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By Mirrabooka · Posted
I’m posting this here because maybe it is a sign that I dislike my natal self in some ways that I hadn’t thought of before. A situation happened yesterday which ended up giving me a good ol’ reality check. It left me feeling quite deflated. As a result, once again, I’m questioning my place on the trans rainbow spectrum. It’s not so much that I feel like an imposter, but rather, I feel like an alien. Our oldest daughter is a single mom and her daughter, our granddaughter, is going on seven. They had a special event at her school yesterday; it was Special Person’s Day, where parents or significant others were invited to participate in some out-of-class activities in the last hour with the students. Since our daughter was working, my wife and I were glad to attend in her place and our granddaughter was thrilled to see us. My wife isn’t disabled, but she’s not especially capable of doing physical stuff. So, it was always going to be me holding onto the tug-of-war rope with half a dozen mothers against the kids, just as it was to get in the rock/paper/scissors comp where the loser went to the back of the line and the winner had to sprint madly along the line to mee the next contestant. It was nice to be doing something amongst a group of lovely women, not that they knew that I was emulating them. There was some small talk and a bit of gentle banter with these strangers, and it felt nice; I felt included. Of course, these women were just being good humans and not actually including me as one of them. Not that I expected them to do so. Then we went to the art room and waited outside until the previous group finished up. I became observant during this time, not ogling the ladies amongst the throng at all, but just taking in their hairstyles and clothing choices and the spontaneous, intuitive conversations between them. I started to get a sinking feeling. I was nothing like them, not just in appearance, but in womanly ways. Once inside and assisting the kids, I found it impossible to interact with any of the mothers at all. It’s as if I could see their large pink auras all intermingling, and here was I with my tiny blue (purple at best) aura tied to an anvil and unable to think of myself as anything but an outlier. I almost felt embarrassed to have long hair. It doesn’t matter how womanly I feel inside, or what feminine mannerisms automatically happen, or how I might display myself to keep my inner woman happy – I am missing the naturality of it all. And that's what gave me the feeling of being deflated. Just had to get this off my chest. -
By Cynthia Slowan · Posted
Good Morning!! I hope everyone has a nice day. I love rain but am happy to see the sun trying to peep through this morning in North Carolina. I have been in the foothills for about a week visiting friends and family and will be heading home to the coast in a few hours. I have to pack my car before I can enjoy my morning ☕️ then hope to have a pleasant five hour drive. 💗Cynthia -
By Betty K · Posted
I remember this well. I used to spend two hours getting ready every time I went out! But yes, going full-time put paid to that. I still like to look good, and I totally agree about standing out vs blending in — plenty of cis women stand out and seem happy to do so, so why shouldn’t we? — but I also appreciate the comfort I feel in relatively more casual (but still feminine) clothes these days. As to the fetish thing, ugh, you did well to put aside that concern. Billie Eilish just told Rolling Stone that she masturbates to her own reflection in a mirror; if that isn’t “love of oneself as a woman” I don’t know what is. -
By Kait · Posted
This post made me chuckle, because I wrote my first (intro) post here about two days ago and used the exact same phrase. My answer would be yes. I do. There's a wide variety of thoughts going on in my brain, so I've always got something to entertain me, and if I want to, there's always the ability to pick a thought and really drill down to the deepest implications of it. For example recently I've been thinking about 'the philosophy of mind' and really trying to dissect what it is to be a 'mind'. It's complicated and muddy, but I feel I'm actually making progress towards a fully definable position, free of obvious self-contradictions. It would be cool if I can accomplish that and maybe someday even publish works on it. What about you? Is your inner life one you would describe as 'rich'? -
By Mirrabooka · Posted
@Birdie I'm glad things are looking up. I've lost 5kg this year! Not a huge amount, but encouraging. I accidentally skipped a shave this morning for the first time in months and I'm definitely not used to how it feels! It's like my face is covered in velcro hooks! -
By Mirrabooka · Posted
In 1979, when the Skylab space station was crashing back to earth, some debris was strewn across outback Australia. The mayor of a nearby town fined NASA $400 for littering! -
By Heather Shay · Posted
First heard this, thjs morning, impressed.... Colossem with Gary Moore - WOW. and then just GARY MOORE (played with Thin Lizzy and - lead on one awesome song of Travelin' Wilburys) -
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By Heather Shay · Posted
At its core, emotional pain is an intense feeling of distress, anguish, or suffering that stems from non-physical sources. Unlike the ache from a stubbed toe or a headache, this type of pain originates from events or circumstances that hurt us deeply on the inside. -
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