I'm not on psych meds anymore because none of them have worked for me (I tried 27 meds plus ketamine infusions), I'm about to start an intensive outpatient program, but that front seems pointless as well. I've had depression/anxiety for 10yrs and nothing has helped. I have done therapy for 9yrs. I'm a non-responder to medications in general it seems, not just HRT.

Hi, DreamWalker.   I notice that this is your first post on Transgender Pulse.  Welcome!  Please stop by our Introductions forum to tell us about yourself.   Regards, Kathy

My question is are you getting ongoing treatment for the BP condition and are those meds being monitored??  Mood is a very important part of gender health which does have negative effects on some people, and can in fact keep them from recognizing significant advances in their journeys.  

Thank you so much for sharing this. So so much. 🙏🙏

The beautiful honeymoon state of a relationship is amazing. I haven't been able to think of anything else. Someone who is finally perfect for me. I'm so glad it finally happened to me. It took 10.5 months to finally find true love. Someone who didn't get scared of my disabilities, mental issues, and understands exactly what I'm going through because her and I are processing things together. I never felt this way about any of my exs and ex wives. It's euphoria levels like I've never experienced before. I hope this never ends. I hope my borderline personality disorder isn't the reason for my euphoria. Ahhh MI AMOR (my love). 

So after asking my doctor to test my E levels (which they forgot last time I requested...) they finally did, but there's more to the story that I can't figure out. E levels are high, 52.2pg/mL.   Throughout my transition I have had very high T levels for no real reason. Right now they are so high that the blood test didn't even have a number for it, just that it was over 1500. My dose is 0.5mL 1x per week, Testosterone CYP 200mg/mL.   My Sex Horm Binding Glob is 73.0nmol/L, so high.    I tried to research on this to find what it could all mean, but in the context of trans patients there is very little I could find, nothing that explains my blood results.   tw below for SI I feel like my 6yr transition has been a waste. I don't even pass a lot of the time. And I wonder if it's because my body is just broken, another -expletive- you from life. I have been given pretty much every bad luck factor there is in life. I have schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type), GAD, gender dysphoria without a way to relieve it since HRT doesn't work well, I'm extremely poor from mental disability, I have chronic pain, I get in car wrecks frequently (never my fault, just bad luck), everything I do never goes right and is extremely difficult for no good reason. I see no real point anymore in continuing on. I'm too scared of death to end it though, I've tried before and it triggered an existential fear of death, of course. I mean what's even the point when I can't escape gender dysphoria like others can with HRT? I have top surgery, which helped that, but overall I still look female. The only thing I think has changed for the better is my voice and a little muscle mass. But it's not enough to pass and eliminate gender dysphoria. I just feel worse and worse knowing I will never live looking like myself, that there's just no point.

Happy now,put that used engine in that semi and it ran good.Yard even picked up the no good engine and the old engine as a core.Customer said there was a good core charge on the old engine he was getting back on.Was going to start on the next one,a clutch job.I am glad the parts manager including the service manager told me the replacement clutch is on 3 weeks backorder before I started to tear it apart.

I am signed up to volunteer at three events this month, including the big Twin Cities one. 

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Alisa.  Please feel free to look through the forum topics and post comments or questions wherever you like.  We will do our best to offer support if needed.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie

A dozen of us Trans Gals got together the other night for dinner and a movie. We went to see the new film, "I Saw the TV Glow" and all of us were very impressed and want to see it again. The film takes place in the 90s and many of our group came of age in that decade and could really relate to the ambiance that the move presented, and remembered being fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I think all of us were nearly overcome with how the film captured and conveyed the feeling of gender dysphoria and transition.    Here's a little excerpt from an interview (https://aframe.oscars.org/news/post/jane-schoenbrun-i-saw-the-tv-glow-interview?amp) with the trans filmmaker Jane Schoenbrun:   I think that there are languages that have been built and that are being built that I'm hopeful are going to continue to be articulated as uniquely trans. A lot of those languages are not the classical languages of trans cinema — or "trans cinema," which again was made mostly by cis people. The classic idea of being sad and longingly gazing into a mirror and being like, "I've known from birth that I was supposed to be a girl, even though I have a penis," these are narratives that were created by Hollywood, and created by men in Hollywood. And a lot of trans people adopt these narratives when they're trying to get their meds, but it's such an oversimplification for most of us. What transness and especially a pre-transition dysphoria actually feels like, to me at least, is much more internal and intangible. The language that I use to try to talk about it is language that I'm borrowing from the surrealism of David Lynch — the dreamlike nature of his films — or the body horror of David Cronenberg.   Here's a link to the trailer:     -Timi  

Well, a raging left-hander here!! lol

Lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Just your run of the mill right hander myself.

Wear a pink dress at the center and watch their heads explode lol.

A starting of a friendship,her name is Rachael.She saw I would understand her.Said she knew for a long time that she was trans and came out in September of 2023 finally

Boston Pride march and celebration is tomorrow. I'll be there. —Davie

I'm ambidextros and not bisexual—takes all kinds. 

Stonewall. "Two often-forgotten people who made an impact that night were transgender women of color: Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera." The Stonewall 'fight back,' became "the modern LGBT movement, including the tradition of LGBT Pride marches."  Happy Pride! 

Hmm, let's see what stupid things I can dream up this morning. 🤔

I'm going to one in the next town this evening. On the weekend I plan to drive to Detroit for the Motor City Pride events.