Addiction To Amphetamines

[Guest uncertain_cd]

When it comes to abusing drugs I fit right in. Ive done everything you can name from pharms, psychedelics,deliriants, stimulants, Opiates, R/C ( research chemicals) etc.

I never liked downers except for benzodiazepenes (sp?) ex : xanax, Klonopin, Ive always been 110% alcohol and think it's thee most pointless high in the world + I very much hate the drinking scene. Opiates bore me and Ive had my share of psychedelics and deliriants for a while.

The class of drugs that I like is the stimulants from cocaine to amphetamines to piperazines.

Ive had my fair share of MDMA and MDA back in 2007. I used to loveeee rolling but I pushed it and unfortunately it lost it's magic for me never to get back ever since.

Cocaine was a great drug except for the fact that it lasts such a short period of time and costs a lot for nothing. I'm not talking about all this cut up blowcaine, [edited] but after that 10 minutes the dream is over so you gotta do more and it's pretty lame.

Amphetamine and Methamphetamine, now these are the drugs that I would die for. The first time I tried Amphetamine[edited]. At the time I was severely depressed.

[edited]

I fell in love with speed within the first minute cause in less then a minute [edited] my severe depression was gone and I was suddenly feeling awake and full of energy, I felt ready to take on the universe and nothing can stop me, I was feeling BOMB. The rush intensified and I was starting to speed hard and it was the best feeling ever! That feeling of raw power and invincibility was amazing!

Ever since that [edited] day I started using it every single day for over 2 1/2 years . I'm one of the lucky people so I never experienced those dreaded 'crashes' and comedowns, I love eating when sped which is weird and it all around feels perfect. I become a hardcore tweaker taking large amounts of amphetamine and methamphetamine orally, intranasally and occasionally smoked. I still looked normal and you couldn't even tell I was spun out of my mind cause I was pro at handling this drug which is why I kept it a secret from everyone except friends. My life was great being a tweaker to be honest, feeling that way all day everyday for days on end and staying awake and all was mad fun. I learned A LOT and met a bunch of new people since it made me more sociable. I used to workout on it and bikeride to the ends of the earth at all hours of the day and night so I was always on the move. I remember these past tweaker years so well cause I spent them awake rather then sleeping like every other normal person.

Music, OMG! I'm a huge metal head and listening to all my favorite melodic death metal bands etc on speed is the ultimate rush of intensity, speed and metal were made to go together!

I'm sorry to cut the timeline and full story short but since I'm not on speed anymore I really don't feel like typing it all, at least right now.

I had quit using the crystal (methamp) a while back and just kept using street speed powder/speed pills/ Adderall/Dexedrine. I got myself a LOT of adderall XR's from an undiscllosed online source and I had a whole of Dexedrines along with street speed powder/pills and I became a hardcore speedfreak dosing [edited] mg of adderall a day with dexedrines and street speed, I'd do at a BARE minimum [edited] mg of speed per day but it was always over [edited]a day of combined Amphetamine.

I did this from January till April before I couldn't do it anymore and I felt 'worn out! 2 weeks sober and went right back to it up till June 8th of 2009 whi9ch wads the last day I thouched any amps.

I had been feeling really messed up and out of sync with reality and being that superhuman self but then one day something happened, I cried for the first time in years then cried again, and again, and again and I was having full blown breakdowns just cryinggg which is why I kept using from april till june, numb those emotions and feel powerful instead of weak since I was taught that whole 'men don't cry and never show emotions' thing. I cried A LOT during those months and on June 8th it was the last time.

Ive been sober ever since and since my depression was still there I just cried and kept crying so much all day everyday. I felt horrible and hopeless etc. After talkiong to some online friends and them being supportive and reassuring me it's gonna be alright it finally did to start get better now. I don't cry no where near as much and I don't feel completely hopeless about it anymore. My temper calmed down as well and I'm less nervous as I was a speedfreak for sure!

I'm taking it day by day and I have some good days and some bad but it's getting better and hopefully I can get over my addiction to the best substance on earth (to me). I just LOVE this drug and I can;t use it recreatioanlly just once in a while so I'm quitting for good.

That's about it, I just wanted to share a little bit about my battle with addiction the amphetamine/methamp and how I'm doing now.

Any tips, pointers or support anyone has to offer is greatly appreciated

[Guest Elizabeth K]

This post was edited, specifically for the rule of "not discussing actual dosages" for legal reasons.

This post has been approved as it makes many valid points on drug abuse.

Elizabeth Anne

[Guest April63]

I'm glad you're deciding to quit. Drugs really don't do you any good. They just mess with your head and your sense of reality. And they damage your health.

[Guest ricka]

Hun---first of all congratulations and hugs and kisses from me! Recovery is a life-long journey. Baby, we have addict brains---physiologically our brains are configurated differently than non-addict brains. We are _always_ gonna be chasing that next high! That's how our brains work, pure and simple. But there are healthy highs and I am not talking about drugs. I have a friend who was a meth addict who jumps out of airplanes now!! When I got clean and sober I found my first "high" at the gym. God help the person who happened to be using the machine weights when I wanted to use them, LOL!!! When I got clean and sober a wonderful friend asked me what was likely to be my next "drug of choice." That helped me a lot. I got into chasing guys like I was chasing a bag for a while. I really found working the steps helped me a lot. It was years later that I had the ephiphany that the 12 steps applied to my whole life--not just drugs and alcohol. Like they say the only thing you have to change is everything. The thing is that the world gets changed for the good by us folks who are chasing the healthy highs.

ricka