Thank all of you for your kind words! It is a good question why people missgender me. Even my partner wonders. Also I value your honest words. It's good to read that it's a marathon since I obviously wish for a quicker change. It's not only misgerndering but also physical dysphoria that i hope HRT will help me with. Since years I now use medical breast prothesis, at times I even sleep with my boobs. I can't do that a lot since it leads to quite bad bruises (had that a couple of times). So I hope to be lucky and grow somewhat decent breasts, by that i mean european B which is American A cup size. The Doctor I go to was recommended to my and has a good reputation. I'll keep you updated Michi

The Washington Post has a paywall so I normally bypass their stories.  But this editorial is important for us to read.  It takes a reasonable and (IMO) fair approach to the HHS study of the current literature.  I know this will engender fierce debate, but I would caution against knee jerk reactions.  I don't think we, as a community, gain much by saying that anything that isn't completely supportive of current trans youth medical practices is nonsense or hateful discrimination.  That is especially important if, as this editorial points out, the WPATH has interfered with or blocked the publication of some studies that had results it didn't like.  Anyway, here is the full editorial.   Good Questions About Transgender Care President Donald Trump never chooses careful, neutral language when he can bring out his flamethrower. In January, when his administration issued an executive order on pediatric medical gender transition, it was titled “Protecting Children from Chemical and Surgical Mutilation.” The text proceeded in the same vein: Rather than say doctors have been performing interventions for which the evidence of effectiveness is inadequate, he said they are “maiming and sterilizing a growing number of impressionable children” based on “Junk Science.” This hyperbole is not helpful to anyone, especially not young people and their families. What’s needed instead is better evidence and reasoned discussion about the trade-offs involved in intervening with the biological process of puberty in children who experience gender dysphoria. The good news is that the executive order provided some of what is too often missing in the debate over transgender medical care for children. It directed the secretary of health and human services to publish a review of the existing literature on best practices within 90 days, and this review is now out. Clocking in at more than 400 pages, including appendixes, the HHS report is a careful, thorough and definitely skeptical tour through the subject, including the history of gender medicine, the evolution of pediatric interventions, the evidence for pediatric medical transition, and the ethical conundrums that researchers and practitioners face. Critics have been scathing about what they see as the report’s bias and shortcomings. But it makes a legitimate case for caution that policymakers need to wrestle with. The HHS document concurs with other systematic reviews, including Britain’s Cass Review report, that the existing research is inadequate to validate medical interventions for gender dysphoric youth. In studying the use of hormones, puberty blockers and surgery, researchers should have started with small, randomized, controlled trials and, if those were successful, gradually expanded the patient population through more such trials to establish effectiveness and refine best practices. Instead, encouraging results from small trials that were neither randomized nor controlled helped fuel a growing number of interventions at clinics around the world, where practice may vary significantly from the studied protocol. Subsequent research has been marred by various methodological flaws, including inadequate study of how patients fare years or decades after they begin treatment. Variations in practice among pediatric gender clinics and shifting patient populations limit the usefulness of what research exists. More concerning is the possibility that some researchers have not published all their results — including findings that turn out not to support their hypotheses. Discovery documents in a lawsuit over Alabama’s restrictions on pediatric medical transition suggest that the World Professional Association for Transgender Health interfered with systematic reviews it commissioned from a research team at Johns Hopkins University. According to the HHS report, “WPATH’s policy appears to have effectively blocked the planned and completed research — including critical evidence appraisals — from being developed into publishable manuscripts.” And in October, Johanna Olson-Kennedy, director of the gender clinic at the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles, told the New York Times that she had delayed publishing the results of an NIH-funded study she conducted in part because she feared that its results would be “weaponized.” The HHS report lays out these concerns in clear and careful language, and describes the ethical quandaries involved in intervening in the sexual development of minors, who might not be mature enough to give fully informed consent. Critics who dispute the report’s conclusion raise valid concerns about its process. The 90 days allotted to produce such a report is a remarkably short time. To be sure, the authors drew on earlier reviews that came to similar conclusions about the strength of the evidence. But they also declined to publish their names, and their anonymity stands to weaken their credibility with the public. Presumably, one reason they kept their names secret was because the underlying issue is so heated and polarized: A fierce activist backlash awaits anyone who calls for greater emphasis on psychotherapy in treating gender dysphoric youth. (Critics deride this approach as “conversion therapy.”) What is clear is that, with many gender transition procedures ongoing and fierce debate over their effectiveness, better research is needed, and the government should be called on to support this work. Better research means randomized and controlled studies that compare the effectiveness of the medical path with that of the best alternative psychotherapies. Today’s clinicians should be involved in this effort — after all, they have gained a wealth of clinical knowledge and have demonstrated their strong interest in helping children with gender dysphoria — but the research should be overseen by people who have no personal stake in the findings. In return for funding the work, the government should demand specific outcome measures in advance and prompt publication of data. Given the weakness of the evidence that has been gathered to date, no one can predict what rigorous research will show. It is already obvious, however, that children dealing with gender dysphoria deserve better information and less disagreement over the path forward.

saxeT does it again!! 

There has to be something popular in his policies, but it feels pretty bad when it is the least important issue he could be addressing and creating favor with.  Means all his other actions have nowhere near any meaningful approval I would guess.

https://www.texastribune.org/2025/05/10/texas-house-trans-bills-advance/     Carolyn Marie

https://wjla.com/news/local/transgender-issues-are-a-strength-for-trump-ap-norc-poll-finds-lgbtq-president-trump-transgender-children-gender-identitiy-affirming-care-young-people-catholic-republicans-democrats-sex-at-birth-white-house?photo=1   It figures.      Carolyn Marie

I’m in the U.K. very late 60’s and have known I was different my whole life. Early on, early teens time, it was against the law for any bi or gay interaction between men. According to Queen Victoria women could not make love to other women so that was never made illegal.  All men who wanted to be with other men was all done behind closed doors. Interaction was always hidden the same with crossdressing and being born the wrong gender. In the early 70’s it was still against the law for men to be with other men if they so want. Crossdressing was called being a transvestite and those who indulged in dressing normally hid behind closed doors or met other men at their homes. This if found out was against the law or you could end up by being beat up.  Men would marry some to use women as a beard to hide behind. Or like a lot of men who crossdress are bisexual not all but there are quite a few. I know from experience how these gurls feel. I love my wife there was never has been any doubt that I love her. But sometimes a different physical connection is needed. It is difficult and I know I am not alone in having bi feelings or even acting on them. When dressed my demeanour changes and I want made love to and connect with either men or other crossdresser’s.  You are not alone feeling like this and wanting these interactions with people.  Dressing for me comes first I would either get fully dressed in women’s clothing and using props I.e. breast forms wigs. My wife knows I dress and probably knows I’m bi. It is not spoken about but she has mentioned maybe I need some counselling to get everything out how I feel. I am at the stage that I do not know how far I am along the transgender scale. But I do know I love my wife more than anything I know. 

I cant give a reasonable comment on entering the country and those details, as they are likely to change about as often as the orange man changes his diaper.   there is one thing to be very sure of, make sure you fully understand how long you are allowed to be in the USA for and dont overstay that, because it will make it exponentially more challenging to re enter the country or to move here on a longer term work or other visa. And be cautious if you are a digital nomad worker and that you dont “work” in the USA with out the right visas even if it is doing work outside the country. Just make sure your t’s are crossed and your I’s dotted. Especially if you think there might be long term possibilities with this partner.

@Willow Quinceañera is actually 15.  Its a Hispanic tradition, marking a girl's transition to being a young woman and eligible for courtship.  In some nations, its a really huge party occasion.  My stepdaughter is overly-eager by a couple of years 🙄  She's pretty serious, overall, and I wish she could just relax and enjoy being a kid while she still can.     Our community isn't exactly closed... marriage brings new people into the faith.  But dating is expected to be serious and intentional, with permission from both families.  Some families even do arranged marriage. I guess I was similar,  even on my own.  I didn't date until my 20s because I was scared, and I really didn't want the pain of a failed relationship.  GF was my first relationship, and I told her that I wouldn't move in with her or anything until I was sure she would keep me for life. My partners are stuck with me 😄     What kind of church business meetings take all day?  Money issues, maybe? Seems pretty intense!  

thanks Vicky nice to meet you

@Shira This is your first post, when you have 5 posts you can use our PM feature to try and contact the other members, although I have not seen them active in quite a long time.  Before then, please read our rules on Personal Messaging carefully. 

Chanie Elishava or Nechama or Davey, I am an orthodox Jewish man Can we be in touch 

That 1st Boston album is such a great production 

Welcome Aydhindril.  I spent years of my life trying to man up and disregard my feelings about my female identity.  As you have described i was virtually alone in my journey.  Finding this space made a big difference. You are not alone!   Hugs,   Charlize

Hello and welcome @Aydhindril!

Some happy news.  Kentville (pop. 7000), which features prominently in the story, is my nearest town.   N.S. Health works to expand access to youth gender-affirming care Andrew Lam · CBC News · Posted: May 12, 2025   Nova Scotia Health is working to expand access to youth gender-affirming care in the province by replicating a clinic model introduced in the Annapolis Valley last year. In February 2024, a youth clinic dedicated to providing this kind of health care opened in Kentville. Then another opened this March in Bridgewater, with more clinics in the works. "Accessing gender-affirming care isn't just a city thing or an urban thing," said mental health clinician Julien Davis, who is also trans.     

Thank you for your kind message and advise @Heather Shay I've been followed by a therapist since September for my depression and of course the gender question and how I see myself have been discussed quite often. I've been able to make good progress and feel more secure in being myself but it's true that I don't really know where I'm going. I guess I first need to "destroy" my past self which was (is) trying to cope as a "normal" man.   Now, I'm reaching a point where I feel like connecting with people who can relate to my journey would be beneficial. 

I heard that guitar sound in 1976 and immediately learned the rhythm guitar part and vocals for a pick up band that I joined when I moved to Cleveland from Toledo for a new job. I found out the guitarist who invented the guitar sound, wrote and recorded the album in his basement was named Tom Scholz and he was from a rich suburd ob Toledo called Ottawa Hills. I knew the area. I saw the band in Cleveland and was blown away with the group and my Toledo man. Tom had been a MIT grad, worked at Polaroid and in his spare time tinkered with guitar effects and his local Boston area bands, my favorite named Mother's Milk. Even when Boston went huge, Tom found not working an 8-5 job not to his liking so he started Scholz Electronics to build the sound device for guitar he called a Rockman.  His fanatic obsession with purety and analog sound kept him buried in his own studio, taking years to be satisfied with each recording he released. My tribute today is to my home town boy - Tom Scholz,  

Can you get used to limbo?