Things are movin'!    

To what degree am I a binary woman and what does this mean in terms of surgery. 

I’ve just read most of this thread on a quiet day at work, and this quote from right at the start stuck with me. I agree, this is hard; it’s the hardest part of transitioning. It’s a paradox: the better I feel now, the more heartbroken I feel at the thought of how long it took me to get here.    Also the poem about grieving for your former self. Sometimes I feel that too, though generally I realise I am not grieving for someone who *was* but whom I always thought I might become. I kept waiting to grow into myself as that person, but it didn’t happen.    Oh, and I agree, that’s a very cute photo.

Congratulations!  I hope this one works out for you! I felt that way years ago, when GF caught me....or rather, a bit after that, because initially she was kinda scary.  But I figure if somebody like me can find love, anybody can.  So, here's to you!

What a great photo! Thanks for sharing! 

I do think hoping for rapid, dramatic physical changes from feminising hormones can be unrealistic. I’m 50, so I don’t know if really big physical changes are likely without surgeries. For me, the biggest changes have stemmed from the way I present in public and the way I feel on the inside, which is helped by my presentation in public. I have been on HRT for two years.

You look wonderful, Mae! I learned most of my make-up routine by watching YouTube videos and thru experimentation. Generally, less is the way to go, especially with foundation. I keep mine pretty simple.   Have fun with it! One of my looks I jokingly refer to as my raccoon look. 🤣

Thank you for sharing your story Kay and for sharing yourself with us. You are very courageous! Many blessings to you and your family as you take steps to being your more authentic self... 

I've always had a bit of a temper, and sometimes things will build until I punch a wall or pound my fist. It seems more acute now. I seem to go 0 to 100 more quickly, but also I am having a rough go it with life in general. A lot of stressors and frustrating things all around me, and feeling like my life is stuck with no end in sight.    Is the E contributing to my reactions or would I have reacting like this no matter what? I don't know.   I, too, have hoped for a "dynamic change to femininity" and that hasn't really materialized after a few months ... sometimes I feel I am chasing something I am not meant to have or that will always be beyond my reach...

It does,I had to do other jobs outside that did not require the hoist.I have a clutch job to do on next week Monday,Customer of this one is a hothead and has been told it will be finished Tuesday.Hurting my paycheck this week

I think it’s only realistic to be concerned about passing, and I do mean passing in the original sense of the word (ie, to the point at which strangers can’t tell we are trans), but mainly because of safety concerns. It’s funny, for years I didn’t dare go out in daylight dressed femme but would risk my life at night, because what I feared most was humiliation, not violent assault. Now I’m pretty much unafraid in daylight but wary at night, because what I fear most is assault. I find attempts to humiliate me are very few and happen almost exclusively at night anyway. During the day, either people react indifferently or else they are complimentary. Sure, sometimes folks side-eye me, but who knows what that means? It could be positive or negative. And yes, I get the very occasional “sir”, which does hurt, but i chalk that up to ignorance. I wrote my first complaint letter to a business recently when someone “sir”ed me, and I plan to keep writing such letters of it continues. As April and Sally suggest, with enough self-love I think we just stop caring so much what others may or may not think of us. 

You look gorgeous!

That really stinks!

Ashley is no longer available! I’m happily TAKEN! Finally after all heartbreaking I finally can say I’m in a relationship! She is wonderful to me! 

PS, having said that, I certainly will be referring to these organisations as designated hate groups going forward.

Thanks @Davie, I skim-read that this morning. We didn’t go deep into the politics this time around because my podcast partner was a little unprepared. There will be a Part II in a couple of weeks. Very glad to see the SPLC taking this stance but let’s face it, they have been calling out SEGM and Genspect for years. 

This is what took me so long to figure out April.  I had to learn to love myself, first.  When that happened though, "the world became my oyster."  

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story. We are each unique yet share many similarities, too. I'm sure you will find assistance, support and even friendship here. Jump in where you feel comfortable!!

Well, that's just awesome!

I think you are right, Sally, that we often set the bar way too high for ourselves. I've learned to be comfortable with how I look. Not beautiful, but happy and confident with my looks. I also don't assume that I've been clocked - more that people are checking out something I'm wearing.    When you begin to love yourself for ho you are, it turns a huge corner in your ability to be out in public and confident in how you look.