Hi Remember its a marathon not a sprint - nothing will happen quickly (at least with the hormones etc.) Make sure you find a good therapist to talk to. Just being able to talk with someone who doesn't judge can be extremely helpful. There will also be difficult times ahead - finding supportive people (like this forum but also in person) such as local support groups can also be very helpful. At times the world can seem very dark and it can be hard to imagine better times - but they can always be there and you need to be true to yourself. Good luck with everything - We are here for you

I am not sure (I'm guessing, actually), but it would seem that a deaf person who has been trained to speak might be able to think to themselves in a voice.  But I have read that it is more likely that a deaf person would think to themselves in sign language, see images, or see gestures, such as the signs that deaf people sign to each other.   Carolyn Marie

I've just my first binder and did exactly the same thing. Congratulations 

It's a thought-provoking question. It's interesting to note that not all hearing people experience an inner voice or inner dialogue when thinking. Being a person who does experience inner dialogue, I found that surprising when I learned it. But isn't that always the case when we learn about an experience that seems strange or foreign to us. That is why I like your question - it implies open-mindedness, imagination, and curiosity, whereas so many of us in the trans community experience flat out denial (or worse) by people who don't understand an experience different from their own. But I digress.    Being a hearing person, you label the experience of an inner voice or inner dialogue as "hearing". But it's not hearing per se because what you're experiencing is not something external which is detected by the senses. You label it hearing because it has a similarity to the actual experience of hearing which is detecting the sound of a voice. With an inner voice, there's no actual sound. There is mentation, reflection, intellectualization. And it could be that the mental process draws upon the memory of having heard the sounds of words and reproduces a mental simulacrum to aid in the thinking process because it is what is normal to a hearing person.    A lifelong non-hearing person also has mental and intellectual faculties. They also reflect, assimilate information, organize and analyze it, and determine plans based on that information, and then attempt to execute their plans. So, perhaps for lifelong non-hearing people who do experience some sort of inner dialogue, it is experienced in a similar way which reflects their experience of assimilating information. Of course, only a lifelong non-hearing person would be able to provide insight on this. But on the other hand, they would not be able to reference a basis of comparison to the experience of hearing.   Many years ago, I was into reading about the experience of deafness. One book which I found fascinating was "Seeing Voices" by Oliver Sacks (all of Oliver Sacks' books are fascinating). I learned that there is an entire deaf culture. Which completely makes sense when you think about it - they are a people with a common non-normative experience of the world. Really great read if you want to learn more about the deaf experience.

this (strange) thought passed through my mind today. I hope no one takes offense to this question. I do not mean for it to.  my apologies in advance if it does. for me, when i'm reading something (or thinking) to myself, in my mind, i hear my own voice. i got to wondering, for a person that has been deaf since birth, what do they "hear" when reading or thinking to themselves? my apologies if this is really a stupid question. i tend to ask them a lot it seems.

I'm sorry to read that you've experienced some difficult times lately.  HRT (which you call FHT) is an important step, and one that should help in the long run.  But I am curious about the reason(s) for being misgendered?  Is it only because of facial hair, or something else?   While HRT has many benefits, it alone won't solve all your problems.  It does little or nothing for reducing facial hair, and even for body hair can take months, if not years, for significant results.  Breasts can take 2-4 years to fully develop.  I'm not trying to dissuade you or disappoint you, but you should be realistic with your expectations.   I wish you success!   Carolyn Marie

The bass is very tricky to learn in the beginning. Keep with it because it only gets easier. As far as one of your short stories you can always message one to my account and I’ll be able to read it there. That’s up to you if you are comfortable doing that.    Peace, Hugs and Happiness, Silo

Mostly I just journal right now so not really stuff I'd be posting, but I used to love writing short stories (and fanfiction lol) so maybe some day I'll share a story here if there's somewhere appropriate to put it!   I started learning bass last year but I'm finding it tricky - I love music but my dyscalculic brain isn't very suited to making it haha.

"Before I came out, I was a 36-year-old white man, married, three kids, two cars, a dog, a house, and I didn’t think racism existed. I didn’t think sexism existed. I didn’t see any of them because I never experienced them. And when I got put into one of the most despised groups in the country right now or vilified groups, the transgender community, I’m hearing this bigotry and this transphobia, and it really opened my eyes that maybe I didn’t have it all right, and just because I hadn’t seen or experienced it myself, maybe I was wrong. I learned so much that I had never seen or been willing to see. I’m able to connect with my people in a way that I’ve never been able to. And that is true leadership."   This is not quite my experience, but I can relate on many levels. The frank honesty of her words is so powerful and inspiring to me. 

Awesome @Sora-Solar!

I feel you @Termistery. I also have mobility issues & often need help getting into and out of such garments. But my issues have led me to learn that compression garments (e.g.  compression socks) are made for all parts of the body, including compression shirts. I just searched "zip up compression vest" on Amazon & found this, for example. It is hook & eye, so that may not work if you have issues with your hands. Reviews vary, mostly about sizing. https://amzn.eu/d/h18gBUY   There are orthotic clothing companies that make compression shirts with zip up front, but they are expensive. (I have one - waited for black friday sale to get it).    Something else to consider. You might could try getting an inexpensive binder and having a tailor install a zipper in front. Often such a service would not be expensive.   Cheers!

Hi, @Caiwen.  Like Allie, I think these reasons do relate to dysphoria.  They tell me that you are learning how to eliminate it.  I found many of the same things you describe to be liberating.   1. I found the prohibition on my male persona against wearing accessories to be confining and restrictive.  Being able to wear them and ornament myself is liberating and gives me joy.   2. I always liked colourful clothing but felt that I was not allowed to wear it.  Being able to wear it now makes me happy.   3. I always felt that, in my male persona, I was suspected of being a potential rapist.  That inhibited my relationships with women, both casual and romantic.  Being seen and treated as a woman has allowed me to relate to women as friends and colleagues.  I am married, so my romantic interests are confined, but I think I am better able to relate to my wife, too.   In all these cases, the sense of confinement was a manifestation of my dysphoria.  My dysphoria always took the form of feeling imprisoned or confined.  And, in all cases, my liberation from the confinement was the end of that dysphoria.   I hope that you continue to find happiness as your journey proceeds.

I believe that all those nice feelings and euphoria are affirmation of our gender. Negative feelings from affirming your birth sex are dysphoria. So the reasons you propose actually do relate to dysphoria. Gender Incongruence causes us dysphoria and anything we do to be congruent reduces dysphoria.    Hugs,   Allie

Hey there, <This text touches on suicidal thoughts. Please take care reading> so upcoming Wednesday I'll have my first appointment with a doctor to get my feminizing hormon therapy started. It took me long to make this step and by now I waited month for this appiontment. Facial laiser hair removal has been now ongoing since 9 month. The hair is getting less and less, but since the beginning i covered up my face everytime i go out. At this point I try not to leave my place if i can. This lead to my current situation that i realized the hair removal won't do the job alone. I can't stand being misgerndert all the time. My motivation to make the appointment in the fist place where scary suicidal thoughs. Since I made the appointment this got better. Knowing I can't be sure but for now I belive FHT will help me in a big way. Just wanted to share this and probably will share more of my journey.  

Hey Caiwen, for me it is euphoria. Since i started transitioning i had so many moments of gender euphoria and finally felt happy. Dysphoria on the other hand is there and is the reason why i am looking towards FHT and who knows what :D

maintaining a living limbo these days.

For a calmer day, focus on simple affirmations and mindful practices. Start by repeating phrases like "I am calm and centered" or "Peace is within me". Incorporate mindful breathing, like diaphramatic breathing, to ground yourself. Consider also, changing your focus by shifting your gaze or taking a short walk. 

For a calmer day, focus on simple affirmations and mindful practices. Start by repeating phrases like "I am calm and centered" or "Peace is within me". Incorporate mindful breathing, like diaphramatic breathing, to ground yourself. Consider also, changing your focus by shifting your gaze or taking a short walk. 

For a calmer day, focus on simple affirmations and mindful practices. Start by repeating phrases like "I am calm and centered" or "Peace is within me". Incorporate mindful breathing, like diaphramatic breathing, to ground yourself. Consider also, changing your focus by shifting your gaze or taking a short walk.