How is this young lady doing, @Heather Shay? 

The surgeon called today to tell us the biopsy of both the spleen and liver nodule showed hemangiosarcoma, an aggressive, incurable cancer of the blood vessels. Tomorrow our girl has her post-op appt with the surgeon and we'll meet with the oncologist too to learn more about what best to do. So far, I'm kind of in shock, have lost my appetite, and just trying to stay present and enjoy being with the girl. She's feeling good, energetic and bright. Pets don't define themselves by what's "wrong" with them like humans do. 

thank you   wise advice dear. thank you

You have no need to be sorry at all. And it is just normal to feel as you do...and healthy to get the emotions out.   I know that I can't tell you how to feel so I'll just offer some thought on how to think. They reacted immediately and without time to think through their feelings. Take some time before you act. You are hurt and deservedly so. But don't let that hurt lead you down a path that you might regret later.    

@KathyLauren to talk about possible tartans, my grandparents make me eligible to wear McDonald and Stewart.  However, Stewart alone is about 40 different tartans.  My grandfather wore the traditional red Stewart plaid.  But since Queen Elizabeth declared that the Stewart red plaid was no longer a patented plaid I chose a different version.  Clan Stewart has way more tartans than tap y other Clain.    

thank you darling   I'm sorry when others say they need borders from me n I need to respect their privacy, the same person I used to take to dinner weekly,..I get..pissy n resentful n you want borders you got them.  done don't call, write or stop over time for new estate plan meanness towards me doesn't always evoke the other cheek ..sometimes I get angry, hurt n defensive too. sorry   thanks friends really, I know you're trying..I am too..I'm just still..reeling n spinning..sorry so sorry

As we live our lives we change.  I don't know if never changing would even be possible.  In my case, we both have changed, and not in the same direction.  Sometimes it's very painful.   I think the only people that never change are dead.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I think it's something that many (most?) of us dread happening from a spouse or family. But, I agree with Carolyn Marie that you shouldn't give up hope. Just know that you have our thoughts, strength and love.

I totally relate to this ... i should add "hide from all of my family (parents, kids, siblings)...   Amen, amen ... these are ways I have hurt my wife as well ... I was very clear when I first opened up to her about this that I had no plans to transition in any way, that this was just about clothing ... well, now I am here in the early months of HRT (and still honestly not sure about end game). I'm sure it feels to her like dishonesty and betrayal on my part. But I really am discovering myself as I take each step, many times surprising myself by where I am ending up...   I pray for each of us on here, and our loved ones. That we could all find peace - with ourselves, with one another. And that love would win the day... Blessings to all who have shared their often-painful stories on here... 

thank you all   sorry I'm such a grump

carolyn Marie, thank you. i..I'm just..spinning..she doesn't want to speak to you, see you or be seen with you, and truthfully, either do I   screw them   sorry..I get spiteful when I feel attacked   sorry   thank you

Great advice from Carolyn Marie ... and I am so sorry you are having to go through this pain from family members... we're here, walking with you the best we can ... thanks for sharing ...   Easy

@missyjo, I'm very sorry you've experienced such rejection.    .  But please don't give up on your family.  Family members, especially parents, need time to absorb the news and go through their "stages of grief" for what they believe they've lost.  Sometimes they blame themselves, and think that nothing good can come of your decision.   Of course they're wrong, but it takes time to understand that and get over the shock.  You've had a lifetime to understand yourself and prepare for this decision; they have not.  Please give them time and space and keep the lines of communication open.  Provide information (there is tons of it on the Internet), offer empathy and understanding, and hopefully their rejection will soften.   Instant and complete acceptance of a loved one's transition is a rare and precious thing.  Not getting that is not the end of the story.  Don't give up on them, or yourself.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie

Talk about denying reality…

I was misgendered by a treating physician during my doctor's appointment, it happened in a clinic facility that is not affiliated with the lgbtqai+ community, I was alone in the room with the physician, and my cellphone was turned off (no witnesses) so it would have been his words verses mine about what happened. My appointment was supposed to be a neurological follow up, but instead the treating physician started asking me questions that was not related to his job training, making me feel uncomfortable.  

Well, no matter what the centre does the obvious still remains the same.  This morning a participant looks over at me and says, "hey, you got boobies!" I smiled and responded, "half the world population does!" Staff around us just listened in with their eyes bugged out. I'm sure the conversation will be reported to management. 🙄   update: Management was already informed and the social worker already came to talk to me about it.  She asked if I was okay after the comment and I said, "yes of course." She asked if I did anything to provoke the attention and I said "I did not, my breasts are going to be visible regardless." I am dressed per the "dress code" and my hair is up in a ponytail so she isn't sure what else I could do to prevent the attention, but they will have another management meeting. 🙄

Being 50% Scottish, I like tartans.  I thought I recognized it, since this was not the first time I have seen it, and so it was easy to check.   There are several tartans I could legitimately wear: a couple of family/clan tartans, the RCAF and Nova Scotia tartans.  But the main use for tartans is kilts, and kilts are male garments.  I suppose I could get a skirt made in one of them, or a scarf, or purse or something.  On the other hand, we dropped out of Scottish Country Dancing during covid and never got back into it, so where would I wear something tartan? 

Sounds like a good report.  Thanks for sharing.

Ah, is intimidation violence?

Hugs. thank you all so much.    we’ve made a little progress but not much.   She wants me to “get help”. It means two separate things for us though. I can’t go on like this anymore.    I can see now that no matter how this ends. She will be losing the “man” in her life. I know if I put myself back in the “box” I will be absolutely miserable and a terrible person to be around though. And do neither feel correct.    You cannot take care of others, if you do not take care of yourself.     I’m in the process of finding a doctor for the transition. I don’t plan on rushing it, rather, I want to take my time to let me be me and stop pretending. One thing for certain, I cannot live with these male parts anymore. I can’t keep waking up crying. No more.    if my family cuts me off. So be it. Ive been a lone wolf the entire time.    if by some chance they don’t….it would be wonderful. its a risk I’m willing to take.