No better words to see written here... blessings to you!

Mostly, I've been in the same boat. Work called me Mike, that's over now. I still have some friends out there that I haven't socialized my chosen name and they do the same. That said, last night I went to a small party at a friend's house fully in myself and when asked if I go by a new name I said yes and gave it to them. No one batted an eye and referred to me as such the whole time. It was such a lovely evening being me.

I have two kiddos, both AFAB. My eldest has since come out as trans. When he had come out to us the first time, it was years ago via a letter he'd written and left out conspicuously. We probably didn't do the best, but I kept an open mind and told him to be who they are and do so without putting himself in a box. He'd not expressed any masculine tendencies, from dress to desires, then or after so we thought it may have been a "friend group thing" until much later.   It was harder to reconcile when I operated as a cis father, I didn't know anything and I didn't have the language or comprehension to understand what being trans or a parent of a trans kid even meant. Our gender journeys weren't exactly timed the same, but over the last year we've both come out officially in one way or another. I'd been coming to terms with me over the past few years quietly and over the past year it's been an explosion of learning, so I no longer struggle with the concept--even though my mouth will engage without the brain sometimes, misgendering/naming him. So, I still slip and I'm in the same boat as him! It's amazing how much we let the subprocesses in our brains get us through life and how often it causes grief.   As for @missyjo, keep going! Every day is a new one and another they come around. If not, it's day you get to be you and learn how to live the life you want and need to.

Hmmm.... maybe send her this one?      At least from what I've seen, it seems like the majority of women are somewhat "flexible" when it comes to relationships and sex, so "I'm not a lesbian" could be a convenient excuse rather than the whole truth. 

The sharing of the offerings as actual food and sustenance for the immediate family and for all of the others impresses me and I feel admiration for the custom involved here.  To me the 2/3's for others concept shows a side of Islamic beliefs that we do not hear about often enough. 

Well so much to catch up on. I have met the woman I love a lot! We met at trans women that love transwomen n. We have been talking for almost 2 weeks and things have moved fast but I'm not scared. Last night we had a conversation on when she would be able to move in. We will be living together in September of this year. I just need to save up to start the official divorce process. The time has finally come to when I can apply. My girlfriend's name is Camilia. We have at times have talked three times a day. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with her. We have hit off amazing. We have already been planning our life together. She is going to help me with the surgeries that I will get. I think about her all the time. She has accepted me for me and I have told her everything. Maybe she'll join us on the forum Well I'm not telling all the details but I wanted to talk about her.

Congrats! I know you feel amazing. I have just gotten used to being deadnamed. 

world sit tea zen   coffee doesn't grow on trees, but bananas do

I hope it was a great time!   :HUGS:     It ended with a small non-holiday get together and started with me reffing and getting wicked tan lines. In between we were working toward our move and met with a realtor. It was a busy as heck Sunday. 

I know how much this hurts, missyjo ... and I am walking a similar tight-rope right now with my family (still keeping much a secret - how I dress, the fact I have started HRT) ... I am sitting here typing this on my back deck in a black skort, knowing that once my dad gets up and gets moving for the day, I'll trade out the skort for a pair of shorts (sigh ... This skort feels so comfortable and affirming!)   I am trying to look at things through their eyes, and trying to find as much positive as I can. Sometimes it is hard to find the positive, of course.   But this is a big shock to the system, even for well-grounded folks. Especially marriages. Our wives married who they thought were men. And now we are disclosing that there are deep feminine aspects about us. That is a big deal. Add the religious piece, and they likely feel a lot of shame. And the scorn of others, that maybe they failed in their roles...   And there is a sense, that while we are discovering and uncovering wonderful things about ourselves (many times things we didn't even know were there until, like, today!), folks around us are feeling betrayed. They feel we are purposefully misleading them and double-crossing them, maybe even taking delight in hurting them (though that is the last thing we are trying to do)...   With my wife, I misled her for a long time about a porn addiction I had. So to now tell her about this part of me, which I had never disclosed, feels like another betrayal in her eyes. This one seems to be the last straw for her (we have been separated for a year plus and she barely acknowledged me yesterday on Father's Day, which hurt a lot)...    As for parents, I imagine there is a sense of loss when we announce our transitions. For decades, they have taken pride in having a son or daughter. Now, we are switching things up on them. It likely feels like death to them (I am trying to see through their eyes -- maybe they picked out a special name, poured themselves into making us the best son/daughter we could be, and now we are rejecting that -- and, in their eyes, rejecting them! No wonder some have a hard time even facing us).   I have two daughters. I treasure that they are girls/women. If they were to transition to men, it would be tough, even for me, to be frank. Though for some reason I think it is easier if the transition was FTM than MTF. Society seems to value men more. Of course, I am delighted to be my daughters' dads. I am not their mom or sister or auntie. And no matter how things turn out for me, I am still their dad (who wears a black skort and loves it). So this is really weird on my end, lol...    All to say: Patience is required for all involved. Us with ourselves. Us with others. And by God's grace, others with us...If we can continue to love throughout the process and be lovable people towards others, never wavering in our commitment despite the negative/hurtful responses around us, time will heal many wounds. Probably not all. But hopefully many... 

There is a lot of stuff we learn to live with.  It's just our environment.

Good morning everyone,    I had a lot of catching up to do here today. I’ve been away from social media for nearly a week camping at a Bluegrass Festival at Bill Monroe Campgrounds in Beanblossom, IN. Father’s Day gift from my son was that he and my grandson broke camp and readied the camper for departure. My daughter shipped me a tablet or phone holder and a supply of French Lavender Sachets for my drawers and bathroom. She is my biggest supporter and understands my situation in transition.    Hugs for y’all  Monday after vacation sucks.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    

delcina..thank you. i keep naively thinking the road to tolerance n acceptance goes by way of sharing experiences together n realizing the gender issues become smalle4 n smalle4 each time..but that doesn't work if they don't wish to see us. shrugs. oh well..it happens I guess. thank you   .indy..good for you. thank you. I'm trying to learn that.    hugs to all 5hat want them

I’m so sorry for your rejection experience with your family. I’ve been away from social media taking care of life and the busy activities that come with summer.    Your post is the first thing I read and it reminds me of the rejection that my sister has for her own daughter and myself in the name of God. Just because we identify as part of the LGBTQ community.    Hugs, and know that you will always be loved us here. As said before; Found family can be more loving than blood family.    Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

I got a text from one kid, a lunch and visit from the other kid, and the old "I'm not a lesbian so maybe we should divorce" speech from my legal spouse. So a mixed day for me. 

A detriment to growing your hair out is that it has a mind of its own. The crooked ones stick out, or the stray ones just won't behave, or the split ends take over, or the fluffy extremities explode. My hair is thick but fine and it resembles cotton candy at times.   A hack that my hairdresser told me to control frizz was to smear a bit of moisturizer on or through it. It does work, but it is not ideal. I have also experimented with different conditioners and have found one that leaves my hair feeling better, but my hair still lacks body and is still prone to some unruliness.    I bought some hair oil today, tried it, and hey presto! Two squirts of it into my palms and rub it through my hair, and OMG the difference is amazing! Every strand seems to settle down, hair stays as just combed or brushed, and it also smells absolutely beautiful.    My hair is my best asset. It took me too long to discover this, but yes! Yes!! YES!!!

Gradually moving towards the next step.

Speaking of Father's Day, I never realized until today that it is commemorated on different dates depending on where you are in the world! Here, it is the first Sunday in September! But our Mother's Day is the same as the rest of the world! I have no idea why there is inconsistency.

We have been farming small ruminants ie goats and now sheep for over 15 years now.  Our biggest market has been the Muslim community. Todays holiday brings families together and our farm will be part of a friend's celebration.      4 yearling sheep will be sacrificed and dressed at the farm.  1/3 of the meat will go to the poor, 1/3 to extended family and friends and then rest for the families feast.  Our friend is a professional butcher who loves the way we raise and care for our flock.       As a vegetarian i'm simply glad to see our animals to be handled with so much care and compassion.  As a trans woman i'm glad to find acceptance by Imams and the muslim community.     If you don't know about it here is an explanation of the Eid:   Islamic religious festival Eid al-Adha, also called the "Festival of the Sacrifice", is the second of two Islamic holidays celebrated worldwide each year (the other being Eid al-Fitr), and considered the holier of the two. It honors the willingness of Ibrahim (Abraham) to sacrifice his son as an act of obedience to God's command. wikipedia.org    Hugs,   Charlize