What is loving yourself? Is it looking in the mirror and adoring what you see? Is it enjoyment of inhabiting your own brain? Is it delight in your own personality? No, I believe it is none of these. Loving yourself first requires knowing yourself - who is it you love? Knowing yourself is an ongoing, progressive pursuit. The mark of success in knowing yourself is the experience of self-love. So, what does it take to know yourself? I means letting go of who you are not. Over and over and over again. In this, transgender people have a gift because there is a very pronounced sense of "this is not me" - the roles we are conditioned to and expected to perform by society. Letting that go means different things for different people (e.g. some physically transition, others do so socially, while others transition their understanding of themself in subtle ways known only to themself - and everything in between). Are you the body? Many trans people find intense incongruence with the body. Some wish for a different body. But every body is temporary. Are you temporary? Or are you enduring? Are you your thoughts? Your feelings? They are also temporary. Are you your personality? Consider how temperamental that is too. So, what is loveable about you? What do you find adorable about others? Really loveable. Maybe it seems the personality, but those personalities that seem to shine with effulgence, who seem to have an ineffable freedom about them, who are patient, calm, joyful, and kind - they are most lovable. That does not depend on your perception of their appearance. And how has someone so loveable become so brilliant? It is because their thoughts and sentiments are not casting shadows on the light of their innate inner love. Everyone has the potential to be like that. And in that, self-love is found. Because it's not the individuality that is lovable , it's the universality of love itself expressing in a person that evokes the feeling of love. And if you can free yourself from the confines of limiting factors such as "I am the body", "I am my thoughts and memories, etc.", "I am this troublesome personality", then self-love is reflected in you and all others.   Are you able to love yourself even when you're stressed? Stress contracts the sense of freedom and brightness that is love. But you can love yourself even during times of stress by positive affirmation. First, recognize that you are stressed. Close your eyes and breathe slowly and fully. Notice the physical sensations of stress in the body just like an explorer who is discovering that sensation for the first time. And say to yourself: "The body-mind is experiencing the sensation of stress, which will pass." Disengage from thoughts of cause and effect - the simple fact is the sensation of stress is occurring, and it is temporary just like everything in life. Then imagine the opposite feeling. What does it feel like to be stress-free. Using the power of mind, feel tension in the body ease, imagine your mind as a vast deep lake, and your heart opening like a fragrant flower in springtime. You are that freedom. You are that lovability. You feel compassion for all people who have also experienced stress and send love to all. All are lovable as you are. 

I've seen my short term memory decline.  Or at least that's what I remember.

Been a week. I started my new job. My job totally accepting. To my wife's enjoyment I am finally getting the shed put up.  Finally got the saddlebag cut in kit for the bike. Also getting the new (to us) car.   Other than the $$$ situation It is doing great.   Kymmie

love myself, What is this concept? I don't remember ever loving who I am. Not even when I didn't know who I was.   Kymmie

It's the little things that matter 

Sending you all my positive energy!!!

Ah, it’s Saturday a day most people have to run errands and buy food.  Me, I have to be at work at 9.  Oh well at least my summer pay kicks in today.  Coffee is consumed as was a banana.  I’m being stared at by the dog.  I told her in a minute so she walked away.  Very smart dog she understands how to communicate her needs and how to understand our (well at least my) responses.  I don’t think she particularly likes living here. Our last home she could let herself out and back in. She knew how to open the doors and the yard had an invisible fence.  Here she must be on leash.

I'd throw in some humus as it is another good source of protein. Have a great weekend!   Hugs,   Charlize

The would be king withdrew and the children will get to eat.  Hats off to Maine!   Hugs,   Charlize

Even with good things still down.

A kind thought for today: Remember to appreciate the little things, like a warm smile from a stranger or a kind word from a friend. It's the small acts of kindness that can make a big difference in someone's day.    Here are some additional ideas for kind thoughts:   Random acts of kindness: Consider doing something kind for someone you don't know, like offering a helping hand or buying someone a drink. Thoughtfulness: Think about the needs and desires of others and try to meet them when you can. Positive thinking: Focus on the good things in your life and appreciate the opportunities you have. Kindness in words: Be mindful of the words you use and try to speak with kindness and compassion. Kindness in actions: Be mindful of your actions and try to do things that uplift and inspire others. Kindness in thoughts: Consider the thoughts you have about others and try to think with kindness and compassion. Be the change: Try to be the person you want to see in the world by practicing kindness and compassion. Spread the love: Share your kindness with others and encourage them to do the same. Kindness is contagious: Remember that kindness can have a ripple effect and make a positive impact on the lives of many people. Gratitude: Take a moment to appreciate the simple things in life, like the sunshine or the comfort of your home. Compassion: Remember that everyone is going through something, and be patient and understanding with yourself and others. Kindness towards yourself: Practice self-compassion and acknowledge your worth. Empathy: Try to understand the feelings and experiences of those around you.

A kind thought for today: Remember to appreciate the little things, like a warm smile from a stranger or a kind word from a friend. It's the small acts of kindness that can make a big difference in someone's day.    Here are some additional ideas for kind thoughts:   Random acts of kindness: Consider doing something kind for someone you don't know, like offering a helping hand or buying someone a drink. Thoughtfulness: Think about the needs and desires of others and try to meet them when you can. Positive thinking: Focus on the good things in your life and appreciate the opportunities you have. Kindness in words: Be mindful of the words you use and try to speak with kindness and compassion. Kindness in actions: Be mindful of your actions and try to do things that uplift and inspire others. Kindness in thoughts: Consider the thoughts you have about others and try to think with kindness and compassion. Be the change: Try to be the person you want to see in the world by practicing kindness and compassion. Spread the love: Share your kindness with others and encourage them to do the same. Kindness is contagious: Remember that kindness can have a ripple effect and make a positive impact on the lives of many people. Gratitude: Take a moment to appreciate the simple things in life, like the sunshine or the comfort of your home. Compassion: Remember that everyone is going through something, and be patient and understanding with yourself and others. Kindness towards yourself: Practice self-compassion and acknowledge your worth. Empathy: Try to understand the feelings and experiences of those around you.

A kind thought for today: Remember to appreciate the little things, like a warm smile from a stranger or a kind word from a friend. It's the small acts of kindness that can make a big difference in someone's day.    Here are some additional ideas for kind thoughts:   Random acts of kindness: Consider doing something kind for someone you don't know, like offering a helping hand or buying someone a drink. Thoughtfulness: Think about the needs and desires of others and try to meet them when you can. Positive thinking: Focus on the good things in your life and appreciate the opportunities you have. Kindness in words: Be mindful of the words you use and try to speak with kindness and compassion. Kindness in actions: Be mindful of your actions and try to do things that uplift and inspire others. Kindness in thoughts: Consider the thoughts you have about others and try to think with kindness and compassion. Be the change: Try to be the person you want to see in the world by practicing kindness and compassion. Spread the love: Share your kindness with others and encourage them to do the same. Kindness is contagious: Remember that kindness can have a ripple effect and make a positive impact on the lives of many people. Gratitude: Take a moment to appreciate the simple things in life, like the sunshine or the comfort of your home. Compassion: Remember that everyone is going through something, and be patient and understanding with yourself and others. Kindness towards yourself: Practice self-compassion and acknowledge your worth. Empathy: Try to understand the feelings and experiences of those around you.

A kind thought for today: Remember to appreciate the little things, like a warm smile from a stranger or a kind word from a friend. It's the small acts of kindness that can make a big difference in someone's day.    Here are some additional ideas for kind thoughts:   Random acts of kindness: Consider doing something kind for someone you don't know, like offering a helping hand or buying someone a drink. Thoughtfulness: Think about the needs and desires of others and try to meet them when you can. Positive thinking: Focus on the good things in your life and appreciate the opportunities you have. Kindness in words: Be mindful of the words you use and try to speak with kindness and compassion. Kindness in actions: Be mindful of your actions and try to do things that uplift and inspire others. Kindness in thoughts: Consider the thoughts you have about others and try to think with kindness and compassion. Be the change: Try to be the person you want to see in the world by practicing kindness and compassion. Spread the love: Share your kindness with others and encourage them to do the same. Kindness is contagious: Remember that kindness can have a ripple effect and make a positive impact on the lives of many people. Gratitude: Take a moment to appreciate the simple things in life, like the sunshine or the comfort of your home. Compassion: Remember that everyone is going through something, and be patient and understanding with yourself and others. Kindness towards yourself: Practice self-compassion and acknowledge your worth. Empathy: Try to understand the feelings and experiences of those around you.

I did it again - it is Saturday and I forgot to post my Friday fact:   we can only remember a handful of things in our ‘short term’ memory A large part of the reason we seem to forget so much may well be that, whilst our long term memory is virtually limitless, our short term, or ‘working’ memory has a much, much smaller capacity. The original research into short term memory says we can only remember 5 to 9 pieces of information there at any given time, though more recent experiments suggest it may even be as low as 4! Not convinced? Try it yourself with this quick experiment! Study the list of words below for 2 minutes, then (without looking back at them) write down as many words as you can remember. These limits on short term memory explain why ‘cramming’ information just before an exam doesn’t work that well, so one clear strategy to remember more of what you learn is to space out your studying so that more information moves from your short term to your long term memory.

Are you able to love yourself even when you are stressed?

Welcome Jaye - so good to meet you. I finally did something about my lifetime issue in my late 60's and with a marriage to a CIS woman of 30 years. It was very hard but I am so much happier now. Nearly lost my spouse but with compassion (I lived with it all my life - she never suspected) and working it out, she stayed and is a great ally now. You've found a great place to ask questions as many of us can relate - and we only what YOU want in your journey and will do our best ask answer questions honestly, lovingly and from experience, affirming you in whatever way you need to be affirmed. Glad you are here, Heather

The conference was ok, a bit too radical for me, but then I suppose that's how things are now. One idea that has come up was to place a symbol in the window of a venue to let Trans and none binary know that they can feel at ease and that the venue is safe and inviting to all. Some pictures of my time spent at the venue yesterday

Colder day today, that will teach me to not put my winter wardrobe away. Had a bit of a shock yesterday when I got home from the conference, doctors surgery said to contact immediately and have been told I am on an emergency wait of less than 7 days to go to hospital as my blood levels are elevated? on tender hooks but trying to keep my mind off things.