thanks for reading

Sam

[Carolyn Marie]

First, off, I want to welcome you to Laura's. You've really found a tremendous resource for all your

questions, and a great place to meet like minded friends. Sally and Donna Jean will be along

any minute with the traditional welcome snacks of delicious cocoa and chocolate chip cookies. I can

smell them already.

You sound much younger than I am, but some of your questions and experiences sound a lot like the ones I was

asking myself when I first became a member.

One thing I will say concerning your desire to live up to expectations, after doing the same thing

myself all these years, is that if that is your reason for not doing what you want, and being who

you really are, you may satisfy those around you, but you'll never satisfy yourself, and you'll

never be happy. It comes back to haunt you sooner than later. As trite as it sounds, you

need to be true to yourself.

As for family, OK so you can't be a biological mother, but you can certainly be a parent. There

are always options.

You really need to talk with a gender therapist to work these isues out. That's the best advice I have.

Once you post five times, you can send private messages (PM's) to other members. Take care.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Samm]

Thanks for the Reply,

How would i go about finding a gender therapist, or even a therapist :S in the UK.

and if anyone knows if its coverd by the NHS :s

[Carolyn Marie]

Thanks for the Reply,

How would i go about finding a gender therapist, or even a therapist :S in the UK.

and if anyone knows if its coverd by the NHS :s

There are quite a few members here from the UK. I'm certain they can offer some advice in that regard.

You could also check the local or regional association of psychologists (they should have a web site), and

hopefully they list psychologists by specialty. Lastly, there is always Google. Try searching "gender therapists

in the U.K." or more specifically England, or Scotland or...you get the idea.

Try looking through the Therapy and Therapists forum here. You should come up with some hits.

Good luck, honey.

Carolyn

[Guest Elizabeth K]

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME

You story is much like the feelings most of us have always had. You cannot self diagnose, though, you can only guess what you may really feel you are. It's best to work with a therapist who is tranded in Gender Dysphoria. I don't know anything about the area where you live - and our country does not have tha same systems.

But - its important to understand you are just fine as you are. You must accept yourself and listen to your heart as to what you want to do. If diagnosed as transsexual, the options are there for transition. It id HARD to be trans, but it will certainly be a journey that will end up with you being what you really are.

That said, I am a late comer to TS, I am transitioning and have stated hormones. I will go through SRS.

But I have been married and have three grown children. So my life has been complicated.

Good luck on your journey... look around and ask some questions, post some opinions. We are a group of friendly, supportive people here.

Lizzy

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hi, Sam.....

Welcome to the Playground, Honey...

Well, there is some good stuff from two very smart ladies!

You need too look for a gender therapist...and this is a very good place to start....

http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm

It's a page right here on Laura's....

Now...About those treats....

Here's some nice hot coco and a handfull of Sally's cookies to make you feel right at home!

Please have a look at the link above and get back to us.....OK?

It's really nice to have you here with us!

Love

Donna Jean

[Guest Samm]

Thanks for the replys, they really do mean a lot to me

I talked to one of my male friends about another problem not very important. anyway he told me that i should call my doctors and book an appointment and then explain my problems and either they can help me would move me along to someone more qualifyed to help.

I will try post back asap

Thanks

xx

[Guest Samm]

I thought i would update you all,

So i told about 4 friends about my ' Gender dysphoria' and there reactions varied,

two of them, said they would support me and i think kindof understood, witch is great.

one of them kinda joked about it and we havent talked about it.

and my last friend reacted really badly( not sure if i wouild call her a friend now tho :S) but anyway i told her, and she just walked away and we havent talked since friday. we were at a party on monday and she was so umm uninterested like one word ansers :S

i guess it shows how some people react differently

Sam

xx

[Carolyn Marie]

I thought i would update you all,

So i told about 4 friends about my ' Gender dysphoria' and there reactions varied,

two of them, said they would support me and i think kindof understood, witch is great.

one of them kinda joked about it and we havent talked about it.

and my last friend reacted really badly( not sure if i wouild call her a friend now tho :S) but anyway i told her, and she just walked away and we havent talked since friday. we were at a party on monday and she was so umm uninterested like one word ansers :S

i guess it shows how some people react differently

Sam

xx

Samm, just a suggestion, but you might want to hold off telling any more folks until you've at least had a

chance to talk to a therapist and get a good handle on where you want to go with this. If you decide

that transitioning is right for you, there is plenty of time to let people know in the time and manner

that works best for you. There is no rush, and you don't necessarily want it out there before you've

really decided. The negative reactions can be hard enough to take after you have actually started HRT

or lived outwardly in your true gender. Dealing with a lot of that now could possibly set you back.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Samm]

Its been about a month since i posted here and i still havent found the courage to go and see my doctor about my problem, ive been reserching quite alot about lots of different gender dysphorias, and personaly i believe that i could posibly be androgynous but i still dont know, it seemed to fit the best. i guess its just hard to try and get professional help :S hmm

and i must say thanks to all you peeeps most support ive ever had online ever for any problem

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Samm,

I am sorry for this late reply. I somehow missed your introduction. I just wanted to welcome you to Laura's and don't worry hon. Take your time. There is no rush. One step at a time my darling, one step at a time.

Love you

Brenda