Going to a guy's place,he has an used Mac tool cart for sale.Will be for my home shop.He is a retired mechanic and bought it new 3 years ago.Called him last and said to come over to check it out.Seen he took care of it and he is putting it on hold for me

Wow....ya'll are really giving me a lot of encouragement and a lot to think about. thank you so much.

Welcome Andi! Glad you're here. We share similarities in our life's journey. I hope you find the wonderful advice support acceptance here as I have.

Welcome Kayla Rose! Glad you're here. Some wonderful advice given to me when I arrived here questioning was to find a gender therapist. Passing it on. I hope you find the wonderful advice support acceptance here as I have.   Hugs Delcina 

I guess most of us were terrified to go out for the first time dressed. It is such a BIG thing for us, we often mistakenly think it is a big thing for others, so we are supercritical about our looks. My confidence that I would never pass was a major part of my delay in transitioning, and initially, I planned just to do minimal hormones and hide any changes.   But I came out to my work colleagues, and they enthusiastically accepted me. A month later they arranged my first day out dressed (they put me under a lot of pressure!) I would have preferred just to visit one of them for 15 minutes, and retreat to my sanctuary (home), but they had other ideas. They came to my house (all 6 of them) and picked me up, drove me to a train station for a 60 minute ride to the centre of our city, then a 3 block walk to a seminar on transitioning at work. It was a busy day, and the train and city was packed. After the seminar, we were booked at a large, and very busy restaurant for lunch, and of course, I then had to confront using the restroom! On the way home, I reflected that at first, I was terrified, but there was no reaction from the hundreds of people who must have seen me, and I realised they just didn't care how I looked! It all felt so normal, and for the first time in my life, I thought I could actually do this!    Due to a promise I made my wife, I didn't go out dressed for another 2 months. That time was a trip to the supermarket, and the public apathy was the same, if anybody noticed, they didn't let on! My lifetime fear was in my head! I have been full time since, and there have been many times I have been misgendered, and, like you, I hate confusing people, but I am over letting that upset me, and I have a life.   Hugs,   Allie

Kay and Petra, Thank you as well for the suggestions. I think what i will do is get 1 of each brand and decide which i like best. Thanks again.

I used to love Wolfords, well I still do, I just don’t like the price they’ve risen to now.   my current go to tights for the cooler weather are Lores 100 denier tights from Amazon which are really lovely and very comfortable, the price is reasonable too.

Do you feel you are making progress in becoming YOU?

Appearance last night, gig this morning.

I guess my strongest defence is that I simply don't subscribe to any descriptors, I am me and I don't fit boxes others have! Even on this forum I list myself as Female to make it easier for others to relate to me, but it isn't how I think of myself. If someone wrongly categorises me, it's their mistake, not a fault of mine. We all have different needs to help control our dysphoria, based on our triggers. It took me 65 years, but I was able to identify my strongest triggers and eliminate or reduce them.    I have scuba dived for 50 years, and I still use the dive gear I had pre transition, so I know, in my wetsuit, I look the same as I did pre transition. So when I am diving with friends I have known for decades, they mostly deadname and misgender me. I can't get upset about this as they are seeing the same person they have known for many years, and I can see why they would revert to my old identity.    I wish I could have made the changes I needed and nobody got confused about me, but it wasn't to be, and I just can't force everyone to accept me as I like, so I made an effort to just accept what happens. I helps me avoid frustration and depression, and I have a comfortable, if far from perfect, life.  I hope you can get some way there!   Hugs,   Allie

Here is an exercise called Emotional Yo-yo: Start a simple scene: like two people involved in an everyday activity. Don’t prethink it too much. Just start talking.* One player should choose to react strongly to something from the other player. Once someone reacts in this way, they are the yo-yo and the other player is the hand. If you are the hand, you should play with the yo-yo. Your job is to do and say things that either provoke the yo-yo or placate the yo-yo. If you are the yo-yo, your job is to be affected. Every reaction doesn’t have to be absurdly strong, but often it is. Sometimes the hand will push you away, sometimes the hand will pull you back, sometimes the hand will spin you around. You should be flexible and let yourself be moved.

Welcome so glad you are here.

Just started brewing my coffee and I'll drink it out of my "saggy baggy boob club" cup. Complete with the DD owl.

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Andi.  It's nice to meet you.  What you experienced is similar to what many here went through in their early years, so you are among friends who understand you and will empathize.  I also had a family for years before coming out to them, and greatly feared losing them.  But it worked out for me and we're doing fine.  I hope the same happens to you.   Please post in any of the forums and topics that interest you.  This is a safe place, and I think you'll like it here.  Let us know how we can help and support you.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie

Yeah, context is the key to the answer to your question, @BellaDon.  In my first year after coming out at work there was a colleague who just couldn't get it right, and misgendered (actually called me by my dead name) all the time.  But he always apologized and I could tell he was sincere and embarrassed by his mistakes.  So I never got mad at him.   But VickySGV is right; if it's done deliberately to provoke or demean, then I think it's a form of emotional violence and needs to be called out.   Carolyn Marie

This is one of those places where a victim of misgendering can have the final word as to how it felt to them, and some do feel that way.  It may be only emotional violence, depending how or why it was done to one.  Little screw-ups and then apologies when they happen to me are annoying but not violent.  On the other hand there are those who do it deliberately with the idea of hurting me in the moment which would be violence, it is that way when it it done to egg on a group who want to do physical violence and get them to act.