https://www.militarytimes.com/news/your-military/2025/05/08/up-to-1000-transgender-troops-being-separated-under-new-pentagon-memo/     Carolyn Marie

Great to hear your good news, Jake.  Congrats and enjoy both the binder and the haircut.  Sometimes "the clothes do make the man."   Carolyn Marie

Thank you, I really appreciate the help! For reference on the style I'm referring to, I'll attach a image of it lol. It's a collage, so you get a variety. To put it short though, it's personalized and childish. I specifically chose masculine ones, for obvious reasons lol. 

Ok, I tried to look up the "juminocore" thing and I couldn't get a firm grip on what style that is.  So what advice I have is gonna be pretty generic.  I'm in my mid 30s.  Originally female, but I've been living in boy form for a while now.  My body type is ridiculously slender, and I have no breasts or curves at all because I'm actually intersex.  I think that made things easier for me.    Baggy clothes are a classic, and were generally expected among teenagers of my generation.  Not sure what is fashionable for y'all these days, but I doubt it has changed much.  If you're looking to delete curvy-ness from your appearance, jackets are pretty good.  You can get jackets of varying styles, from dressy to military to practical winter stuff.  Jackets are mostly androgynous.  "BDU" jackets come in a bunch of colors and patterns, like this:   https://www.amazon.com/BACKBONE-Military-Battle-Uniform-Jacket/dp/B0D7797MY8/ref=sr_1_10?crid=2EHG8L4O6TGP9&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.A5ghysS8YVeLhRknLop7c2plZ7YhnEylkZmKp9P-6a4AAMc0Pl1Ji1KQU_kfVXSMtNKDfvQwjDdZFv7cwgfjIXgJ8wx4CGGfEjk_Q6HAY3RpKc0Fn7Ybr8ewjkW7Bp8uMloqgZ8N2HYblKlShlxhOukDmsDoiM-tTHZ1tq6YzMrNU8RPtCQa3UxDpHsT2-xbcknPMaTZZZqAI0MpCJiHNokNvF-paRVeg8Wnx1XzxD3Rmw_O1cvO6NrqDcYan5lJipevGxfPt7QxoC1iPaZ94KT15-YoAeULaQ8swdm6SuI.jR5qcKH-Eqj3X0N1y96Ui7O67o_g2Gq2tyX9qb2DD6M&dib_tag=se&keywords=bdu+jacket&qid=1746765994&sprefix=bdu+ja%2Caps%2C272&sr=8-10   T-shirts (especially loose, long ones) work pretty well.  Polo shirts or button-down shirts work, and there's plenty at thrift stores so you can buy 'em for 2 dollars and get rid of them if you don't like them later.  And shopping in the men's section, the fabric is of better quality.  More durable.  My GF, who is 100% girl, buys men's shirts and rips out the seams to re-tailor them for her curvy figure....entirely because of the better fabric.  Women's clothing tends to be thinner and crappier in general.  Darker colors tend to be slimming, and do well for deleting curves.  If you wear a shirt with stripes or a pattern, make sure the pattern is vertical instead of horizontal.    For jeans, just start shopping for Levis in the men's section.  They have better pockets anyways.  (IDK how girls put up with pockets barely big enough to put a set of car keys inside?)  But any pair of blue jeans that isn't hugging your butt so tight that they look spray-painted will do for a masculine outfit.  Add some worker-style or motorcycle boots in black or brown.  You can get those in the mens section of Walmart, or find them at a farm store like Tractor Supply.   So, some example outfits:    1. Blue jeans, with a black t-shirt and a hoodie 2. Jeans with a black t-shirt and a camo military jacket. 3. Black jeans with a white button-down shirt and a black leather jacket     I'm not very good with hairstyle advice, because it really varies depending on your facial structure.  But you can Google search example pictures, and there are even some sites that you can upload a picture and play with various styles to see how you'd look.  You can work toward something androgynously shorter (like the one in my avatar), or even do something radical like buzz cut on one side and fluffy on the other with colored tips.  Wacky hairstyles are kind of expected for teenagers, so you can go crazy without people assuming anything is changing

Dang, Ivy!  That's awful!  Hopefully you're doing better now.  If they've got you on new pills, make sure you take everything exactly according to instructions, and keep seeing your doctor.  A lot of those meds aren't very flexible about doses or scheduling. Hopefully the VA has a good doctor for you that is responsive, because you'll probably be needing appointments to get things adjusted.      A key organizer for the wall is pretty easy to make.  Get a wood plaque from the hardware store and some little brass hooks, or even buy something similar on Ebay or Amazon and just hang it on the wall.    You can probably get a carabiner to hook keys to your purse strap, or if your purse has a D-ring that attaches the strap to the body, that area would be even better.  Purses are mostly banned in my family for safety reasons (and for efficiency.)  Most of us have a spring-loaded  "KeySafe" belt clip on our belts, like this one:   https://www.amazon.com/Lucky-Line-Chain-Key-Safe-47601/dp/B000CDNIBI/ref=sr_1_5?crid=20ZBYFOK2FZKM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.oQnldiEwkEIsPX9zwwGPdkmBwv19ZaOQKfKPzUAu4unHw-QchgR0ZrgyAl3GVZcDlmgBqIJY84fv4akCdYVblzvlKLWXlNI1X937_T9nnmhFmkxSOkAlVPTmnAHMTEkbyboHk5qFQ1H51bRzYjiAnRTVkEV0Iy3vxYOHaBliGWKM9KJGJ5LagovAv2zsk6D7PPQKi0a6zfb4n_fRdPeFyJ_LT5N8vQ5QoFw2xH1ynC6_E2awll4An-2mdWgVQW2vOLcvbPlYJwaG5MAsQDaY31GF2YTht2gQ2xlHANyb1do.ZtjH7KzXBgx8uTWcBuVWJvf1eoegvLYGhhA5nGxcPDk&dib_tag=se&keywords=keysafe+belt+clip&qid=1746764832&sprefix=keysafe%2Caps%2C1350&sr=8-5   I try not to wear heavy stuff, but if I'm wearing pants with a belt I use the KeySafe clip.  My husband actually wears three!  One for home, one for vehicle, one for work. 

I guess its a mental or emotional comfort?  A matter of perspective?   I grew up in girl form, and I never liked female clothing.  I always gravitated toward wearing looser or wearing less.  And now... when I come home from being in public I just want to strip and get it all off me. 

I think one problem is that the broader population assumes that L and G and B and T and I etc are mutually exclusive.  You pick one.  For me it isn't that easy.  I'm intersex, which is physical or medical.  I'm trans, which is more psychological in that my essence doesn't really match the body I was born with and the gender I was assigned.  I'm bisexual in that I enjoy sex with my cis male husband and my cis female partners...but even that term might not work because I think I'm more attracted to a person's mind and how they relate to me.    Bickering and tribalism are natural.  I'm frequently feeling like I'm not part of the "in crowd" because I don't vote Democrat.  Its like to be considered "truly" LGBTQ+ you have to identify with a certain worldview or politics as well.  Like if you disagree politically, even on stuff that's not quite related to gender/sexuality issues, then you don't belong.  Its so strange for me, as I'm used to people whose orientations and views are any sort of combination.   It seems like for many, being LGBTQ+ is a primary aspect of their identity.  For me, it is more of a secondary issue.  I'd rather not sacrifice my gender or sexuality to fit in with society...but it would be much easier to do that than to sacrifice my faith, family, worldview, or politics.  My ability to be flexible in this way seems to be alien to those who are more inclined toward tribalism within the broader LGBTQ+ group.    Just my observations...no real conclusions    

Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!!   Trans Groups Zoom Meeting Times:   May 10, 2025 6:00 PM Pacific Time May 10, 2025 8:00 PM Central Time May 10, 2025 9:00 PM Eastern Time May 11, 2025 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Topic: Trans Groups Zoom Meeting Time: Apr 27, 2025 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne Join Zoom Meeting   https://us06web.zoom.us/j/85249011207?pwd=i5nkKLaWuPnt0ffZCqm589tTMC6j0F.1   Meeting ID: 852 4901 1207 Passcode: 004708

On our own, the Transgender community does not have the numbers required to have an effective voice in law or the community. We do share many of the issues with the LBGA community, so it makes sense that we combine for advocative purposes. The problem arises when people group us for all circumstances. Perhaps we would all be better served by a more appropriate group name which clearly denotes advocacy.    As for the divisive comments some people make within the group, this is just tribalism. For example, I am asexual, so joined an Asexual community group, but I left because of the constant bickering among members who couldn't agree if asexuals do not engage in sex, and those who argued that it just meant they didn't have any preference who they had sex with. The general benefit of this group was lost because a couple of people refused to accept any definition but their own.     Hugs,   Allie

I think that the benefits of working together with the other 'letters' outweigh the negatives.  The discrimination that we face is pretty much the same as what the sexual orientation groups face.  Those who would discriminate against us do not make a distinction, other than to pick us as their first target.  I think we benefit from supporting each other.   Historically, the sexual orientation groups and the gender identity groups have always worked together, going back to the days of the Compton's Cafeteria and the Stonewall riots.  Whether it is accurate or not, legend has it that Marsha P. Johnson, a trans woman, threw the first brick at Stonewall.   Efforts to separate transgender people from the LBG+ groups are intended to divide and conquer.  There is no benefit to us, only to our oppressors.

I'm kinda behind on things here.  I just got back from 10 days in the psych ward at the VA.  I have a lot of stuff going on, and of course the politics these days isn't much fun. I can say that the medical staff there was very nice to me.  I was the only rans woman there.  There was one other woman there when I got there, but she left the next day.  Another cis woman was there the last few days.  We hung out together a good bit.  The rest were all guys - but they were friendly. You could wear your own clothes once you were in there, but alas, my skirt had a drawstring which was a no-no.  But one of my daughters brought me a skirt and a nice dress. My daughters took my guns out of my house while I was there, but they did ask first. They had a TV, but I avoided the news.  Just seeing it in passing was enough for me. Back home now, but with a few more pills to take.

This topic keeps coming up for debate, and it is from both the T and the others.  It is a matter so far where the benefits outweigh the possible harms of both sides being together.  There are enough places even in T where sexuality is an issue for those inside the group.  You will find many posts here within our limits talking about just that.  The minute that anyone mentions Gender Confirmation medical treatments, some Cis person is going to get a weird feeling that they mistake for sexual excitement.  Most would have the same reaction if they were strapped under a Guillotine blade I am sad to say, so there is little we can do about negating the sex issues in the minds of our detractors.  This was a discussion I came into when I began my transition 15 years ago.  As an officer in my local LGBTQ center, the actual sex issues of the LGB people I listen to are also highly overblown and most of their participation is based on wanting the company of other people with the same orientation, but not as potential sex partners.  Other similarities between the groups are also a cohesive element and reason to stay as the full alphabet.  Example: the feelings of Gay / Lesbian couples who have had a long term partner die and are grieving is very close to the set of feelings at play when the partner or PARENT of a Trans person is in their time of grief for a "lost" partner or child who has transitioned.  I have moderated support groups where that has happened.  All of us are marginalized by vast segments of the Cis / Het communities who do not intend to know ANY LGBTQIA et al person or give them acknowledgement. As I said, this has been tossed around often here and can be read

After reading somethings it got me thinking. In the LGBTQIA+(I think I got all of them😁) community the T seems to be out of place. All but transgender are sexual orientations, and I have to think this encourage the thinking that our community is a fetish. Granted there are people who's fetish is dressing, but I'm not sure they would fall under trans or not. Would it be better to separate our community from them to show the world we are not just a sexual fetish or does being included allow for a safety in numbers type of thing to facilitate change.......

So I am very closeted. But after work I slip out of my jeans and button down; and put on something a little more me in the privacy of my own home. I don't know if I will ever transition, but if I were to I would pitch every pair of pants i own and where exclusively dresses, skirtx, and leggings. Pants will never be allowed in the house again Leggings especially, no matter what you or your body is doing, they just fit.  Oh I wish I could wear them in public.....

They finally arrived. Yay! They are a lot more comfortable than I was expecting. Although a sod to put on. First day out in public with it on tomorrow as they were here when I got home from work today.  I also had my hair cut yesterday. First time I have requested a man's haircut. Usually I would describe how I wanted it and the hairdresser would do a girls version. If that makes sense. But not this time. Feeling super confident. Just hope no one bursts mt bubble and miss genders me! 

I (16, FTM) am currently closeted so buying actual stuff for transmasc people isn't a option. But my parents are also -censored- idiots so just tell me anything that doesn't involve buying things exclusively for transmasculine people please. :3   Currently, I bind with the two sports bras trick, I make sure my hair is at the very least shorter than shoulder length(even if I can't get a masculine haircut), I wear the baggiest clothing I can(though it ain't good honestly), stuff like that.    So advice plz!! I have money, but my parents would also see what I buy so take that as you will.    I do have a style that I want to aim for, which is heshin retro, or juminocore as it's also called (I won't blame you if you have to google what that style is). Idk, it's a cool style but it has that name because it originates in Japan (I believe).    For body type, I'm chubby, but in the way that I'm only a couple pounds above midsized body types, so not super chubby. I do have a waist curve, because there's not a lot of fat around my ribcage but there is fat around my hips and stomach.    And I have a chest that, while it's noticable without binding, you can't tell that I have a chest when I'm binding if my clothes are baggy.    Oh yeah, I'm also a pale indigenous guy(mixed between white and indigenous) for help on things like facial features. I actually have a lot of traditionally masculine features (according to American beauty standards) due to my race, which I love.    Hopefully that's enough information for y'all to figure out how I can present masculine 

Be kind to yourself, you're worthy

For me. I seem to do it too much

The cracks are getting much bigger.