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  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 373 Guests (See full list)

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  • Who Was Online

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  • Recent Posts

    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I haven't really been affected yet.  I think the biggest effect is uncertainty.  There's a feeling that we're standing on the edge of a cliff.  What will the administration do?  How will people respond?  There's some nervousness in my community about a potential repeat of the civil unrest from 2020.  But there's also some hope that maybe we could see some long-term economic improvement. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It was definitely a nice weekend.  We really needed some bonding and relaxation time.  The four of us turned the suite into a big nest, and barely did anything.  Well, we did end up going to the buffet once for dinner.  And we went out to get our drinks, because the cost to get that at the hotel was just so high.  But we ordered in more pizza and tacos and desserts than we could eat...its great not having to clean up!   I wish we didn't have to go back to our real lives after the weekend.  But I think we're going to plan some more events where the four of us can get away.  Maybe a fishing trip in a couple of weeks?  IDK.     I'm starting to relax a bit about leaving home.  Its taken two and a half years after being assaulted, but I'm getting there.  Helps that my sister is law enforcement and one of my friends is a defense sharpshooter.  LGBTQ+ or not, nobody is going to bother us!   Well, except for family.  I finally talked with GF today.  I mostly ignored her when she came back from her trip last week....and I didn't say anything to her about my weekend plans or where I would be.  I told my husband, but not her, since she didn't have the courtesy to tell me about her trip until right as she was leaving.  Definitely a rough patch for us, and I'm having trouble not being mad at her.  If she's going to take me for granted, I'll just go be happy with my friends.  I just feel the need for some time away from her right now.   I found out today that one of my partners (my husband's first wife) is being honored in our community this Mothers' Day.  Her name is being added to the "Order of Heroic Motherhood" wall at the county courthouse.  Its given to mothers of 10+ children who are also recognized for community service.  I'm really happy for her, and looking forward to attending the ceremony.  She's been a wonderful example, and a great partner for me. 
    • KateM97
      27,M, for now 😜!  I've struggled with gender dysphoria for a while now. There's always been signs, a lot that I didn't even pick up until a few years ago. This was mostly due to working on my mental health and trying to accept me for me and I have come to realise that I can't accept myself if I continue to live as man.   Even referring to myself as a man just doesn't feel right it hasn't felt right for a while. Like in public when referred to with male pronouns it just doesn't feel right and it makes me feel uncomfortable.   I have now come to realise that I would feel a lot more comfortable being seen as a Woman. This feeling I have try to ignore for a while but its always been at the back of my mind. I opened up about this for the first time to my mental health worker a few days ago about this and honestly it felt amazing afterwards, during it was quite hard and I was very nervous, it did help that she was so supportive when I told her. It just felt like a relief to finally tell someone about how I feel.  Because now it's not a thought thats at the back of my mind, its something I'm finally ready to address and start my journey to becoming a women. Honestly I've felt so euphoric all weekend looking for womens clothes online to buy when I get paid later on this week. As I said before I feel so happy that I'm ready to start my journey!!!
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://apnews.com/article/transgender-hud-fair-housing-trump-lgbtq-turner-915634741f56f3d5ea265e316cd396bb     Why, of course he is.  He is using every tool, and every agency at his disposal to wage war against this community.  The courts are the only way he won't be victorious.   Carolyn Marie
    • VickySGV
      As you will notice in my signature line I put myself down as both  Female and Non-Binary as far as how I can be seen socially.  I have been that way for quite a few years by now here, but one person who leads a group I am a member of just got told by another member that I am not the pure Binary Female Trans that they had known going back 15+ years, and now I am getting "humor" about the dual citizenship as they like to put it.  One remark that way on their part was annoying but I was able to let it pass and hoped it would be buried, but NO, NOT THE CASE.  I frankly do not see the humor but it gives them belly jiggle laughs.*  I am simply an older Trans Woman whose days of being a "cute chick" are gone with the clock ticking and the binary gender days associated with sexual desirability or attraction are history.  My NB look, which is there, is like any other post menopausal woman, and I have grown up to the point where I am not short fuse touchy about what title and identity others see.  The stress is off of me to a large degree over how I should appear in public, and right now I consider that to be a safety factor.  Old women are NOT seen the way younger, pretty class women are.  Jokes about my conforming to Trans standards are just getting as old as I am, just sooner than I have.  C'mon folks.   Another gripe I have is that I have two surviving family members who like to joke and give big laughs to family events that today I see no humor in because now as I really look at the events, they were meant to be hurtful to me and others and my memories are not longer on the fun and teasing that they declared the behaviors to be.  I am having to, and have made amends to my life to keep from showing those behaviors of hurt masked as humor and "loving" teasing.  What may have been funny in a moment back when, today is actually painful to think about.  I want to share the real moments of care and when love was demonstrated and those times too get laughed at.  YUCK.      *The person is Trans and part of my chosen family circle and I do love them until they open their mouth.  They too however are getting old with memory problems in plenty.
    • VickySGV
      Not really more nervous, but watchful is up there. My personal motto is "Just because you are paranoid, does not mean they are NOT out to get you."  My recent grouchy feelings are about a few people who say they are allies but who open their mouths and get things confused about who and what Trans people are.  I still love these people but one, who is a local community leader, making the recommendation to take a Drag Queen to lunch to get to know Trans People misses the mark of Trans People needing help and understanding.   (Yes I have messaged them.)
    • Betty K
      Omg @KymmieL, I’m sorry, I just noticed my phone autocorrected your name to the name of someone I know. Lesson: always reread comments before posting!
    • Betty K
      Hi Kylie, I’m so intrigued by your comment. You say you didn’t love yourself *even* when you didn’t know who you were, but wouldn’t it have been much harder to love yourself back then? That word “even” makes it sound as though it should have been easier in the days when you were in the closet. Is that what you meant? 
    • Betty K
      Yes I am. My self-love is not conditional on my mood. In fact, when I am stressed I will almost always find time to stop, take a deep breath, and reassure myself: “You’re doing great Bette. I love you so much.”   I did not always have this skill, far from it. But something changed in me when I came out. I think a big part of it was that I suddenly understood the degree of the challenges I had been enduring. Since it was obvious how much happier (and kinder and healthier and in touch with my emotions) I was due to behaving authentically, it became clear just how much I had suffered by not behaving authentically. And this helped me forgive myself for how I’d behaved in the time before transition, because I finally understood the challenges I’d faced then.   This is so deep Vidanjali, and it speaks to why loving others is so difficult if we struggle to love ourselves. 
    • KymmieL
      @Mmindy good to see you back. Glad everything is going good.     Had a physical therapy appointment. dealing with my planter facetious. While in the waiting room, waiting. I actually had a Transwoman come in. This is the first one of us I have seen at the Cheyenne VA.    Kymmie 
    • MaeBe
      Yes. I will not go into personal details, but I have: avoided travel, been more vigilant while out, accelerated every gender-affirm procedure I possibly could, started stockpiling medication, have had some zany conversations about setting up a hormone support network, lost tens of thousands in investments (and had to liquidate some to have funds from losing positions, because I won't get my first check until mid-May), had to listen to that blowhard and his sycophantic handler/cronies bloviate every day, have had to hire more security for my events, had to be more worried about where and how we advertise said events (had someone ripping flyers down--INSIDE a coffee shop), have had people emboldened by the rhetoric to directly confront me with their BS opinions about me, hmm...I'm sure there's more.
    • rhonda74
    • KathyLauren
      The biggest effect on me is that my personal ban on travel to the US has changed from a self-imposed one (I just wouldn't have felt safe there) to an official one (I am not admissible due to having my correct gender on my passport).  It is dumb, having to lie to get into the country, but they consider the correct information to be fraud.  I'm not going to go there, both literally and figuratively.   Travel by road is out of the question: I could be arrested and incarcerated.  Travel by air is safer because the border screening takes place on Canadian soil.  When I would be found inadmissible, the worst they could do would be to tell me to go home.   I worry that trumpist politics are coming here.  We dodged a bullet in the recent federal election, but those right-wingers are still among us.  The longer the orange one remains in power, the more those policies will become normalized, even here.
    • KathyLauren
      I am doing exactly that in the current play.  The backdrop has to change from afternoon light to sunset during each scene.  The LEDs are a bit too digital for a totally smooth fade, but if I do it slowly enough, the audience doesn't seem to notice the jumps.
    • Vidanjali
      I used to consider my life innately cursed. Now, I consider it all a great blessing. The blessing is being able to see it that way. It may see like an empty platitude, but certainly all the challenges I have faced have helped me to develop virtues. I could not have seen it that way in the past. But it's a simple principle - even babies crawl before they can walk, and they fall down many times before they become proficient. 
    • Vidanjali
      As is your warmth and happiness!
    • MariChelan
      So far they've prevented me from updating my gender with the social security office and also will prevent me from doing so on my passport. Also the stock market crash knocked a few hundred dollars off my IRA in only a single day.
    • Carolyn Marie
      There hasn't been a direct effect on my personal situation (so far).  What I worry about is what comes next, and about all the folks, young and not young, who are feeling direct effects.  It isn't all about me.  Also, I am much more nervous than I used to be about prejudiced cis-folk feeling less constrained about expressing themselves towards me. "Live and let live" seems to have become an anachronism.  Troubled times they have come.   Carolyn Marie
    • PhoenixInMe
      I'm really feeling the pressure of this administration, honestly feeling scared as to what it could mean for me, and the community as a whole. After fighting the dysphoria / inner turmoil for the last few years I'm finally in a place where I'm ready to be me. This year I've been slowly building a support network ahead of coming out, all of my healthcare providers are behind me, my PCP is supportive and we're talking next steps. I've come to accept that this could spell the end for my marriage ☹️ and all that's associated with that, but now with what this administration is doing, I don't know what to do.    I'm from the UK and up for renewal next year, and now I'm debating whether I should delay yet another year just to be safe or if it's safe enough for me to start transitioning now and just try to boymode when I have to show up next year to take a new photo. I worry that by coming out now it might jeopardize my chances to renew my status. And with how gung-ho they're being with deportations what happens if they decide my identity is enough to warrant an arrest or deny my renewal, one infraction now and I can be sent out and honestly that terrifies me. 
    • kat2
      There's not that much use for colour filters, they have become a collectors item worth alot of money. I have both Lee Colourtran and Rank Strand, with the advent of DMX and LED technology you can change a lamps colour via dmx.For me as a dancer and then injuring my ankle foot, put an end to my career so i progressed back stage.   I have a lot of happy memories working in both theatre and cabaret, I remember when a new idea came out which i said would never catch on, my poor boss kept pleading with me to carry on but i was crawling up the wall, "he would often say", I feel your pain, but think about the money, sound video production was a very specialist field. I would lay down what was called a click track and if the artists on stage stopped for any reason (and there were many) we had to re sinc the whole thing again. Music video production wasn't my thing really, credit to those that can do it. Picture on the left gateway recording studio teaching pod, Picture on the right Carvin  Mixing desk from Mytle Beach, United States
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