Omg @KymmieL, I’m sorry, I just noticed my phone autocorrected your name to the name of someone I know. Lesson: always reread comments before posting!

Hi Kylie, I’m so intrigued by your comment. You say you didn’t love yourself *even* when you didn’t know who you were, but wouldn’t it have been much harder to love yourself back then? That word “even” makes it sound as though it should have been easier in the days when you were in the closet. Is that what you meant? 

Yes I am. My self-love is not conditional on my mood. In fact, when I am stressed I will almost always find time to stop, take a deep breath, and reassure myself: “You’re doing great Bette. I love you so much.”   I did not always have this skill, far from it. But something changed in me when I came out. I think a big part of it was that I suddenly understood the degree of the challenges I had been enduring. Since it was obvious how much happier (and kinder and healthier and in touch with my emotions) I was due to behaving authentically, it became clear just how much I had suffered by not behaving authentically. And this helped me forgive myself for how I’d behaved in the time before transition, because I finally understood the challenges I’d faced then.   This is so deep Vidanjali, and it speaks to why loving others is so difficult if we struggle to love ourselves. 

@Mmindy good to see you back. Glad everything is going good.     Had a physical therapy appointment. dealing with my planter facetious. While in the waiting room, waiting. I actually had a Transwoman come in. This is the first one of us I have seen at the Cheyenne VA.    Kymmie 

Yes. I will not go into personal details, but I have: avoided travel, been more vigilant while out, accelerated every gender-affirm procedure I possibly could, started stockpiling medication, have had some zany conversations about setting up a hormone support network, lost tens of thousands in investments (and had to liquidate some to have funds from losing positions, because I won't get my first check until mid-May), had to listen to that blowhard and his sycophantic handler/cronies bloviate every day, have had to hire more security for my events, had to be more worried about where and how we advertise said events (had someone ripping flyers down--INSIDE a coffee shop), have had people emboldened by the rhetoric to directly confront me with their BS opinions about me, hmm...I'm sure there's more.

Update: 

The biggest effect on me is that my personal ban on travel to the US has changed from a self-imposed one (I just wouldn't have felt safe there) to an official one (I am not admissible due to having my correct gender on my passport).  It is dumb, having to lie to get into the country, but they consider the correct information to be fraud.  I'm not going to go there, both literally and figuratively.   Travel by road is out of the question: I could be arrested and incarcerated.  Travel by air is safer because the border screening takes place on Canadian soil.  When I would be found inadmissible, the worst they could do would be to tell me to go home.   I worry that trumpist politics are coming here.  We dodged a bullet in the recent federal election, but those right-wingers are still among us.  The longer the orange one remains in power, the more those policies will become normalized, even here.

I am doing exactly that in the current play.  The backdrop has to change from afternoon light to sunset during each scene.  The LEDs are a bit too digital for a totally smooth fade, but if I do it slowly enough, the audience doesn't seem to notice the jumps.

I used to consider my life innately cursed. Now, I consider it all a great blessing. The blessing is being able to see it that way. It may see like an empty platitude, but certainly all the challenges I have faced have helped me to develop virtues. I could not have seen it that way in the past. But it's a simple principle - even babies crawl before they can walk, and they fall down many times before they become proficient. 

As is your warmth and happiness!

So far they've prevented me from updating my gender with the social security office and also will prevent me from doing so on my passport. Also the stock market crash knocked a few hundred dollars off my IRA in only a single day.

There hasn't been a direct effect on my personal situation (so far).  What I worry about is what comes next, and about all the folks, young and not young, who are feeling direct effects.  It isn't all about me.  Also, I am much more nervous than I used to be about prejudiced cis-folk feeling less constrained about expressing themselves towards me. "Live and let live" seems to have become an anachronism.  Troubled times they have come.   Carolyn Marie

I'm really feeling the pressure of this administration, honestly feeling scared as to what it could mean for me, and the community as a whole. After fighting the dysphoria / inner turmoil for the last few years I'm finally in a place where I'm ready to be me. This year I've been slowly building a support network ahead of coming out, all of my healthcare providers are behind me, my PCP is supportive and we're talking next steps. I've come to accept that this could spell the end for my marriage ☹️ and all that's associated with that, but now with what this administration is doing, I don't know what to do.    I'm from the UK and up for renewal next year, and now I'm debating whether I should delay yet another year just to be safe or if it's safe enough for me to start transitioning now and just try to boymode when I have to show up next year to take a new photo. I worry that by coming out now it might jeopardize my chances to renew my status. And with how gung-ho they're being with deportations what happens if they decide my identity is enough to warrant an arrest or deny my renewal, one infraction now and I can be sent out and honestly that terrifies me. 

There's not that much use for colour filters, they have become a collectors item worth alot of money. I have both Lee Colourtran and Rank Strand, with the advent of DMX and LED technology you can change a lamps colour via dmx.For me as a dancer and then injuring my ankle foot, put an end to my career so i progressed back stage.   I have a lot of happy memories working in both theatre and cabaret, I remember when a new idea came out which i said would never catch on, my poor boss kept pleading with me to carry on but i was crawling up the wall, "he would often say", I feel your pain, but think about the money, sound video production was a very specialist field. I would lay down what was called a click track and if the artists on stage stopped for any reason (and there were many) we had to re sinc the whole thing again. Music video production wasn't my thing really, credit to those that can do it. Picture on the left gateway recording studio teaching pod, Picture on the right Carvin  Mixing desk from Mytle Beach, United States

I do the audio and some video work for Trans events and shows here in my areas. Pictures would be the gig boxes sitting in my garage just now. (About 15 of them).  Doing the tech work was a lifesaver, literally many years ago.  I do Spoken Word pieces with my Chorus as a performer that has been a lot of fun.  Just had one of my SW scripts done by another Trans person for another concert group. They did not butcher it too badly.

The theatre community is one place that is usually friendly to trans and gay folks.  I have worked as a sound and light tech in one of our local community theatre groups for quite a few years.  The actors and crew are all very accepting and supportive.     That exact filter sample is sitting on the sound desk in the booth right now! 

Hi, Tara.  Welcome!   The designed promiscuity of social media is a problem for us.  The only social medium I use is Facebook.  I know I had to be super careful when I transitioned to avoid having my new identity broadcast before I was ready for it.   Creating a new account sounds like the best option.  I would think that the most likely way the new account would be compromised would be by a photo that old contacts would recognize.  Can you avoid photos until you are ready to be out to old contacts?  (I don't know Linkedin, so I am just guessing, based on my experience with Facebook.)   One gotcha on Facebook, that might apply on Linkedin is "cookies" and/or your IP address.  If the server software recognizes either one, it might associate the two accounts and pop up your new identity as "someone you might know" to old contacts.  The safest way to manage that is to use different computer/devices for each account and never use the wrong device.  The second-safest way, if that is not possible, is to use different browsers for the two accounts: they will share an IP address, but they won't share cookies.  Again, you must never get it wrong.   You also have to manage "friends" for the two identities.  The two accounts can never have common friends.  Otherwise, contacts will get told that they have a friend of a friend who has a lot (i.e. too much!) in common.   Good luck getting it set up safely!   (By the way, welcome to Canada!)

Hello everyone, I'm pre-op/hrt and I plan to start my social transition. I'm not a big user of social media as I use it strictly for communication and professional needs. Changing my name, pronouns, and presentation online is tricky. I'll provide some context:  I am from a country that isn't pro-lgbt. I am moving to Canada which can help start fresh with clothing, hair, etc in person. While no one will find a problem with my online presentation in Canada, it will be problematic once people from my country see it. I'm not ready to be that open about it yet.   A specific platform I'm facing problems with is LinkedIn. I thought of making a new account to get out of the radar from my original community, but I fear this site's feature that notifies people who attended similar organizations (learning institutions, occupations, etc) would ruin things. Limiting the visibility of my account would make employers less likely to see my page for job opportunities if not unable to find my account. There's already a debated problem over the verification process by legal document which excludes individuals like us from getting more exposure, but that's a story for another time.   I need this site for my career and for networking in my new lifestyle. If anyone who found a way through this or has suggestions, I'd highly appreciate.    Thank you in advance! 

I consider my personal journey a necessity.  I can't call it a blessing.  It wasn't a cure, because there was nothing wrong with me to fix.  If you have been pounding your head against a wall, is stopping that unproductive action a "cure"?  No, it is just a necessity.    

Good morning everyone.   It was a 17 page scan, to get somewhat caught up. @Willow is as busy as ever and has a new house mate. @April Mariehad a birthday. So Happy belated Birthday. @KymmieLhas lost and found a job, all while keeping the family together, building a car and shed. So many others have had bad news, followed by good news. Way too many to mention.    My life has been so busy and my social media activity was put on hold. Life is mostly good and we’re getting the house set up for minimal maintenance requirements in the future. Our travel toys are all assembled for a Summer of Camping. We’ll be long term camping around the Midwest. The cool thing for me is we have portable wifi that allows use to stay in touch with our family and friends.    Hugs, positive vibes and energy for everyone.    🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋💖