Welcome to Trans Pulse, @Jaye.  Yes, it can be confusing, stressful and difficult to go through these doubts when you have spent a lifetime trying to suppress it, even to yourself.  I started the process at 55.  Hopefully your therapist has some experience with trans patients; but if not, finding a gender therapist in the MA shouldn't be difficult.  I think you would find it very helpful.   Please look around the forums, post where you like, ask any questions, and we'll be here for you.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie

Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!!   Trans Groups Zoom Meeting Times:   May 3, 2025 6:00 PM Pacific Time May 3, 2025 8:00 PM Central Time May 3, 2025 9:00 PM Eastern Time May 4, 2025 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Topic: Trans Groups Zoom Meeting Time: May 4, 2025 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Join Zoom Meeting   https://us06web.zoom.us/j/87845123535?pwd=t9cQvD67XnSjmiVMETIXYlvvyR7PAa.1   Meeting ID: 878 4512 3535 Passcode: 407287

Thank you @Vidanjali They are sending me the missing items. Hopefully be here by at least Wednesday. It's a bank Holiday here in England on Monday  so no post sadly.

Actually there was likely a significant percentage of "I don't know".  I would expect it to be over 2%, so it is likely less than 49% think there is a focus. 

❤️ thanks for your honesty 

Welcome to TGP, Jaye! You'll find quite a few of us who found ourselves later in life. Perhaps it is because our generation wasn't given the opportunity to explore and learn about ourselves. We were expected to become whatever was on our birth certificates. I fought dysphoria and depression until I was almost 68 and came out to my wife in a gushing outburst...not something I would recommend. Fortunately for me, she has accepted who I am and who I am becoming. I'm glad to see you are working with a therapist - it was a life-saver for me.    Wander around the forums, ask questions and jump in where you feel comfortable.    

Hi Jaye,    Welcome, and thank you for sharing!    I too am in my 60s, and found this wonderful place about a year and a half ago when exploring and facing my gender identity became unavoidable. This place is a cornerstone of support for me. I hope it will be for you as well!   -Timi

Hi Everyone -   I am new here and in the process of trying to figure out a side of me that I've ignored or pushed down much of my life until recent years.    I'm in my mid 60's, and when I have time completely to myself, I dress as and enjoy my feminine persona. No one else currently knows about this side of me but my therapist. I'm not sure how my wife would accept this, and for that and many other reasons am admittedly rather reluctant to come out.    Since my desire is to be a woman when I can be in that place, my situation seems to extend beyond simply crossdressing, but since I'm not uncomfortable being a man nor looking to give it up entirely at this point, I'm not completely on the full transgender end of looking to be a woman 24/7 either. Admittedly I don't myself find expressing as a mix particularly satisfying.  I do know that when I am in my woman persona, I do enjoy it and would love to be able to be that more of the time were other considerations not factors.  Look forward to joining more conversations 🙂     Hugs Jaye

Yes. This week. Now. I've been evicted, my housemate had surgery and is working two jobs and having mental problems, and my sister had a heart attack. Is this a good time for visitors from out of country? At first, I thought: "Absolutely not!" However, Alex is here and she's been a godsend. Full of life and love—exactly what we need. This sad, depressed home is blessed this week. (Oh, and I've found a great new home, and my sister is home and doing well.)

@Jake I hope you're feeling calmer by now. I can see how that would be extremely disappointing seeing as there was so much emotion-driven anticipation. Try to dissociate the disappointment from your sense of self. You were looking forward to the possible euphoria (or at least reduction in dysphoria) that this garment might provide. Just think about the fact that you were anticipating that being brought out in you. It's still in you, waiting to come out! Things are going to work out. If they're out of stock or something like that, you're going to wind up getting something even better. Peace & love to you.

Well what was to be a short day has just become a full day at work. I have to go in as soon as I get ready. Instead of at 1pm which was scheduled.  Nice to be needed sometimes though it can be trying at times.  Oh well.  As soon as I finish my coffee I’ll shower and leave.

Therapy session just pointed out frustration.

Deep down inside - what does happiness look like to you?

A good way to start your day positively is to appreciate the small moments of joy, like the warmth of the sun or a delicious cup of coffee. Remind yourself that every day is a fresh opportunity to be happy and grateful.    Here are some additional happy thoughts to consider: Acts of kindness: Helping others can create a ripple effect of happiness and positivity.    Remember your values: Align your actions with your core values to find a sense of purpose and meaning.    Embrace challenges as learn Gratitude: Take a moment to appreciate the things you have and the people who are a part of your life.    Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative thoughts with affirmations that boost your self-esteem and confidence.    Focus on the present: Engage in activities that bring you joy and allow you to fully experience the current moment.   

A good way to start your day positively is to appreciate the small moments of joy, like the warmth of the sun or a delicious cup of coffee. Remind yourself that every day is a fresh opportunity to be happy and grateful.    Here are some additional happy thoughts to consider: Acts of kindness: Helping others can create a ripple effect of happiness and positivity.    Remember your values: Align your actions with your core values to find a sense of purpose and meaning.    Embrace challenges as learn Gratitude: Take a moment to appreciate the things you have and the people who are a part of your life.    Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative thoughts with affirmations that boost your self-esteem and confidence.    Focus on the present: Engage in activities that bring you joy and allow you to fully experience the current moment.   

Welcome Mejc - yours is a common story. Most of yours was similar to mine. The more I tried to push my feelings away that stronger they got. In my sixties having been married 30 years, I could take it any longer and told my wife I had to talk to a gender dysphoria therapist and try HRT. If that didn't work I'd try something else because I couldn't go the way I was any longer, as I said. I also got a great workbook called Gender Identity by Dara Hoffman-Fox (about $15 on Amazon). It asked and organized questions so I could answer based on my background and feelings. I found a therapist and did go on HRT and found it finally gave me relief. Now my wife struggled to accept me and we struggled for a long time but she finally accepterd me. You need to have a lot of compassion for your CIS spouse as this is entirely new to them and remember you've had this most of your life but didn't know why.  Now you might not be transgender but you may not be CIS, but somewhere in-between and exploring with professional help can be a life saver.  Ask any questions you have - as you can already see from the above answers, we have experienced many things in our lives and we share lovingly, affirmingly and from our experiences, wanting only that you are happy with YOU.